Let's start from the beginning, I'm a 23 year old virgin living in a small town. As a kid I was really really fat, and at the age of 18 I was diagnosed with diabetes. This made me change my lifestyle quite drastically, I had to change my diet and I have to eat regularly on the hour. I also started to workout, either going to the gym, jogging or swimming. I'm not the fittest guy in the world and I don't have a six-pack but I'm not the fat kid anynore and I know logically that I'm at least decent looking. But I still have problems looking in the mirror since all I see is that ugly fat guy I used to be.

When I was 19 I went to a party with a couple of friends where I meet a girl. We had a lot of fun talking and I could tell she was intrestead in me. We decided to leave the party and go skinny dipping at the beach, I was really nervouse about it since I'm not what you would call well endowed (5.5 inches). But on our way to the beach she gave me my first kiss and we stopped several times to make out, and I felt like I started to lose control over what I was doing. The thing is she was kind of drunk, (not falling over drunk but definitely not sober) I on the other hand because of my diabetes can't drink alcohol anymore. Before we started skinny dipping I asked her if she wanted to stop since she had been drinking and I was sober, she answerd me by taking of all her clothes and after that my brain wouldn't let my resist. I still feel guilty about it because some part of me feel like I took advantage of her, but I couldn't helpmyself. I had never been so happy in my life, kissing a girl that was sitting naked on my lap while in the water. Because her and my friend was with us we didn't go all the way, but I didn't care. I tried contacting her a couple of days later and then she told me it was a nice evening but she didn't want to meet me. She also told me the reason was that I wasn't a good kisser and that she didn't want to teach me, when I told her she was my first kiss. Have u ever felt guilty for hooking up with or kissing a drunk girl when u where sober?

That really didn't help my confidence and to make matters worse I had developed a chronic condition called prostatitis which basically means almost every time I pee it feels like I'm peeing acid. And after an orgasm there is a 50/50 chance I will experience extreme pain. All this had made me really shy, and then I started my last year of high school. I actually got a couple of girl friends and I started to fall for a girl in my class. We could talk for hours everyday, but she had a boyfriend so I didn't want to cross that line. When see broke up with him I wanted to tell her how I felt but I was to late, after a month she started to date a good friend of mine. The rest of the school year went by with the love of my life being too far away. At the end of the school year I couldn't take it anymore, I told her how I felt. I said I didn't expect anything I just had to tell her, she was the first girl I had ever loved. Let's just say that not only didn't she respond to my feelings, but I lost one of the best friends I've ever had. That really made me feel guilty, and the thought of ever telling a girl how I feel really scares me.

I've always been kind of a nerdy guy, playing video games and reading comics etc. And it's really clear if u come to my home that I'm a nerd. I'm almost like lenoard from the big bang theory expect I'm not that smart. So if I ever get a girlfriend there are something's about me she is just going to have to accept. But because of all of my other problems, I just wouldn't feel right about subjecting someone to the pain I have to live with everyday. There has been other girls and even some grown women that has come on to me, but I've been to scared about my kissing, being a virgin I know I'm going to suck, because of my size, the chance of pain, and I will probably not last long. And being a virgin for so long I don't feel like it would be right to lose it to some random drunk girl. I'm not saving myself for marrige or anything like that, but I would like to at least have known the girl for more then five seconds. I recently met a gir that I thought could be perfect for me, we went out for a couple of times on what I thought were dates, but a couple of days ago she changed her Facebook status to in a releationship with a guy I know.

What kind of tips do u have for a guy like me to actually get a girlfriend? a part of my feel like I don't deserve it, but I'm tired of being misrable, I want to be happy. I might get to a point where I will get desparet enough to just hook up with some random girl and pretend she cares about me but I'm not there yet. My birthday is coming up soon though and being without psyhical contact for so long is starting to get really hard. I just want a girl to share my life with, cuddle up in bed, and telling me she loves me. I had a dream about this recent girl last night and I woke up crying like a baby, it felt so good for a second to believe that someone was holding me and caring about me. I've actually considered going to a prostitute, not for sex, but just laying on a bed and holding each other. Should I just find some random girl to "train" with? So that I'm ready if I ever find someone that can love a guy like me. Cause honestly sex scares me, but I don't want to be bad if I find the right girl.

Sorry for potential bad grammar, I'm on pain meds atm.

No, you need to start dating, and find the right girl, with the right girl, learning is fun and will be expected. You get known for hiring hookers, if you don't catch something to make it fall off, if word gets out, you will be the perverted nerd that no one will want.

You don't date because of self image, spend your money getting counsoling not hookers.

Learn to start dating by asking about every girl you meet out.

After my divorce, I was middle age, fat, bad leg, appear blind in one eye, arm seriously scared. Guess what dated girls 1/2 my age, dated one 20 year old, that was more than 1/2.
Dated some my age and so on, This was in a town of less than 3000 people, so just as in how you are, size does not matter. Few women climax from actual intercourse it is foreplay and oral that often makes it, and guess what, every women is different there, so the one you are with has to tell you how they like it, you have to learn over on each women normally anyway.

So you start with girls where you buy your gas or lottery tickets, the check out at the suppermarket, go to the motorcycle shop and look around a couple times, ask out a clerk or secretary there. Know any that are police officers or correctional officers, they often have a harder time guys seem scared of them.

I made it a point to ask at least one lady a day, and soon I was dating Fri and Sat (often not the same girl) Where they all pretty, nope, no confidence, start with the ugly ones first, sad most are wonderful but don't get asked out a lot.

