First I should start saying that my boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years, about 8 months ago I found out he was looking for someone else because he wasn't happy. But I didn't know that he was deciding to stay, I just knew he was looking, so I felt like maybe I should look too. I started talking to someone and we ended up hanging out. He made a move on me and we kissed, he ate me out and I gave him a hand job. This guy and I continued to talk for three months and we skyped. My boyfriend found out and I lied to him about it. I continued to lie about it for about 3 months. I finally told him what happened, he even went so far as to contact the other guy and find out if I was telling the truth and our stories matched. My boyfriend said that we could now move forward and put it in the past. This was about 2 weeks ago. Last night I brought up that I think we should actually call ourselves boyfriend/girlfriend again and he said he wasn't ready for it. He said that he can not sleep with me without thinking about the other guy and when ever he is with me he feels horrible about himself, but when he is not with me he feels great about himself. He said he wants this to work and he still loves me but he doesn't have anything else to give to this relationship. He said he is not always happy anymore and all the happy points just change into the guy being in his head. He told me if I can make him feel better about everything and figure out a way to get the other guy out of his head then he will stay with me. He said if I can magically make him feel better then he will start new and fresh with me. Otherwise he wants to take some time apart till the end of the school semester (begaining of December) which I do not want. He said that we will still see each other sometimes during the week as friends and we will sometimes talk. But I don't want him out of my life and I don't want to not be with him for three months. I have gone so far as to give him all my account passwords so he can look anytime he wants. He can look at my phone anytime and anywhere I go I tell him and I send him a picture of where I am and who I am with. I have told him so many times that I am sorry and I cry about it almost everyday. I regret doing it and I hate myself for it. I wish I could just take it all back. I need help trying to get him to feel better about us and get him to stop thinking about the past and move into the present and think about the future. Please help me with any advise you can.

First off, It drives me crazy when a person refers to oral sex on a woman as "ate me out". It sounds low class and immature. I would have rather read "licked my p@#sy", than what you said.

K... now to your question. Unfortunately, you can't change what has happened. Your boyfriend will always have that mental picture of another man going down on you.

I understand that you want him in your life, however, it was you who decided to cheat. It would have been a different thing if you two were broken up, then hooked up with another, but it wasn't.

Time to pull the plug.