No actually it doesn't have anything to do with it she asked about her child not about herself. Her child's deserves a father who cares if she doesn't want to get married right now that child is connected to the boyfriend and if he wants to be a great father to her as well as his other daughters let him do so you so focused on the wrong thing the question is about the child and her needs are more important clearly he is going to be around they have two there kids together. I'm in the same boat I have a 14 month old daughter and her dad will not take care of her he is always going to jail its like he has changed since I was pregnanthe has another daughter and two on the way he just signed for two years again my boyfriend has beeen taking care of my daughter since she was two months and wants her to have his last name and wants her to be fully his she loves him so much and I'm very happy he wants to adopt her. Yes we plan on getting married but not for another year or so I don't want her dad around her period so I was going to ask the same question she asked

no actually it doesnt have anything to do with it she asked about her child not about herself. her childs deserves a father who cares if she doesnt want to get married right now that child is connected to the boyfriend and if he wants to be a great father to her as well as his other daughters let him do so yall so focused on the wrong thing the question is about the child and her needs are more important clearly he is going to be around they have two ther kids together. im in the same boat i have a 14 month old daughter and her dad will not take care of her he is always going to jail its like he has changed since i was pregnanthe has another daughter and two on the way he just signed for two years again my boyfriend has beeen taking care of my daughter since she was two months and wants her to have his last name and wants her to be fully his she loves him so much and im very happy he wants to adopt her. yes we plan on getting married but not for another year or so i dont want her dad around her period so i was going to ask the same question she asked


This is the family LAW board, not the "preach to us about good fathers and bad fathers" board. The LAW almost always requires that the couple be married - if they won't commit to each other are they committed to the child?

As far as this is concerned - "so focused on the wrong thing the question is about the child and her needs are more important clearly he is going to be around they have two ther kids together" first, that's not the law; second, apparently people who have "kids" together don't always stay together. That's the case with the person who asked the question AND it's your situation.

Do you know that if the child is calling the boyfriend "Dad" the Court - if the father files for visitation and/or custody - will use that AGAINST the mother who allows it?

At any rate - this is the legal board. Your post, while interesting, has nothing to do with the legal question that was asked.

First its not a good idea to piggyback your question on another thread. This can lead to confusion. So I've moved your question to its own thread.

In the other thread, the OP asked if she needed to be married and when asked why she doesn't get married, responded that it had nothing to do with the question. And that was what you are responding to.

But it has everything to do with the question because the LAW where the other posted lived requires that a couple be married for at least a year to qualify for a step parent adoption.

The OP did not ask about her child she asked about the law with respect to step parent adoptions. Sure her child deserves a father. The child deserves a father who will be there for her until she's an adult. Therefore, the law requires that such a person make a commitment to the mother as well as the child.

This is the Family Law forum and we are focused on exactly the RIGHT thing. Which is what the law provides.

Whether you want the dad around or not, is not an issue. What is at issue is what the law says about and the law is not going to terminate his rights unless you have someone ready to adopt the child. And that means fulfilling all the requirements of the law.

While you may not want to get married, that is your choice, in most areas, the courts will not allow an adoption, unless the couple is married. So if they want the adoption, they have to make a chocie. If they are not willing to marry, to the court it shows a lack of commitment.