Okay, so I've been dating my girlfriend for two months, I recently moved to another state (around the beginning of our relationship) she still lives where I met her. So we use skype and text a lot. She broke up with her last boyfriend to be with me. She still sees him in school, and he was a real jerk about their break up, he yelled at her, got his friends to bully her online, and now he flat out ignores her.

She is really upset and she says it hurts to spend so much time with someone and they pretend she doesn't exist, and I can understand that. But I really hate thinking of her with other people, and she talks about her exes a lot. But that's not the end of it, after her six hour shift at work, she came out and said she was dissapointed that I didn't text her, because her old boyfriend did. That makes me feel really uncomfortable. She also still hangs out with her first serious boyfriend (who took her virginity which also urks me) and he treats her really badly, he also tries to kiss her every time they hang out. She cries about how they treat her but won't stop hanging out with them, I feel really uncomfortable and a little annoyed that I always get compared to them, she said she won't mention them if it makes me uncomfortable, but she doesn't know anyone else who will seriously listen to her and comfort her so I feel like I'm letting her down if I don't listen.

I'm really confused and don't know who needs to do something, or what to do. But I really love her and my top priority is to stay with her.

Okay, so I've been dating my girlfriend for two months, I recently moved to another state (around the beginning of our relationship) she still lives where I met her. So we use skype and text a lot. She broke up with her last boyfriend to be with me. She still sees him in school, and he was a real jerk about their break up, he yelled at her, got his friends to bully her online, and now he flat out ignores her. She is really upset and she says it hurts to spend so much time with someone and they pretend she doesn't exist, and I can understand that. But I really hate thinking of her with other people, and she talks about her exes a lot. But that's not the end of it, after her six hour shift at work, she came out and said she was dissapointed that I didn't text her, because her old boyfriend did. That makes me feel really uncomfortable. She also still hangs out with her first serious boyfriend (who took her virginity which also urks me) and he treats her really badly, he also tries to kiss her every time they hang out. She cries about how they treat her but won't stop hanging out with them, I feel really uncomfortable and a little annoyed that I always get compared to them, she said she won't mention them if it makes me uncomfortable, but she doesn't know anyone else who will seriously listen to her and comfort her so I feel like I'm letting her down if I don't listen. I'm really confused and don't know who needs to do something, or what to do. But I really love her and my top priority is to stay with her.


I'll make it short and sweet - she's playing you.

I don't know what type of reaction she wants or gets but apparently it "works" for her because her behavior doesn't change.

I'll make it short and sweet - she's playing you.

I don't know what type of reaction she wants or gets but apparently it "works" for her because her behavior doesn't change.

I think you got the wrong idea, we really love each other and we talk about everything, it's just I really don't know what to say when we talk about this. And I want to know how to maybe avoid the subject, or come to peace with myself.

I think you got the wrong idea, we really love eachother and we talk about everything, it's just I really don't know what to say when we talk about this. And I want to know how to maybe avoid the subject, or come to peace with myself.


I don't believe that a person who really loves you behaves in this manner: "She cries about how they treat her but won't stop hanging out with them, I feel really uncomfortable and a little annoyed that I always get compared to them, ..."

I don't know how to help you find peace. She knows this upsets you, but she doesn't stop the behavior.

I don't think that's a loving relationship.

The first priority is honesty in a relationship, not trying to stay together and go through this emotional BS! She is the one holding on to impossible friendships in failed relationships.

What she can't take a hint? Ask her why the hell she needs them when she has YOU! Gently of course, and remind her you are not into building a relationship with some one that cannot let go of the past.

You are not her long distance emotional tampon, or girlfriend! You are a boyfriend, so act like it. If she cannot accept your boundaries of good behavior, then you have no relationship, and you are an emotional tampon.

Tell her to get some new and better friends. I would.