She lied the first week and said she had been raped and that's why she can't be sexual very well. But then after all this time she finally comes out and says there's 2 other reasons.

1. She's inexperienced (which she lied about she said she had a boyfriend before) and
2. She has bad anxiety about herself and how she looks.

I had to call her out multiple times about being inexpereinced for her to finally admit it. Also she won't admit being raped probably because I cut my arm bad one night. I was really drunk because I was so pissed about her being raped (39 stitches, surgery too) and she knows why I did it. She didn't get the attention she deserved by her father when she was little. I'd like to give a nice crack at him one time. I don't know what to do. I really like her but she's driving me insane

STOP. Now you want to beat up her father? STOP.
Something is seriously missing in your relationship with her, and it takes two to act like this. It sounds like you aren't getting to know each other in slow, tender, steps.
You both need to learn how to talk to each other more, so that lies aren't needed.

Let me see you cut yourself, and want to beat up her father.

You have serious anger and drinking issues. This poor girl is much better without someone like you, please for her own good leave her alone

Yea she can't express herself openly with me.. but do you think she acualy got raped? Out of the 3 reasons she can't be sexual she only tells me 1 and that's being raped and finally comes out and says the 2 other reasons.. the rape thing was a coverup to spare my feelings I don't know

yea she can't express herself openly with me.. but do you think she acualy got raped?. outta the 3 reasons why she can't be sexual she only tells me 1 and thats being raped and finally comes out and says the 2 other reasons..the rape thing was a coverup to spare my feelings idk

We don't know her, how are we supposed to know what happened to her? You need to find someone who can be honest with you. You're both wasting your time.

It might say you're an expert but you don't know . I'm asking here in this post if you guys think she acualy got raped. Reread it and answer. I don't need no in therapy. I'm going crazy over this girl. Literally.

Ok, I read it... then I read it again. As much as I could make sense of from your writing... there's no way for us to really know if she was raped. How can we possibly know if she's lying or not? We don't know her, you do.

With that said, I think she would be better off without you and your issues.

Trust me I got no issues. I got to solid job. I'm going to skool for welding. I got to car. Everyone likes me. 2 loving parents. But she's driven me insane because I want her to be normal so badly. Id do anything. But she's so happy with me. Her depression has gone down since we've dated and she stopped doing pills ina heartbeat. I can't breakup with her.

trust me i got no issues. i gotta solid job. im goin to skool for welding. i gotta car. every1 likes me. 2 loving parents. but shes driven me insane bc i want her to be normal soo badly. id do anything. but shes soo happy wih me. her depression has gone down since weve dated and she stopped doin pills ina heartbeat. i can't breakup with her.

For one, respect those who post here, they volunteer their time to help and know a lot more than you do about your own situation.

Secondly..

We don't know who she is, or know her or her past. We cannot tell you if she did or did not get 'raped'. Why can't you understand this?

I told you enough. She has 3 reasons she can't be sexual. 1. she's self concoius about her because its not he best look. 2. she's inexpereinced as hell and has no social skills. 3. she got raped. She never told me about # 1 and 2. instead she made up lies to cover hem up. BUT. She told me almost riht away that the only reason is because she git raped. She admitted to 1 and 2 ONLY because I called her out on them. And she probably felt like she needed attention. She never git any from her dad and from her peers.

She's self concous about her vagina, Sorry I am typing on a kindle
Oh yea. And at first I could only fit 1 finger in her

Wow Matt. You calling out a girl on her sexual experience, no wonder she lied about being raped. A lot of people sadly make up story's if it's there first time, just so it takes the edge off.
And cutting yourself, really? Attention seeking much?

This isn't about a relationship anymore. This is about a train wreck.

As people have stated in a lot of post here. Most of us here know what we are talking about, you got people from all over the world and from all walks of life.
Those of us who stay on this site and read 100s of posts of day, while some have been I'm relationship marriage, longer than you have been alive.

So trust me when I say this. I know more about relationships than you do at this point.
Just like you know more about drinking and car welding, it seems.

You have all the advice you need on this thread.
Your choice to take it or leave it. But we will not keep going on in a circular argument.

Wait. I NEVER called her out. She woukd never show me her never. She would always make me turn off the lights. I love how you think you know people just because you read posts. You just assumed I called her out. no. I called her out on being inexpereinced because she said she was and she said she had sex alit of times. When she didn't. I tlkes to her friends and I could only put 1 finger up there

So why do you keep mentioning one finger? What does that have to do with anything that you posted about? So you can only get one finger in there... so what?

And you k now what? You did mention calling her out earlier but the way you write is so jumbled that it is confusing to read and make sense out of so I am sure TrueFaith simply got confused.

Having sex does not stretch a woman out... sure, sure... that's the story but it's not true.

And you say you're new to this but you can't be too new... you know enough to space the letters in your swear words to avoid being auto-censored.

Don't focus on the finger part and just help me out. Thts all I'm looking for. I know for a fact she's a virgin and completely inexpereinced she admitted it

So please if you will. Re read all of what I said about her and tell me what you think. I told you basically everything. And she lies to make her life not seem boring

How old are you both and how long have you been together? She lies because she is afraid. What she is afraid of is what talking would reveal. She may be driving you crazy because you don't or can't undersand where she is coming from.

