Without getting into too much detail, I've been to a psychiatrist who told me that I probably have depression, which I already figured out myself a while ago. A lot of things have happened in my life that I'm not too happy about. Since then I've been taking medication and I'm doing better, although I'm still having some down days (but much much less frequently than before). This psychiatrist told me basically to "keep my brain occupied" and do things to keep myself busy. Volunteer, go for a walk. I explained that I already tried things like that and those are only distractions that don't even help me feel better. He said, "well if you do it religiously, you'll feel better, believe me."

I didn't like this advice so I went to a psychologist to get another opinion. He said I'm socially isolated and I need go "go out" and "meet people" and "try dating sites." Most people I've talked to have said I need to "meet new people."

What I feel like people aren't getting is that I don't think those are actually solutions to anything. I have people I can talk to, but that doesn't help. I tried going out for a walk, I still feel miserable and it does nothing but make me feel tired. I tried dating sites but it's not going anywhere. I don't believe I'm socially isolated, I LIKE to sit at home and watch TV, go on my computer or play games. I DON'T LIKE to go out to volunteer at some random place or exercise. In my happiest time I only talked to 3 people and I rarely ever went out. I don't think more people or more distractions is going to help. But then again, what do I know, right?

So now I'm going to force myself to volunteer at a hospital or somewhere, force myself to go to classes after work and things like that even though I feel like I won't like them. I'd like to think I know myself better than these people, but apparently I don't. Am I really just being stubborn?

Why did you go to a psychiatrist in the first place?

Why did you go to a psychiatrist in the first place?

I went because I thought I had depression since I was feeling very down, had no motivation to do anything, and having suicidal thoughts.

What did you expect would happen?

I have a few things I'd like to address.

1. Sometimes you have to try different therapists before you find one that will work for you. It could just be that the ones you're seeing aren't compatible with you and what you're hoping to achieve.

2. How long have you been on the anti depressants?

3. Being active in your life, going out and doing things, doesn't necessarily mean volunteering, or going on dating sites. If that's not what you want, then find other ways, other things, that will get you out there. It could be as simple as going out for coffee with a friend, or doing yoga. It doesn't need to be taken literally.

4. What do you hope to achieve from therapy? What part of your life are you unhappy with?

A psychiatrist prescribes, and rarely does therapy. A psychologist may or may not be a good therapist, and his or her degree may be more than you need. These days, a lot depends on how much insurance coverage you have! Quick fixes are more common than long term therapy unless you can pay.
I would suggest a group, possibly even a free peer group, or one run by a licensed person so your insurance covers it. You are articulate and obviously can express yourself with others who are dealing with depression, and it becomes a mutual help exercise. You can also spend time HERE! I came here looking for advice about my cooktop wiring and ended up answering a lot of questions under other categories like this one. I've often been depressed (and tried various treatments and medications) throughout my 65 years.

I'll keep a lookout for you here... and many of us here are good online friends.

Hello myself,

Are you my long lost twin or something? I don't want to go for a walk, I do not want to volunteer somewhere, I like to stay home and I keep myself busy here.
I'm no psychologist or anything (even though I've seen a few), but if I was you I would do what made me feel comfortable. Forcing yourself to do something you don't like to do would seem to increase your misery. Ask yourself, does it make you more or less miserable to volunteer?
Excuse my crudeness but there is an old saying... "opinions are like ---holes, everybody's got one and they all stink!" Listen to yourself... be kind to yourself...

Dear Yourself,

Yes, you are being stubborn. You can sit at home alone and watch TV and play video games and goof around on your computer and eat snacks, but none of those things will help you get undepressed. In fact, they will only deepen your depression.

First of all, though, your attitude has to be adjusted so that you are more receptive to new ideas and different ways of living.

How about writing an essay for the site blog? 200-800 or so words. PM it to me for any editing, and I will post it. You probably have something important to say. I am betting on it.

Your online pro bono therapist,
WG