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View Full Version : Need advice urgently!


AleexD
Sep 22, 2012, 02:49 AM
Hello, I'm 19 I'm married to my high school sweetheart and we have a 1 yr old son. Lately I've been having second thoughts about our marrige, things are fine between us but every time I see this old friend I have I just lose it, When I see his eyes I just wish he'd never had to leave. The feeling used to be mutual between my friend and I but since me and my husband got married he has respected our relationship. The thing is that I want to be with my friend all the time! He's such a positive person, always fun! Always so sweet and close to God I love that about him and I can tell that he doesn't mind me having a couple extra pounds :( On the other hand my husband does mind. And he's constantly nagging about my weight, my husband is a great guy! He respects me, he's been with me through good and bad. He loves me and I do too, but why do I keep thinking of my friend?

joypulv
Sep 22, 2012, 03:04 AM
It's normal enough to think of others in a romantic or sexual way throughout a marriage or any relationship. It's probably even healthy. It can help add to the marriage, because it fills in the gaps as you get a little bored with each other and because two people can't possible fill every single need and desire each other has.

It isn't good when fantasy goes too far into reality. Only you know if you have gone too far. You have to ask yourself what is most important to you, realizing that we all have to make choices in life that mean dropping one thing we want. We can't have it both ways. I'm a little confused about your sentence putting what a great guy your husband is with his nagging about your weight. You're glad that he nags you? If so, do something about your weight. If not, tell him to stop. I'm overweight and I don't like it.
You also have Responsibility, your SON! You shouldn't play musical chairs the way other 19 year olds are doing with relationships. You gave up that right when you got pregnant.

talaniman
Sep 22, 2012, 03:55 PM
Your feelings are normal and as long as you keep your fantasies to yourself and don't act on those feelings you will be fine, and they will eventually pass.

Don't cross the lines of good behavior is what you keep in mind.