I met my Nigerian boyfriend on line and although it was just chatting at first in February this year, we grow closer and ended up falling in love. We want to marry but the laws have changed. We don’t know how or what to do about arrangements and what arrangements we need to do. I am not working and am in fact on disability.

I have read all the negative things and all the positive things that has been said on the net about Nigerians wanting to marry white woman for a visa, but to be honest with you, my boyfriend has not asked for anything like that from me and although I never thought it was possible to fall for anyone on the net. I have and we just keep hitting one brick wall after another.

I know we both want to be together but don’t know how to or what to do, is it possible for me to go to Dakar, Senegal so that we can be together? Would I be able to go to Africa to marry my boyfriend?

How about asking him to come see you? Wouldn't that make more sense?

How about asking him to come see you? Wouldn't that make more sense?

Yes I know what you are saying and yes I did invite him,I sent him a letter of invatation with all the documents,then me been stupid started listening to peoples negative words,leading to a lot of arguments between myself and my boyfriend,which lead to delays in him coming over , now the new laws are out and we can not marry over here unless we have met each other first, thanks

Has he asked you for any money yet?

Where is "here" where are you at. There have not been many new law changes that I am aware of.

In the US, Normally they come over on a tourist visa, you then marry, and then he applies for a change in the status. At the worst, he may have to run out of the country on tourist visa a couple times a year until a change of status happens.

Here are some good web sites, I am sure you must have seen them.

http://www.travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/cis/cis_987.html

http://www.nigeriaembassyusa.org/index.php?page=visas

I hate to break it to you but the odds are against this being legitimate.

More info: Romance Scams (http://www.romancescams.org/)

Is he a Nigerian in Senegal? Those are two different countries.

And most important... what DOCUMENTS DID YOU SEND HIM??

He knows am only on benefits here in england and only get enough to get me through. But the answer is no he has never asked for a penny from me , thanks


Is he a Nigerian in Senegal? Those are two different countries.

And most important... what DOCUMENTS DID YOU SEND HIM???

Yes I know its two different countries he's been living in senegal for 4 years but he comes from nigeria... yes he knows that I have a disability its not severe he knows am on benefits too . He has never asked me for any money he has got most of the money saved for coming over he knows am not rich... am from england hun.. I had to go to my council and get my house checked for safety reasons I had to send the paper work of prof of it been safe also I had to send my information about what benefits I was on also a copy of my passport so it was prof that it was me sending and signing the documents and of course the letter of invatation hun.. thanks for your concern...

My concern is very deep. Never, ever, ever send anyone copies of your passport.
The benefit papers added to that make you ripe for identity theft.
You THINK you know this man. You don't. He might be the sweetest most honest guy in the world. He might be doing this for a LIVING, with countless women, as many around the world are doing.
In fact I would tell the passport office that you sent copies even if you don't say to whom.
Oh dear!

My concern is very deep. Never, ever, ever send anyone copies of your passport.
The benefit papers added to that make you ripe for identity theft.
You THINK you know this man. You don't. He might be the sweetest most honest guy in the world. He might be doing this for a LIVING, with countless women, as many around the world are doing.
In fact I would tell the passport office that you sent copies even if you don't say to whom.
Oh dear!
Thank you for your concern hun but the dakar english emassy had to ring me for me to confirm it was me whom was inviting him over,they also had to check with my council to make sure there was no mistake in me actually living here, it was actually the council whom told me what documents I had to send to him hun,I really do know of your concerns but I have not gone in with my eyes shut,,

Seriously? Are you crazy? You met him ONLINE and you want to MARRY him? You haven't met him! How do you know he isn't some next crazy man just out to get your money or something. Sorry but a lot of things like this are toooooooooo good to be true!

Actually if two people are truthful and honest (which is where the trouble lies) online we can really find out a lot with each other, using Skype or same, we can have video calls and phone calls free every day. 1000s of people meet and find someone online, it is not much different than those who wrote and married from writing.

