I left the room to say good bye to another couple when I came back maybe 5 min later I caught my best friend and husband kissing. She says she made a drunken mistake and apparently very upset prob cause I called and told her husband what she did! I refuse to forgive her but do I give my husband another chance? We have been married along time and have kids!

Hello B:

Yup, you were betrayed all right, but by your HUSBAND, not your best friend... Did SHE ever commit to you?? I'm blown away by you women who give your men a pass but go after some chick...

excon

Hello B:

Yup, you were betrayed all right, but by your HUSBAND, not your best friend... Did SHE ever commit to you??? I'm blown away by you women who give your men a pass but go after some chick...
excon

Well don't you think the chick shouldn't have made a move?

Well dont you think the chick shouldn't have made a move?Hello z:

Even if she did, the husband CAN say no... Do you think men are incapable of refusing sex??

excon

He isn't getting a pass just not sure if I should throw in the towel or not with him too?

Hello z:

Even if she did, the husband CAN say no... Do you think men are incapable of refusing sex???

excon

Well still you shouldn't leave him especially if you have kids with him I mean everybody is entitled to a mistake in their life

Since alcohol was involved and you said your friend was drunk (and maybe hubby too?), I certainly would take that into consideration -- along with the children and house and family solidarity and years of marriage -- before I'd kick him to the curb.

Since alcohol was involved and you said your friend was drunk (and maybe hubby too?), I certainly would take that into consideration -- along with the children and house and family solidarity and years of marriage -- before I'd kick him to the curb.

I'd take the alcohol and drunkenness into consideration, but to me that makes it even worse. Most times people do things they've wanted to do for a long time, but were too afraid to do, when they're drunk.

If you give him a pass then what happens the next time? Does he then say "but honey, I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing?"

I don't think I'd give up on the marriage over a kiss. I would definitely seek marriage counseling over it, and maybe alcohol treatment for the husband that can't seem to keep his lips to himself when he's drunk, and knows that his wife is in the next room.

At least he's not very good at cheating. That's a good thing. :)

Well dont you think the chick shouldn't have made a move?


The chick made no promises to you. The weakwilled husband did.

I always post that I'm amazed - two women, one man, and the women turn on each other.

The chick made no promises to you. The weakwilled husband did.

I always post that I'm amazed - two women, one man, and the women turn on each other.

I agree! And the man, that's just as guilty, is forgiven.

Not that the OP shouldn't forgive her husband. But, if she does, then she should also be able to forgive the woman. The woman isn't married to the OP. The husband is. He's by far the more guilty of the two.

I left the room to say good bye to another couple when I came back maybe 5 min later I caught my best friend and husband kissing. She says she made a drunken mistake and apparently very upset prob cause I called and told her husband what she did! I refuse to forgive her but do I give my husband another chance? We have been married along time and have kids!


I just noticed that OP also attempted to cause the best friend's marriage to implode.

Revenge is never a good idea -

Wow. An adult, married a long time with kids, went after the other woman. First problem is that if there is anything between husband and best friend, best friend very could now be single.

Not smart.

Yes a kiss does not happen from one person, she forgives husband but not friend. Silly, I guess when they do more, it will still be the women's fault. I know a lot of men that wish their wives would have believed that story

Hello B:

Yup, you were betrayed all right, but by your HUSBAND, not your best friend... Did SHE ever commit to you??? I'm blown away by you women who give your men a pass but go after some chick...

excon

Then you haven't me... because I would be NOT give him a pass.

Definitely time for some counseling. Hoping you and your husband can get past this mistake. But, if it ever happened again, no more chances.

Then you haven't me....because I would be NOT give him a pass.

I have to say, I would likely let one kiss slip. I'd make him and my friend pay for it for the rest of their lives, because that's me, but I'd likely stay with him. It's just a kiss.

If my husband had sex with another woman... well, I have a big yard, a shovel, and I doubt anyone would miss him. ;)

I have to say, I would likely let one kiss slip. I'd make him and my friend pay for it for the rest of their lives, because that's me, but I'd likely stay with him. It's just a kiss.