What do you mean when you say you wish she would be normal?

Just to let you know, if she was raped, ALL of the reasons she gave, are directly connected to rape.

I suggest, if you are serious about this girl, and wanting to be with her, and she feels the same, you get couples counselling, and individual counselling for both of you, and anger management for you. Hitting things, and wanting to beat someone up, is a very noble gesture, but you need to learn how to deal with those feelings more appropriately.

wait. i NEVER called her out. she woukd never show me her never. she would always make me turn off the lights. i love how you think you kno ppl just bc you read posts. you just assumed i called her out. no. i called her out on being inexpereinced bc she said she was and she said she had sex alit of times. when she didnt. i tlkes to her frends and i could only put 1 finger up there

First we can only go by what you tells us. Sometimes we need to read between the lines.

Sounds to me like you are putting too much of an emphasis on sex and she is uncomfortable with that. She likes you, wants to please you, but you are asking for too much. If you really like this girl, then slow down. If she has lied to you, then its because of the pressure you are putting on her. You need to examine your own priorities. Do you really like this girl or do you just want sexual gratification?

Oh and a Kindle has a reasonably full keyboard. Site rules prohibit using texting abbreviations. If you want our help, then spend the time to type in full words and sentences.

. she admitted to 1 and 2 ONLY bc i called her out on them.

You mentioned this twice. In your original post and here... but there you have it. Your words.

I may NOT be an expert on relationships, however, it doesn't take a moron to to see that yours is going nowhere!

Bottom line is... you BOTH need some type of counseling. If she was raped, and she could have been, then she really needs time to herself. You don't (based off your posts) do seem capable enough to deal with her issues. Let me tell you this, if she were MY girlfriend, I would spend a little more time communicating/talking to her to make her feel at ease, and a little less time trying to drill It out of her! Oh, no pun intended.

You say "everyone" likes you?
... now why do I find that hard to believe... You have managed to either insult ir pi$$ off most of the members that have donated THEIR time to try to help YOU. If you want respect, then you give respect.

Plus... your very first sentence here includes 'the first week.' The FIRST WEEK??

'Nuff said. You are pushing her into sex too fast. She wants to please you but is scared, and all you do is complain about it. Show a little LOVE. Love means taking it slow and tenderly and carefully and tons of holding, way before sex. If you represent some new trend in young people, I feel very very sorry for this next generation.

trust me i got no issues. i gotta solid job. im goin to skool for welding. i gotta car. every1 likes me. 2 loving parents. but shes driven me insane bc i want her to be normal soo badly. id do anything. but shes soo happy wih me. her depression has gone down since weve dated and she stopped doin pills ina heartbeat. i can't breakup with her.


You're wrong about everyone liking you. I can three or four people who don't.

I was the adult victim of rape. Stop badgering her. If she lied about being raped (for whatever reason), leave her alone. She REALLY doesn't want to have sex with you if she's lying about a rape in order to avoid it.

If she's telling the truth she doesn't need you cutting yourself and threatening to teach her father a lesson.

Yea your right she must just not be ready. Even after 8 months. And she just admitted to lying about everythinf. Is she a pathaological liar? She lied about having a boyfriend and having sex. Lied about rape. She lies about other to make her life seem not boring like going out and drinking at night. I feel ao bad for her

Matt, slow down and think before you write. Take time to organize your thoughts. Self edit to make your posts more understandable. Read them as though someone else wrote them. If you can't understand what you meant, then we won't be able to comprehend them.

How old are both of you?

I regret needing to say this but you sound like an eighteen year old male with a younger teenage girlfriend. You don't seem to have the relationship skills necessary to build a foundation for a healthy relationship. How experienced in dating and working with a partner to build a relationship are you?

You cannot fix her. You cannot make her 'normal' (whatever you consider normal.) You cannot make yourself her knight-in-shining armor there to right every wrong for her. She isn't a damsel-in-distress. She is a person who needs to be responsible for her own healing and happiness. You can and should encourage her to get professional help. Be supportive of her finding her own legs and feet to stand on. Offer her a hand to hold but don't become a crutch. It isn't healthy for either of you.

Get help for yourself. Cutting yourself out of anger and frustration is not the act of a stable individual. Being liked, popular and all that is as much of a cover-up for insecurity as her giving the impression she is more experienced than she is. Some of the most likable people in the world are hiding behind a mask. Take the mask off and face yourself. Get help to learn how to truly be a happy, secure person on the inside. Do not use her and her dependence as a boost to your self-esteem. Co-dependency doesn't work in the long run.

Good luck.

and like i said again. stop assuming **** i dont usualu badger her about it. its just..she wont even feel me up probably bc shes inexpereinced and doesnt wanna show it. after 6 months did she barely start to become sexual. so its frusturating. i still can barely finger her


I think you should spend less time working on "fixing" her and more time on "fixing" yourself. Your words on two occasions: "I had to call her out multiple times" and "i called her out on them."

You very obviously have anger issues and are obsessed with the whole "how many fingers" question.

I repeat - if she lied and said she was raped in order to avoid having intercourse with you there is something very, very odd going on.

I would give up the amateur psychology and trying to save her, keeping her from falling into depression and taking pills, and study welding.