What would be proper grounds to ask for supervised visitation when I go to court? Also if he does get visitation what would he be required to prove as far as living conditions and such?

What would be proper grounds to ask for supervised visitation when I go to court? Also if he does get visitation what would he be required to prove as far as living conditions and such??


What are your grounds to ask for supervised visitation? He's a threat to the children in some way? That's about the only basis to make such an argument. I've seen the argument that if the non-custodial parent takes the child there's no guarantee he/she will bring the child back, and the Court reminds both parties that there's a Court Order which directs the situation.

I don't know that he'll have to prove anything UNLESS there's a prior history of a problem.

I've never seen a "home check" required - unless there are allegations of neglect or abuse.

Long story short we went through relationship counseling(3 sessions) He admitted to taking prescription pills not in his name had a box of guns and bulletts on my bedroom floor (made him leave with them when I found that out) he has verbally abused me and my children. He is a pathological liar has had my children lie to me when those guns were purchased. I met with that counselor and she advised no contact with him for my sake until we go to court and try to get supervised visitations. He also had been looking up porn on the cell phones and the counselor thought I should mention that as well. I asked the counselor what her opinion of him was and she stated he sounds like a sociopath... Very scary it all adds up now he used me we made him look good. He has also had 3 speeding tickets this year alone going 20 to 30 miles over I got him out of the second one like a dummy but its over the jig is up. He has been staying with his sister who has a pill problem I do not trust him or his family just really confused as to what I should do. I have let my daughter talk to him over the phone but he has not taken her or came to my house to visit.

Long story short we went through relationship counseling(3 sessions) He admitted to taking prescription pills not in his name had a box of guns and bulletts on my bedroom floor (made him leave with them when I found that out) he has verbally abused me and my children. He is a pathological liar has had my children lie to me when those guns were purchased. I met with that counselor and she advised no contact with him for my sake until we go to court and try to get supervised visitations. He also had been looking up porn on the cell phones and the counselor thought I should mention that as well. I asked the counselor what her opinion of him was and she stated he sounds like a sociopath... Very scary it all adds up now he used me we made him look good. He has also had 3 speeding tickets this year alone going 20 to 30 miles over I got him out of the second one like a dummy but its over the jig is up. He has been staying with his sister who has a pill problem I do not trust him or his family just really confused as to what I should do. I have let my daughter talk to him over the phone but he has not taken her or came to my house to visit.


YIKES! If that's the condensed version I can only imagine what he's like in real life!

Yes, sounds like you can prove he's a danger to the child - and probably the rest of the World.

I think you are getting wise, educated advice. It's a matter of proof, of course, but it sounds like you can back things up.

Are you protected and safe? He sounds like a danger.

YIKES! If that's the condensed version I can only imagine what he's like in real life!

Yes, sounds like you can prove he's a danger to the child - and probably the rest of the World.

I think you are getting wise, educated advice. It's a matter of proof, of course, but it sounds like you can back things up.

Are you protected and safe? He sounds like a danger.

Yes we are safe for now I think he lost interest when he realized me finding all of this out. Pretty sure he had his next victim lined up and she is keeping him occupied thank goodness. He has lawyered up and I go see mine Friday going to meet with the counselor again today so just trying to keep my head up and protect my children. This is difficult though sometimes I feel like an obsessive crazy person but I think it is just the extremeness of the situation. Lol thank you

I think you need a new counselor as this one is out of line. Also things that were discussed in your sessions can not be brought up in court. They are supposed to be confidential and nuetral. Unless they have given psycological tsting to this person they can't make a determination of their full mental ability and it sounds as if they are putting ideas in your head. Its beyond ethical how they are manipulating you.

I think you need a new counselor as this one is out of line. Also things that were discussed in your sessions can not be brought up in court. They are supposed to be confidential and nuetral. Unless they have given psycological tsting to this person they can't make a determination of thier full mental ability and it sounds as if they are putting ideas in your head. Its beyond ethical how they are manipulating you.



I'd be curious how "they" got into couples counselling. When "we" went we both signed that the info could be exchanged with the other person - what I said, what he said.

No one, of course, diagnosed anyone with anything.

I don't like the labels - I saw the behavior, didn't "catch" the label on the husband.

Of course, no matter what the OP says she needs proof.

Long story short ...

Of the facts you mention, I can imagine a court using the following to find that the welfare of the children would require supervised visits:


taking prescription pills - if being under the influence of such pills could adversely affect his ability to look after the children
having a box of guns and amunition situated so that an unsupervised chlld could access a loaded firearm- but you didn't say that these guns were being kept in an unsafe manner.
verbal abuse of the children- perhaps.

Of the facts you mention, I can imagine a court using the following to find that the welfare of the children would require supervised visits:


taking prescription pills - if being under the influence of such pills could adversely affect his ability to look after the children
having a box of guns and amunition situated so that an unsupervised chlld could access a loaded firearm- but you didn't say that these guns were being kept in an unsafe manner.
verbal abuse of the children- perhaps.



