Throughout my life, I've missed on lots of opportunities for social events because I'm quite introverted But at the present time, I've just started uni and many of the students go out partying most nights. I've pushed myself a little harder to be more sociable, for example, I've made some good friends there, but every time I ask them if they want to go out, they say they are too busy or something. I've let them off plenty of times and allowed them to do what they had to do, but it happens all the time.

Also, because I'm one of a few people who are local, many of them are staying in halls of residence, thus they know each other more and I don't get to spend as much time with them. Also, my new friends don't text me much and so it seems that they have forgotten me already within a few days of befriending them; I'm always the one who has to initiate the texts, and if they do text back, which is hardly ever, it will have been ages before they reply. Once, a friend promised she would text me but she never did, so I had to do it. The only time I can talk to them is when I'm in lessons doing my course and at lunch and break times.

I'm worried that I'll wind up alone and never get the opportunity to go out to parties or even just arrange to meet up with them somewhere for a coffee or something. It also doesn't help that my old friends have grown apart and my choice of nights to go out is limited because I have night classes in mathematics to try and top up my grade as I didn't get the grade I wanted at GCSE, and I work as a volunteer at a local youth zone. It's made me rather miserable, and I end up crying myself to sleep about it. I know it sounds immature, but I'm the type that gets hurt easily although I'm good at masking it. I always wait until I'm on my own to have a good cry. But I don't want to feel this way forever, as I don't want to end up depressed. How can I feel better about this?

So you're in university, and the people you want to be partying with are also in university? You have limited times to go out and have fun, but you don't consider that other people have that same issue? Do you expect them to be at your beck and call, available whenever you want to go out?

It's University, not party time, and I'm sure that most of the students there are serious about their education.

Cut them some slack. They may not spend 24/7 texting. They have classes, they have to study, some of them may work too. It may take a few days to get back to you.

This one line of your post really gave me a lot of insight;


I've let them off plenty of times and allowed them to do what they had to do

Let them off? Allowed? ALLOWED?

Ya, I see the problem. Do you?

It will come, you first need to start making friends, hand out after classes, stay around college in the evenings, and do things at the student center and other student activities.

What about friends from high school, that are either not in college or go to college, call them up and ask them to do something.

Get involved with other activities besides partying. Look around and don't limit yourself to just class mates. Check the activities board to see what's available and what's happening.