My boyfriend and I have been going through some fairly rough times and I'm having a hard time deciding whether it's time to end things. I apologize for the long post/rant in advance. Also, sorry if there's some graphic words, and please don't judge me for the decisions I make.


Story: If it's too long, just skip down :)
A little while ago, we had decided to become a little more open with our relationship and start letting other people view us doing various acts on webcam in adult chat sites. We are in a long distance relationship, so when we go on, no one knows I'm dating. Of course, since I'm a girl, more guys would watch me than girls watch him. He put restrictions on me on what I can do on camera, but I didn't place any restrictions on him because in the past, he's always been faithful and is genuinely a good guy. He never did anything with a girl on the site. The issues started when I mentioned a guy on the site to my boyfriend, let's call him Bob. Bob asked if I did anything with this guy, and I honestly replied no. Later that day, Bob proceeds to tell me that he went through my emails (I had yet to contact the guy so there were no emails) and other chat messengers for his peace of mind to know that I wasn't talking to the guy. His lack of trust in me was baffling because I had been completely honest with him and we've never had real trust issues before. Since Bob was allowed to show more on camera, I got frustrated because limits were placed on me and I was feeling stifled. I asked to be able to show more, and we eventually got into a fight over the trust and freedom issue. We agreed to stop visiting the adult site while we worked to resolve this. The next day, I call him and Bob confesses to me that his day hasn't gone well, and that he needed to tell me something. He had cyber sex with some random girl because he wanted to prove to himself that he could get views too. Bob did this on a site other than the one we said we wouldn't visit for a while. He said that after that he would be okay with me not asking for permission to do things on the camera anymore. He is also genuinely sorry for what he did.

Issue:
I'm conflicted because originally I said it was okay for him to do whatever he wants on an adult chatsite, but because we're arguing about it now, I feel that he should have restrained himself from having cyber sex with someone. Am I wrong for thinking this? I also don't see very many cases of the guilty party confessing to the unsuspecting party, so I'm not really sure how to treat this. He's never done anything like this in the past, so I'm not sure if "once a cheater, always a cheater" applies. This makes me feel conflicted on the trust issue because I've completely trusted him in the past, he's never done anything terribly wrong in the past, and he was the one who confessed, not I found out without him knowing. Is cyber sex cheating when it's a one time thing? He offered to show me the chat conversation and a picture of her, but I was so hurt and shocked by the revelation that I declined. He's extremely sorry for what he did, and wants to be completely transparent about everything to regain my trust. I've always thought that a relationship is built on trust, and that if the trust isn't there, a real relationship doesn't exist. So if he doesn't trust me for talking to other guys (I have never had an affair) and I'm not sure whether I trust him, is this relationship worth trying to save? I don't want to lose him, but I know that I have reservations and I'm wondering if I just love the idea of being with someone as opposed to a particular person. Ultimately, are there any valid reasons to break up with him, and should I?

I think the two of you have serious issues, first it is not cheating if you both were allowing it to happen, trying or wanting to change the rules after allowing it, is the issue.

It is not that he showed or did more, but it appears you sound mor are mad , that you were not allowed to do more on camera.

Of course remember how many guys are recording this and you naked photos can be all around the internet and world by now.

But he was in his own apartment, they were somewhere else in the world, sorry since this was to a point approved activity, I think one needs to sit down and consider if it was a wise choice.

I am not sure what has been done can be undone, but perhaps not involving 3rd and 4th parties may be a great start

Did you ever stop and think the guys viewing you were having cyber sex too?? That means you both cyber cheated. Quit playing these cyber games and have a real relationship, unless he is a cyber boyfriend. Is he?

Regardless, keep others out of your relationship, cyber or otherwise. Its hard enough with just the two of you.