I am 12 years old and I know it is beyond wrong to have sex at my age but me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 5 months and are planning to be together for awhile and I have a condom but am wondering what the health concerns are for someone my age to be doing this? PLEASE help me??

The major health concern is pregnancy since no form of birth control is 100% effective.

I think I am ready to take care of a baby so does my boyfriend :) we are both virgins so STD'S aren't a problem so if pregnancy is the only concern than YAY I can live with a baby :)

This really concerns me

planning to be together for awhile
While FIVE months may seem like a long time to you, a CHILD will be a lifetime.
There is a very sensible reason why underage sex is NOT allowed.
You MUST have a childhood to learn and grow.
SOP trying to run before you can merely crawl..

If your boyfriend is forcing you into something you are not comfortable with then he is NOT the one for you.
While you are going through massive changes during puberty, child bearing should NOT be one of them..

No, you aren't prepared to take care of a baby. You are still a child yourself. How can you afford a baby if you aren't even old enough to get s job.

Also, there are many risks, including seizures and death that are associated with pregnancy at your age. I deliver babies, I've seen it happen.

I know a child is for a lifetime I WANT a baby and we would be using protection anyway and it would only be a onetime thing...

Really?? But we would be using protection??

I know a child is for a lifetime i WANT a baby and we would be using protection anyway and it would only be a onetime thing....
Go and tell your father this and see what happens!!

Really??? but we would be using protection???

Protection doesn't guarantee you won't get pregnant. Many girls get pregnant using 2 or 3 forms of birth control correctly.

Being 'ready' to take care of a baby means money as well as learning how. You do not have the financial means to take care of a baby, period. AND... even more and more money for the next 18 years.
I doubt that you can comprehend 18 years of giving your time to caring for someone who is totally dependent on you. By the time you are 16, you will wish you were out with friends at movies and malls and walking down the street wondering who those cute guys are, but you will be watching every minute of with a rambunctious 3 year old - and cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, never mind all those years of thousands of diapers. By the time you are 20, you will by crying at home, dying to get out of the house for even an hour of your own. Does this even make any sense? What about a job or career or more school, a skill - whether hairdressing or carpentry or animal tech, day care helper, they ALL require training. You can't take a child back to the stork.

I suffer depression and school is my own personal second hell, a baby would HELP me and give me something to focus on in my destroyed life. I self harmed as well a baby would help me not to start again.

I know a child is for a lifetime i WANT a baby..

But you are suicidal? A baby at your age will only make that worse.

I know and I'm aware you can't return a baby. I suffer depression and taking care of a child would help me focus on it's life not mine. It would also help me make sure I don't start self harming again and I wouldn't try to kil myself again if I had a baby. Also my boyfriend is NOT forcing me into this.

I am suicidal a baby would stop me from trying to kill myself again though?

You really do NOT have a clue what is involved.
A baby into this mix will most likely push you over the edge, assuming you survive child birth.
YOU ARE DELUDED !!!

A new born is enough to test even the strongest person..
Do you really think your boyfriend would hang around ?
Or are you going to rely on your own parents to bail you out..

I suffer depression and taking care of a child would help me focus on it's life not mine. It would also help me make sure I don't start self harming again and I wouldn't try to kil myself again if I had a baby. Also my boyfriend is NOT forcing me into this.

No, it wouldn't help you. The hormones of pregnancy and new motherhood can actually cause depression, thus making yours worse.

It is clear that you have no idea of what you might be getting yourself into.

I am suicidal a baby would stop me from trying to kill myself again though??

Absolutely not! Many young mothers commit suicide because they didn't realize just how depressing being a young mother can be.

Also Curly ben yes my boyfriend would 'hang around' as he said himself he would support me and I know he wouldn't leave me if it was his child which it would be.

If I did commit suicide the world would be a better place. Even one of the comments said I was deluded I shouldn't be in this world.

If i did commit suicide the world would be a better place. Even one of the comments said I was deluded I shouldn't be in this world.

Then why are you wanting to have a baby?

I think you need to get yourself some counseling.

If i did commit suicide the world would be a better place. Even one of the comments said I was deluded I shouldn't be in this world.


You fit one of my favorite phrases - passive/aggressive.

So that I have this straight - your options in life are: commit suicide OR have a baby, right?

It is relatively amusing that you are here, in AMHD, giving advice, telling people how to solve their problems, deal with issues, and then over here with suicide threats.

I was getting counselling I stopped going 2 weeks ago. I am not going to try and get pregnant I meant if it happens I won't be upset. I know I need help that's why I came here I have been bullied everyday of my life since I was 3 . Having a baby would prove myself I'm worth something.

NO. Those aren't my two options I NEVER said that.

Having a baby would prove myself I'm worth something.
Far from it.
A baby at your age would prove something completely different,
And unrepeatable in decent company.

As I said earlier talk to your FATHER about this and see what he says.

I was deluded yesterday, thinking I was going to insulate my attic myself at age 65 with bad knees and no standing room up there (I crawled around for 5 minutes and gave up). Being 'deluded' doesn't mean crazy, although of course some crazy people are delusional.

It is just not mature thinking to believe that a baby will solve your grief. I assume that you didn't get the love a child should get and that is why you are suicidal. Girls who get pregnant to find the love they lack end up frustrated and angry that the baby needs, needs, needs, and doesn't give, give, give. Yes, the baby is dependent on your breast and holding and diaper changing. AND that total dependency turns into crying and being irritable and later getting out of hand when his needs aren't instantly met, and then you really will go crazy. It takes a LOT of strength to be a mother. You need many years just to gather what you weren't given by your parent or parents.

I was getting counselling I stopped going 2 weeks ago. I am not going to try and get pregnant I meant if it happens I won't be upset. I know I need help that's why I came here I have been bullied everyday of my life since I was 3 . Having a baby would prove myself I'm worth something.


I'm not going to argue with you - you apparently have some need for attention, even from on-line strangers, so I'll agree with you. Apparently your mind is made up and nothing is going to change it.

Any particular reason why you are being bullied and have been since age 3? I realize you cut - is that part of the problem. Hopefully you can stop that when you're pregnant. If not it will be interesting to see if the authorities step in and take your child because you are mentally unsound. If you feel worthless now, wait until you lose custody of your child.

Isn't today a school day? Why are you on line?

Oh, the boyfriend who is going to provide financial support for you and your baby - because the odds you will finish school are slim to none to it's a lifetime job for him - how old is he and what does he do for a living?

Having a baby would prove myself I'm worth something.

Wrong. Having a baby at your age would prove you are immature and ignorant.

You can't raise a baby at your age, your boyfriend will leave you... I promise that. You won't finish your education... etc. Should I go on?

To summarize


Hi I'm 12 and I am wondering is it okay to have sex at 12? - NO !