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View Full Version : I love him so much but won't leave although he keeps emotionally abusing me


Layla1988
Oct 7, 2012, 05:01 PM
I love my husband so much, we have a lovely 9 month old baby, we live 1400 miles apart so it's a distant relationship. It was never meant to be like this. He was spose to come and live with me in england after we got married but his visa application kept getting rejected, so we decided that its best I move to his country. However, throughout the 3 years I've been married to him, I can only say that I found happiness only in the first year. After thst I realized we're two very very different people. We were bought up in different ways, with different values and cultural influences... I love him for what he has done for me, all his hard work to provide for us, his amazing future plans, he really does care about me... but he also doesn't know how to love, he can't show affection, isn't passionate, doesn't have a compatible sex drive, and although I believe he loves me, he's totally got his priorities messed up. I feel worthless to him. Like nothing about me matters, when I'm angry or upset or sad, he doesn't know how comfort me, instead, my sadness or whatever, amplifies in him. He becomes worse than me, I end up having to sort myself out. I'm very expressive, he isn't at all, AT ALL, not emotionally, physically, mentally or even sexually. I'm supposed to be moving to his country in 2 months, but I'm so unhappy in this marriage, I'm thinking twice, but he's bought us a house, and finished furnishing it, he's worked so hard to make it perfect for me... its hard to say no to him, especially that love is also involved. Out of the 3 years that we'v been married, we'v lived physically together for about 18 months... and he was the same, so I can't say that it's the distance that's causing problems. We're in two different world and incompatible in every way. He priortises a luxury life over a happy marriage, and it's the opposite with me. I don't know what to do about this move... should I go and see how it'll be for few months and put things on hold here (my house, job, etc) or should I just tell him it won't work and file for divorce? I do love him with all my heart, but I can't live apart from him any more, and I can't imagine being in an empty relationship all my life.

Moniquekimberli
Oct 7, 2012, 05:13 PM
Trying never hurt. If you don't try you'll never know and always have those "what ifs"