If my husband had sex with another woman....well, I have a big yard, a shovel, and I doubt anyone would miss him. ;)


I walk in on them kissing? I'd be using the shovel now. I wouldn't make that "mistake." I don't expect that my husband would.

Yes, he would be gone. No second chances.

I walk in on them kissing? I'd be using the shovel now. I wouldn't make that "mistake." I don't expect that my husband would.

Yes, he would be gone. No second chances.

Okay, to be fair, if I walked in on them kissing, both of them would be bruised, battered, and a hole or two may be dug. For flowers! I swear it! ;)

But, if the kiss happened, and I found out, I think I could forgive. Sex? No! I know I couldn't forgive that. I don't even want to test my theory on the kiss. Sex I know for sure I couldn't forgive.

Fact is, I know my husband. I'll never had to find out first hand what I'd do. Nor will he.

I can only guess at what I would do, knowing myself and how I'd react. But, it's not something I'll ever have to face. That's not the type of husband I have, and I'd bet my life on that. He's too damn lazy to have an affair! It's too much work! :)

Well dont you think the chick shouldn't have made a move?
She was drunk and she apologized. What was your husband's excuse. He is the one who made a commitment to you. Why did he not push her away?

I just noticed that OP also attempted to cause the best friend's marriage to implode.

Revenge is never a good idea -

Wow. An adult, married a long time with kids, went after the other woman. First problem is that if there is anything between husband and best friend, best friend very possibly could now be single.

Not smart.
Yeah, she ruined that marriage but hung on to her husband who did not push the woman away. Makes no sense.

Yeah, she ruined that marriage but hung on to her husband who did not push the woman away. Makes no sense.

Exactly.

But, women can be vindictive. We tend to forgive the father of our children, and not realize that they're just as guilty as the best friend. Or that's what it seems like. Never been in that situation myself, and don't plan to be. :)

Yeah, she ruined that marriage but hung on to her husband who did not push the woman away. Makes no sense.

And let's just pretend for a second that OP did not come into the room when she did. Then what?

In fact, let's say that OP went upstairs to take a shower... then what would have happened? The ONLY reason why they stopped, is because they got caught.

I have been tipsy around friends, hell even single friends, and still I behaved. So for them to act on it only means they have thought about it before.

If I'm wrong, and I have been wrong before, then Alty, you may bury me in the hole you dug up. :)

And let's just pretend for a second that OP did not come into the room when she did. Then what?

In fact, let's say that OP went upstairs to take a shower....then what would have happened? The ONLY reason why they stopped, is because they got caught.

I have been tipsy around friends, hell even single friends, and still I behaved. So for them to act on it only means they have thought about it before.

If I'm wrong, and I have been wrong before, then Alty, you may bury me in the hole you dug up. :)

Alty won't be digging any Enigma holes, because Alty agrees 100% and then some.

This happened because they wanted it to happen. Both of them wanted it to happen. You don't get caught kissing someone unless you want to be kissed by that someone.

They're both at fault. Forgive one, that means you have to forgive the other. Condemn one means that you have to condemn the other, no matter how long you've been together, or how many kids you have.

One thing I do find very telling. The OP never said "I want to forgive him because I love him". She only said she'd forgive because they've been together a long time and have kids together. Is there love? Doesn't sound like it. Maybe that's why hubby was kissing someone else. Just a thought.

Alty won't be digging any Enigma holes, because Alty agrees 100% and then some.

This happened because they wanted it to happen. Both of them wanted it to happen. You don't get caught kissing someone unless you want to be kissed by that someone.

They're both at fault. Forgive one, that means you have to forgive the other. Condemn one means that you have to condemn the other, no matter how long you've been together, or how many kids you have.

One thing I do find very telling. The OP never said "I want to forgive him because I love him". She only said she'd forgive because they've been together a long time and have kids together. Is there love? Doesn't sound like it. Maybe that's why hubby was kissing someone else. Just a thought.

And a great thought at that!