And if you meet them at the local Pizza Hut, you don't know if they are a crook or not, all you know is that you meet them, in fact in person you are at a much higher risk, since wth almost no knowledge you get alone and go somewhere with them in person

Please understand, we do care, and the fraud is so big,it is tough. I had the "honor??" of being given a tour of one of the Ghana dating business, dozens of people, working 3 shifts, doing emails by the 1000's and getting some to answer them, and they use written scripts, and all types of excusses not to use video cams.
Often if they do, then they have special girls or guys for this. And have to say they lied about their photos because they were scared but here are the real ones, ( normally much better looking for videos of course)

But often you don't even email or chat with the same person from day to day, since it depends who is working what shift.
They will even use skype of other phone systems to have phone numbers for all sort of countries for scam use.

Good luck, and since this isnot the US I can't tell you a lot about your nation.

seriously? are you crazy? you met him ONLINE and you want to MARRY him?! you havent met him! how do you know he isnt some next crazy man just out to get your money or something. sorry but alot of things like this are toooooooooo good to be true!

I haven't gone in with my eyes closed and yes I have had many times thought what you think, I have also had many arguments with him also my family over the same questions hun,, but for one I have no money am on disability also on benefits hun so he carnt get what I haven't got, two he is the one whom is getting the money for everything that's needs paying for,, u can not imagine how much we have had disagreements about all kinds of stuff,, thank you for your concern

i havnt gone in with my eyes closed and yes i have had many times thought what u think ,,i have also had many arguements with him also my family over the same questions hun,,,but for one i have no money am on disability also on benifits hun so he carnt get wat i havnt got,,two he is the one whom is getting the money for everything thats needs paying for,,,u can not imagine how much we have had disagreements about all kinds of stuff,,,thank you for ur concern

Well aslong as you think you know what your doing, but don't go all set to marry before you REALLY get to know someone :) just saying.

How do you know it was the embassy calling you?
I've never heard of that happening...
Again - stealing money is one thing, stealing identity is another. Your 'twin' could end up in some jail somewhere in the world, or could be getting a visa to get out of the country in your name, or could be busy scamming people using your picture, birthday, address, and so on. Apparently you haven't seen any of the horror stories of stolen ID.
If you want to think you are secure and call everyone hun and act like we are alarmists, then we will all go away. Lots of luck with this romance.

The sending a copy of your passport is troublesome, I can't imagine any romance that would involve that requirement. Keep an eye on your bank accounts and credit card balances.

The sending a copy of your passport is troublesome, I can't imagine any romance that would involve that requirement. Keep an eye on your bank accounts and credit card balances.
I'm with you and Joy. And her receiving phone calls from the embassy and whoever to "verify" and request" really bothers me.

I'm with you and Joy. And her receiving phone calls from the embassy and whoever to "verify" and request" really bothers me.
Agreed. An embassy has no time nor do they get involved in such trivial matters. The call was likely faked. It would be easy to test that theory, call the actual embassy and ask for the name of the person who contacted you.

Agreed. An embassy has no time nor do they get involved in such trivial matters. The call was likely faked. It would be easy to test that theory, call the actual embassy and ask for the name of the person who contacted you.
And this too -- "they also had to check with my council to make sure there was no mistake in me actually living here,,it was actually the council whom told me what documents i had to send to him." Easy enough to fake. Apparently, she herself did not make any calls.

Can anyone tell me of any succesfull marriages between a nigerian man and an english woman, I have had negative feed backs and some good feed backs,but I would like to hear from someone who has married a nigerian man , I want to marry my nigerian boyfriend but of course it's a real big decision and hoping to hear from someone who has actually been in volved in marriage with a nigerian thanks

First there is no such thing as one type of Nigerian man, some are quiet, some lound, some bossy, some not. You have to know what your person is like, have to talk over all sorts of what ifs in marriage, what they believe and so on.