Will 3 speeding tickets in a year "count"? I don't know -

Will 3 speeding tickets in a year "count"? I don't know -

Yes, of course. Sorry, missed that one.

Especially if the speed is 30 mph over the limit.

Let me see

In court.

"He told me he takes illegal drugs" his lawyer, what proof do you have, she says"he told me:

He gets on stand, lawyer, do you take illegal drugs, he says no. Before court he gets clean, he provides the court a test showing he has no illegal drugs in system.

And guns, how many members have guns, she says , when she found out, so they were not in the middle of the floor laying there, they must have been hidden somewhere, under the bed, in closet ? Not safest thing with kids around.

In court, did you have guns, he says yes? Lawyer, were they legal guns and were you expressing your legal right to own guns, he says yes. Lawyer asks, where do you keep your guns, he may even admit they were out once, he will say he has locks on all of his guns, and will even show a photograph of them with trigger locks.

Speeding tickets, as long as he has his license, not a issue.

Honestly, unless you can do better than this, with evidence of abuse and danger, I see if he has a good attorney, he can beat it.

The judge may order supervised visits for a while, but normally they review them to allow regular visits latter if he does OK. ( that is if you can even get supervised to start with)

No he does not have to prove anything about his home normally.

Yes, of course. Sorry, missed that one.

Especially if the speed is 30 mph over the limit.
He also made a call to the counselor threatening her on Monday. She said if subpenaed she would testify to these accusations.

I tend to agree this counselor has overstepped the bounds. I also agree with Chuck that all you have is hearsay that may not even be admissible in court.

You NEED an attorney to educate you what you can and can't say and can and can't use in court. If he has an attorney and you don't you will lose.

Of the facts you mention, I can imagine a court using the following to find that the welfare of the children would require supervised visits:


taking prescription pills - if being under the influence of such pills could adversely affect his ability to look after the children
having a box of guns and amunition situated so that an unsupervised chlld could access a loaded firearm- but you didn't say that these guns were being kept in an unsafe manner.
verbal abuse of the children- perhaps.

The guns were in a box yes with trigger locks but they also had the bullets in the box on the floor in my bedroom closet he also my 3 and 7 year old promise not to tell their mom(me) about the guns

The guns were in a box yes with trigger locks but they also had the bullets in the box on the floor in my bedroom closet he also my 3 and 7 year old promise not to tell their mom(me) about the guns

I'm going back to where we were - what can you prove?

I think driving 20-30 miles over the limit 3 times in one year shows carelessness and disrespect for the law.

If the guns have trigger locks and bullets are separate, I don't see that as an issue.

I think you are going to have to be very careful when you accuse him of bad behavior. If it's a lot of accusation and little to substantiate it it will turn back on you.

Without knowing more about your relationship (and his) with the therapist I don't have much of an opinion about what is and is not ethical - I do believe "his" threats to her show his temper and are admissible.

The guns were in a box yes with trigger locks but they also had the bullets in the box on the floor in my bedroom closet he also my 3 and 7 year old promise not to tell their mom(me) about the guns

I agree this is a non issue. If you bring this up in court and the judge is a gun owner, this would probably backfire.

Again, you said you were going to talk to your attorney. That is the one person who can best advise you of the quality and admissibility of your grounds.

Frankly, I don't see a lot here to guarantee supervised visits.

I agree this is a non issue. If you bring this up in court and the judge is a gun owner, this would probably backfire.

Again, you said you were going to talk to your attorney. That is the one person who can best advise you of the quality and admissability of your grounds.

Frankly, I don't see a lot here to guarantee supervised visits.
I know I don't have a lot of proof I do have a few text messages of him admitting to taking vicodens and I also have pics of the guns he took without the trigger locks. I just want what's best for my daughter. So I'm just trying to see what all options are here obviously there is a lot more to all of this but I appreciate all opinions and advice thank you all.

I know I dont have alot of proof I do have a few text messages of him admitting to taking vicodens and i also have pics of the guns he took without the trigger locks. I just want whats best for my daughter. So im just trying to see what all options are here obviously there is alot more to all of this but I appreciate all opinions and advice thank you all.


Situations like this are always a problem when it comes to advice - I get the feeling that your "gut" is telling you he's a danger to your daughter. I know you saw things, heard things, that concern you. The BUT in this is proof. Courts tend to get annoyed if it's a lot of "I think, I heard" and discount your "gut" feelings.

I think you have to concentrate on what you can prove (some guns didn't have trigger locks; that doesn't mean they were ever a danger that you can prove) and drop the things that you can't prove. Better to have three or four solid problems than 10 speculations.

Do you know what I'm saying?

And Scott (and everyone else) is right - an Attorney can guide you through this.