My boyfriend Shane and I have been together for 4 years, I have 2 girls from previous marriage -they adore him and vise versa. He had a son with a girl when he was very young and her parents took custody because she was 16, he was 17 and they were not married. They moved out of state and asked him, "for the boys sake", not to try and contact them. It hurt Shane but he has no kind of family support, his parents are addicts, his mom in jail more than not, and her parents were good parents. So he did as they wished and there was no contact for 7 years. He told me all about it when we met and I kept my own counsel because it was a done deal and a very sore subject with Shane. He took my girls on like they were his, he is wonderful and a great dad.
About a year ago the ex girlfriend shows up at Shane's mom's with the son and says she made a mistake by keeping them apart and wants them to have a relationship. Shane was ecstatic and did everything she asked to see his son ( which included giving her $3000 that she got a boob job with). They had their visit at his mom's house, I didn't go because I didn't want things to be uncomfortable, and it went great. Shane came home so happy! But when the ex realized Shane was living with someone and had another family- she squashed the whole relationship thing after 2 visits. Shane was devastated and it took months for him to deal with it. Now she is remarried and back again about a year later saying the same things and once again Shane is on cloud 9. He says he will not give her anymore $ and will only meet with her if I go with him. She said OK, but I'm so leery of this woman and very worried for Shane, I don't want to see him hurt again. I'm all for a relationship between him and his son, he can only be an asset in this child's life. So do I just let him handle it and be supportive or do I yank this bee-otch up and have a woman to woman talk w/ her lol just kidding (kinda)
Oh and Shane's mom is just in the middle of all of it, constantly texting the ex, Shane and the whole family what she says and pictures of the little boy, posting stuff on Facebook and basically just right in the middle of everything, all day, everyday. I've ask her to stop and let us work this out w/o every move we make being public knowledge but she hasn't. I don't mean to make it seem like an after thought because it's a huge prob. Too but this is already so long... sorry

Let him handle his mom and his ex. You be there to support him in what he does.