I know 100's of Nigerian men and women, and Ghanan and more of African nationality.
Many are forceful and believe they run the family, and that they control the women, but others do not, You have to find out what your person is like, there is no one type

You are looking for people to tell you it is OK for you to marru this men you don't know, have never met. No reason to start another guestion.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/have-african-boyfriend-but-we-havnt-actually-met-can-go-africa-marry-706818.html

You need to know this man. You don't

how many successful marriages between a Nigerian man and a white English woman?

I don't care what your races or finances are about, if you think you will have a successful marriage without the benefit of a getting to interact in person for a reasonable period you are sadly mistaken. I don't know what drives your desires, nor will I assume, but the fact he asked for nothing means nothing, nor do any agreements you have had simply because you have not been able to solve the basic problem of meeting up and sharing time in person.

Only then can you really know each others characters, AND flaws, and true natures and the real reality of working together and building a life. I know you are so in love and determined and he says he feels the same, but there are no tests and challenges over the net, only in REAL LIFE, and so far you have not solved the FIRST obstacle of distance to even see for yourself up front and personal, if this is real, or just a fantasy built from circumstance.

You seem ready for the risk, and I hope you are, but rushing into a life changing commitment like marriage is a crap shoot for couples in person without the pressure of distance. Add to that cultural differences and living challenges, your chances are slim to none,but of course you think your Internet love can conquer all.

Solve the riddle of meeting first, and then see what happens. Marriage is NOT the step to take in experimenting and exploring what you are both about for each other, nor as a means to get together to find out if this is the real deal or NOT!

That what dating is about, having fun getting to know each other in person to see if marriage is a good idea or not. That's the crucial step in the process you would well be advised not to skip with an Internet romance, no matter your color, or compassion.

I agree, you travel there and meet, spend the time you can there together, If things go good, come back and continue relationion on Skype. ** I assume you are using video skype, so you see and talk to each other in real time. It is basically free and easy to use.

Then you can make plans for the marriage. Allow things to take its time.

AGAIN!! I doubt this man plans to marry this woman, since he has faked calls to get her very identity on paper.

If I am wrong you can shoot me, hate me, whatever you want. Nigeria is home to countless internet scams for a good reason - the government educated young people for jobs they cannot get because they don't exist.

I agree, you travel there and meet, spend the time you can there together, If things go good, come back and continue relationion on Skype. ** I assume you are using video skype, so you see and talk to each other in real time. It is basicly free and easy to use.

Then you can make plans for the marriage. Allow things to take its time.

Yes we talk a lot on skype and Yahoo messenger... we get on well most of the time and I know we have to get to know each other in person properly that goes without saying, although we have been in touch every day since 7th feb,, it hasn't been plain sailing and we both have ended our relationship a couple of times only to continue to be friends,, but always end up getting back together as a couple... thanks for your advice... sometimes we have to take chances in this life because we would never really know the outcome if we never took the plunge,,


AGAIN!!!! I doubt this man plans to marry this woman, since he has faked calls to get her very identity on paper.

If I am wrong you can shoot me, hate me, whatever you want. Nigeria is home to countless internet scams for a good reason - the government educated young people for jobs they cannot get because they don't exist.

Again thanks for the concern but hate is a strong word so I could never hate u, you are entitled to your opinion same as anyone... but I have not sent anything I was not sopose to,to him if you want to check what people need to send to someone for them to come over,, look it up for yourself... thanks

As a grand theme: online romances are not real romances until you eventually physically spend time together and share some experiences. It is way too easy to put on a persona online that is not the real person's personality.

OK, good luck, brush up on your French, find out what Muslim laws you might have to obey, and have a safe trip. I hope you will both have enough money to live on, without the benefits you are used to, or that you can keep some of them even if you leave the country.
I see that there is a new president, the senate was abolished less than a month ago, unemployment is high, but I see no news of war or other such dangers. Dakar is a huge city, so I assume that like any big city there are nice places and slums.

