My Aunt always had a problem keeping a helper. She lives alone in her house and although she's still tough, she's getting old so she really needs one. She has kids but they all have their own family now but they always visit her especially during the weekends.

She can be nice to the helper but she easily gets mad and never a day went by without her saying mean things. Just one kind-hearted kid was able to stay for a few months. Everyone else wanted to leave after a few days. She even slapped one of them in the face.

Her youngest daughter already stopped looking for replacements.

My mom, her sister, never gave up sending one after another. It's been going on for at least two years now and I'm afraid it's always going to end up the same way.

I can see the stress it's causing everyone, my mom wouldn't say anything, she's not usually one to complain especially when it comes to family, her daughter is getting really exhausted and embarrassed, and my Aunt remains unhappy.

Whenever I visit, she's always bugging me about mom not visiting her. She's mostly happy when my mother's around that I'm beginning to think she's the solution to the problem. Mom said she treated her like her own daughter. But my mother lives too far away and neither of them wants to leave their own house for good.

How else do you think we can resolve this?

Not a thing, stay out of it and leave it alone, You visit and help and do what you feel you need to.

Some people are hateful at times, My mom would not keep someone one day normally.

Someone needs to tell her not to slap anyone, or she could end up in jail.

But she is going to be mean, that is how she is to others, obviously they are not doing it her way, or she really does not want a helper.

You can't make your mom visit if she does not want to

@ Fr_Chuck: Thanks for answering. I guess I'll visit more often and prepare what I'm going to say when she asks about Mom again. Haha. It's embarrassing that now you said it, it seems kind of obvious to me now. (facepalm)

I agree that you can do very little but visit and do the best that you can to make her happy while there.
But rather than kind hearted kids, has your family looked for assistants that have nursing background, or people that work with nursing agencies.
No doubt the elderly can get crotchety, some people have a knack for it, most do not.
The ones that have the knack do it because they love it and possess a certain ability to soothe the savage beast, so to say.