View Full Version : Nervous break down about getting married in jail.
salutelaflaka
Sep 19, 2012, 03:03 PM
I don't know what to do. He's been my boyfriend since I was 14. I am now 18. My boyfriend is in jail and doing a couple of years. We have been wanting to tie the knot for a couple of months before he got locked up, we were engaged since I was 17. His bright idea is to get married in jail now. Should I? I'm all nervous, I have a knot in my throat.
Although we were already living together and everything was perfect until he got incarcerated, people that I know have convinced me to try to leave him talking about how he would be different when he gets out. We have to live our lives. He just wants to rush me because he's in there, and another had said he's just wants to make sure we are official or what not.
Honestly I don't know what or who to believe. So this is why I I'm posting this question, I want to know the opinion of someone who I do not know, what should I do?
joypulv
Sep 19, 2012, 03:11 PM
Convince him that you want a nice wedding ceremony, outside of a jail.
He's worried about you being attracted to someone else. Maybe he wants conjugal visits.
You may get distracted, you may not, but don't get married now.
odinn7
Sep 19, 2012, 03:20 PM
Getting married now is a mistake... tell him you need to wait.
Wondergirl
Sep 19, 2012, 03:22 PM
I vote no. You want your friends and family at your wedding. You want it in a church or some special place (not a prison/jail). He may change during his incarceration, so you need unmarried time with him after his release to make sure he is still the same guy you love.
salutelaflaka
Sep 19, 2012, 03:26 PM
Convince him that you want a nice wedding ceremony, outside of a jail.
He's worried about you being attracted to someone else. Maybe he wants conjugal visits.
You may get distracted, you may not, but don't get married now.
He wants both a outside and inside ceremony. He says we shouldn't let what he's done stop us from what we have planned. My answer was you should have thought about it. However, I do believe he feels insecure, he stated if I really love him like I say I do that I would do it. Honestly I wouldn't mind but I do not want to be used in anyway , although I highly doubt he would ever. Maybe its just these people trying to minipulate me. There opinions are honestly really confusing me =/
Getting married now is a mistake...tell him you need to wait.
Im starting to think so too, thanks :)
Wondergirl
Sep 19, 2012, 03:30 PM
He said, "if you really me love me like you say you do, you would do it." Then you say, "if you really me love me like you say you do, you would wait until you are free."
Marrying someone in jail is not a memory I would want to carry through the rest of my life and tell my children about.
Don't want to do the time and all the restrictions that go with it? Don't do the crime.
salutelaflaka
Sep 19, 2012, 03:35 PM
He said, "if you really me love me like you say you do, you would do it." Then you say, "if you really me love me like you say you do, you would wait until you are free."
Marrying someone in jail is not a memory I would want to carry through the rest of my life and tell my children about.
Don't want to do the time and all the restrictions that go with it? Don't do the crime.
Your right. I do love him and all that mushy stuff but I don't think we need to rush this. If he does love me he will wait and if we are meant to be nothing should go wrong,
As long as I'm there I guess that's all that matters. I guess this just puts a pause to our relationship so I can finish getting my life together, although he was helping me out. But I can do it on my own, we don't need conjugal visits. As long as I'm there helping with emotional support :) , thank you everyone I was literally going crazy thinking about this. =)
Wondergirl
Sep 19, 2012, 03:44 PM
As long as im there i guess thats all that matters. I guess this just puts a pause to our relationship so i can finish getting my life together, although he was helping me out. But i can do it on my own, we dont need conjugal visits. As long as im there helping with emotional support :) , thank you everyone i was literally going crazy thinking about this. =)
Hugs to you. You are smart to wait until he is out and has shown himself to be responsible and having self control.
salutelaflaka
Sep 19, 2012, 03:55 PM
Hugs as well:) thanks. I will wait although I will feel a little guilty for the fact that he had gotten incarcerated because he was defending me. Makes me feel a little bad. But I guess its best for me.
Wondergirl
Sep 19, 2012, 03:56 PM
Hugs as well:) thanks. I will wait although i will feel alittle guilty for the fact that he had gotten incarcerated because he was defending me. Makes me feel alittle bad. But i guess its best for me.
What had happened?