OK, good luck, brush up on your French, find out what Muslim laws you might have to obey, and have a safe trip. I hope you will both have enough money to live on, without the benefits you are used to, or that you can keep some of them even if you leave the country.
I see that there is a new president, the senate was abolished less than a month ago, unemployment is high, but I see no news of war or other such dangers. Dakar is a huge city, so I assume that like any big city there are nice places and slums.

Thank you for that joypulv I have seen were he lives also seen his friends on video cam while I have been speaking to him he don't look like he's from a slumy area,, also he is saving money up I will get moneys from my family also for when I decide to go,, I have said to him that I will only be going over there for a months holiday 1st just so that we can meet in person see if we feel the same way after that, then make it more permanent when we are sure... wen I gave him documents he needed he also had to send me his passport id too you know so for me to put on who's coming over and his passport number hun thanks once again...


As a grand theme: online romances are not real romances until you eventually physically spend time together and share some experiences. It is way too easy to put on a persona online that is not the real person's personality.

I understand what you are saying and I'm going to go to senegal for a months holiday after christmas,that way we can get to see each other in person and get to know one another better... and after that if we still feel the same then we will plan our wedding maybe for the following year,, thanks for your advice...

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to talaniman again.

I think you have your mind made up and no matter what anyone says you are going to do this.
This all sounds immature and desperate. I hope you know what you're doing.

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to talaniman again.

I think you have your mind made up and no matter what anyone says you are going to do this.
This all sounds immature and desperate. I hope you know what you're doing.

I'm sorry if I have given you the impression that I am desperate but you are far from the truth there...

Is it fair to say that the warm glow of love may have you looking to far forward too soon? Or you may be a bit over eager to meet and get to the next level?

When will he have enough to visit you? I hope you can overcome the obstacles before you, and find happiness.

How did you know those phone calls were from the embassy or from your council?

AGAIN!!!! I doubt this man plans to marry this woman, since he has faked calls to get her very identity on paper.


After reading this site: http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/visas-immigration/visiting/ , he may not have faked calls. Depending on the type of visa he was applying for the government may have requested certain documentation from her. It appears that nearly all types other than general tourist need documentation from the person being visited.

lorraine, I don't think you are desperate, but I hope you are being realistic about your expectations.

I am glad that you are going to visit him, make certain that you take all precautions you can including having your own place to stay that is not dependent on him. It is a caution for anyone traveling to meet someone face to face for the first time.

I fully agree with Tal. Get to know more about him before you set any wedding plans in motion.

One other thing about a successful marriage, look at where you plan to live and the culture/tradition differences. Be aware of the major changes and stress that moving to a new country will bring. Communicate and compromise.

Good luck.

After reading this site: http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/visas-immigration/visiting/ , he may not have faked calls. Depending on the type of visa he was applying for the government may have requested certain documentation from her. It appears that nearly all types other than general tourist need documentation from the person being visited.

lorraine, I don't think you are desperate, but I hope you are being realistic about your expectations.

I am glad that you are going to visit him, make certain that you take all precautions you can including having your own place to stay that is not dependant on him. It is a caution for anyone traveling to meet someone face to face for the first time.
I fully agree with Tal. Get to know more about him before you set any wedding plans in motion.

One other thing about a successful marriage, look at where you plan to live and the culture/tradition differences. Be aware of the major changes and stress that moving to a new country will bring. Communicate and compromise.

Good luck.

Thank you for your advice I appriciate it,

Is it fair to say that the warm glow of love may have you looking to far forward too soon? Or you may be a bit over eager to meet and get to the next level?

When will he have enough to visit you? I hope you can overcome the obstacles before you, and find happiness.

I have been on line and skype with him for 8 months now and we want to actually meet in person,, I am going over to meet him in January so that we can get to know each other better,, he has enough money now to come over to me, but with the english laws just changing, because we have to have met before he comes over to marry I decided to go to him.