I did something with another man and I blame my husband; my husband likes the idea of me doing something with another guy but in the eight years of marriage I never really have, perhaps on a handful of occasions on a girls night out I have snogged some guy on the dance floor after drinking to fast, that’s about it.

Basically I did things like that for my husband; I then went home and told him about it and exaggerated it all, which really turned him on. Truly the only times anything like this has occurred is when I’m over my drink limit and he’s he been pestering me before going out to do something stupid. The other thing is he likes in his fantasy is for me to wear angora sweater dress without a bra and suspender tights; I didn’t really mind doing the dressing up part as it excites him and I used to think that’s sort of normal for a young wife. Unfortunately over the last couple of years these are the fantasies he uses to float his boat. So basically I being giving him what he wants by dressing up in the way he likes when I go out with girlfriends and then I simply make silly stories up. He doesn’t want to watch or anything of that nature; he just enjoys the idea of me doing naughty things.

Here’s where it get complicated, about five months back I am out dressed in my little black knitted dress when this older overweight business type around 55/60ish but with money hits on me. I had no interest but I start to talk to him just so I could make up some sort of a story for my husband’s imagination. Even though he wasn’t at all attractive he was extremely funny and the more I drank the more his physical appearance didn’t seem to matter. Eventually we were dancing and he started snogging me, god knows what I was thinking. At this point I decided to leave and go home before anything gets out of hand as I sense the stirrings of the reckless stage that comes with too much alcohol.

I told him I was just going to the toilet but I would come back but unfortunately he followed me and grabbed me pulling me into the disabled corridor toilet, I really didn’t resist but instead just stupidly giggled and he held me from behind for a moment. Even at this point I could have and should have said enough but my lack of resistance just gave him all the excuse he needed and he started touching my breasts, ashamedly I just let him. I find my breasts getting touch such a turn on and I suspect that’s I actually all I really wanted but in this risky situation it seemed so pleasing; but then it gets much worse because gradually he unzipped I could feel him stiffen. After that I just let him proceed and I don’t think any more details are required but you can imagine. We were in that toilet for bit.

Afterwards I eventually found my friends and they were intoxicated enough not even to have noticed my absence or my shame. I never told my husband because for all his fantasy talk I don’t know how he would react to a real situation. No doubt others will say why didn’t you choose some young stud; but none of this was ever intentional. Plus that could have had the potential of turning into a real affair; the truth is for all my husband’s dirty little desires we get on really well and I want to stay with him with whatever flaws he has.

I am thinking I should never have even gone down the road of making up stories for him because I have literally ensnared myself into one of them. And that night has now changed me and released something that won’t easily put back in the bottle; I suppose the problem always was that the more I made up stories of illicit affairs for my husband’s pleasure the more I gravitated towards doing something in reality. I was turning myself on just as much as he, so when I got dressed up and went out I was already unconsciously sexual heightened and that was before I started drinking.

When I started to write about my predicament I researched it on the net and I was shocked by how many men are fascinated and get turned on by this; it’s truly a rather odd desire to have about your wife/girlfriend. I couldn’t fantasise about my husband like that. Without boasting the fact is I’m 29 slim and petite with as pretty face so why is that not enough for him? Why does this whole idea of behaving like a whore turn him and other men on so much?


Reading this over now and I confess it all sounds so freaky and that’s with me cutting out most of the graphic details. Have any girls/women experience anything similar.

There's a real conflict of shame and horny for guys when their partners do this, essentially it's cuckoldry. As a guy I can understand this, but wouldn't want to try it out because I wouldn't handle the aftermath. Without being preachy, how would you react if your husband did the same? I ask that question, because if you can't put what happened back in the box, then maybe you should try the same but with him involved. It seems to me that it was a very naughty, erotic experience and you've been dwelling on it which will build it up even more. Two ways to deal with it are do it more (and risk feeling guilty, which is why I suggest involving your other half) or try to forget it and move on (and never, ever think about it when you're feeling horny because if you do, it's all you'll ever want)

There's a real conflict of shame and horny for guys when their partners do this, essentially it's cuckoldry. As a guy I can understand this, but wouldn't wanna try it out because I wouldn't handle the aftermath. Without being preachy, how would you react if your husband did the same? I ask that question, because if you can't put what happened back in the box, then maybe you should try the same but with him involved. It seems to me that it was a very naughty, erotic experience and you've been dwelling on it which will build it up even more. Two ways to deal with it are do it more (and risk feeling guilty, which is why i suggest involving your other half) or try to forget it and move on (and never, ever think about it when you're feeling horny because if you do, it's all you'll ever want)



You’re correct in as much as the eroticism goes but I have no intentions of purposely perusing this with further adventures or involving my husband because the swinging life style is like attempting to have your cake and eat it.

I have been going out with my friends on occasions for years never having intentionally sought out a man to do much more than dance. When I said it will be difficult to put it back in the bottle I mean the desire to mess around is now closer to the surface; I doubt if there is much I can really do about that accept not drink as much so that my resolve stays intact.

But if my husband had never talked about his fantasies it would never have triggered this outcome, he has somehow manoeuvred my sexual consciousness into his ballpark. Sexual responses can be altered and the more something is forbidden the more exciting it becomes, dark desires are within in us all and I feel that my seal has now been broken and is now much weaker.

Since that event I struggle with guilt not for him since he started me down this path but for myself. Frequently I feel guilty in the sense of losing some kind of imagined purity. I now find when I start to analyse the course of events I eventually become full of the horn which usually ends up with me masturbating, something which before had been pretty infrequent.

I was hoping to hear other girl’s thoughts on this to see if anyone else is coping with this desire of men who now seem to enjoy to using their wife to titillate themselves.

Carine, my first suggestion is to stop drinking to the point of inebriation. Talk to your friends about having nights out doing things other than going to bars, dancing, or any other place where there would be too much temptation to over-indulge.

You know your husband better than we do. You would have a better idea of how he would react to your indiscretion. You would also have a better idea of whether he might stumble across this thread. Usually, it is best for the partner to 'confess' than it is for the other partner to find out from others.

Is there any chance he would ask someone to spy on you or set you up when he knows you will be drunk?

Don't blame your husband's fantasies for your behavior. You may be young but you are a consenting adult. You have made the conscious decision to play games and escalate your own behavior. You do talk about 'snogging' some guy on the dance floor when drinking. It was only a matter of time before something went farther because part of you has been living your fantasies.

Talk to your husband about keeping fantasies between the two of you. You dress up for your husband when he goes out with you. You can tell him stories you make up without having a night out with your friends. You can role-play and have him pretend to be the 'other man' then make up a story about the encounter to satisfy his cuckold fantasy.