Are there some girls from your class never married, or now divorced, call and ask them out for coffee or a pizza or to watch cows get tipped, ( what ever you do in small town for fun)

Fr_Chuck is right -- date them all, fat or skinny or tall or short or weird or normal. And dates can be going to Dairy Queen, picking berries or cherries for apples or fun or profit (I grew up in dairy farm and orchard country), getting a cup of coffee and a slice of pie at the diner (and dancing to jukebox music?), even going to church together or to a church activity. You don't have to spend tons of money to have fun. The main thing is to put her first and think about her experience of having fun on this date. In that way, you will worry less about yourself.

The love of my life was a nerd and a virgin, and I met him when he was 25 and I was 32. He was a lot like you, including having had medical problems when young (I think it was pernicious anemia). He was pale and scrawny and lonely and depressed, but was a grad student at MIT. I could write the Big Bang Theory in my sleep.
Anyway, he came in a store where I worked and was shy, but managed to be friendly. That was the killer combination for me, and I fell for him pretty fast. He changed a lot about his looks for me (hair, glasses, beard) and learned how to be a much more sociable person with years of patience on my part. So then 13 years later... he dumped me for a super gorgeous woman who was not only younger than I but also younger than he.
What conclusion can be drawn? None, really, we are all different. Take my story for what you want - you are not alone, there's hope for guys like you, a little friendliness goes a long way? Even after he dumped me, he didn't end up with that particular woman, in fact, she was leading him on. He went out with a lot of women before finding another one. Maybe there's something in that tale too.
Good luck.
If you think you are getting dumped because of something wrong with the way you treat relationships early on, rather than just the odds of two people meshing well, say so, and maybe we can help.

The love of my life was a nerd and a virgin, and I met him when he was 25 and I was 32. He was a lot like you, including having had medical problems when young (I think it was pernicious anemia). He was pale and scrawny and lonely and depressed, but was a grad student at MIT. I could write the Big Bang Theory in my sleep.
Funny story, Joy! And I married Sheldon Cooper 45 years ago. You and I should go out for pie and coffee some day.

Why did I think this was a possibility as I typed it? Somehow I knew...
OK to the pie and coffee.
I met my nerd in 1979, 33 years ago. He was extremely nerdy, but had one trait none of the guys on TV have: he never ever pontificated, and was always very patient about explaining concepts. Didn't stop me from bursting into tears when I didn't understand anyway.
We were married for part of the 13 years. It was fun being around him and his friends while they wrote Zork. It was fun being around early internet and early PCs. 45 years ago? Somewhere between UNIVAC and IBM mainframes?

I met my nerd in 1979, 33 years ago. He was extremely nerdy, but had one trait none of the guys on TV have: he never ever pontificated, and was always very patient about explaining concepts. Didn't stop me from bursting into tears when I didn't understand anyway.
We were married for part of the 13 years. It was fun being around him and his friends while they wrote Zork. It was fun being around early internet and early PCs. 45 years ago? Somewhere between UNIVAC and IBM mainframes?
Zork?? I loved Zork and played it on my kids' Atari until the wee hours. Let me touch your arm for luck! Wow!

My nerd can repair anything, have never had a repairman here ever. Our clothes dryer is nearly 42 years old. The refrigerator and stove are 30-something. Long ago I stopped looking at appliance ads.

The OP (original poster) has a terrific life ahead of him, so yes, date 'em all!

Are you reading this, christian90z? Women do like nerds, back before it was fashionable like Wondergirl and I did, and nowadays. You sound like a guy who will meet the right woman. Just continue to be friendly.

My dad was a dear nerd too. Another of the nice guys, quiet and unassuming. Could fix anything too.

I actually met someone mid November, like me she didn't have it easy growing up. She have some health problems like I do (clearly not the same thing) and we shared a lot of the same intrests. I know it was to early to tell, but within the first couple of days, I pretty much knew she was the one I wanted to lose my virginity to. But I knew I would have to tell her all the spesifics of my health problems before anything could happen.

She early figured out that I was not used to this kind of stuff, and after a couple of weeks she asked me if I was a virgin and I told her yes. She had been so open and honest about her life and experiences good and bad, so when she asked me if I was saving myself or if there was a spesific reason I decided to do the same and tell her the truth about everything. She said that she understood and there was no rush. We were both busy with work the last couple of days so we didn't see each other, but it gave me time to think. And I was just more and more convinced that she was the girl I had been waiting for. Then comes to fun part that sounds like it came out of a f*****g movie, I take all the preporcusions I can possibly take and drive over to her apartment and catch her having sex with her ex.

She then apologises for me having to find out that way, but tells me that sex is a very important part in a relationship for her, and she didn't know if she could handle all the humps and work it would take to get it to maybe work out. I tell her that I understand, and that honestly I wouldn't want to go out with me either, I'm just too screwed up. It hurt like hell, but we weren't in a compited relationship or whatever, so I really couldn't be too mad.

And she should count herself lucky that she didn't go for me, around christmas I got an infection that made everything worse. Meaning I'm now pretty much in chronic pain 24/7, I have to use pain meds everyday regularly just to be able to half way function, and I've had to up the doses drastically and I'm still in some form of uncomfort. Last time I had an orgasm I ended up in the E.R. where they had to give me morphine to get the pain to go away and I for the first time since what feels like forever slept longer then 2-3 hours at a time. I am damaged goods and I always will be.

Which is why I've decided to save up money to go to amsterdam, I'm going to numb myself with drugs, buy a high end escort to give me the girlfriend experience, pretending that she loves me, lose my virginity, and after that I'm not sure how much more I can take and how long I will go on for. One thing is for sure, I can't wait for the legalization of the medicin my doctor has told me could possibly help