Bbrown2187
Sep 11, 2012, 09:18 PM
Allright here we go,
Firstly, I am 25 and my girlfriend is 23. We started dating when I was 23, she was 21. We have had the most amazing supportive and loving relationship I could ever ask for. I was convinced (still am) this was THE girl. The one I would spend the rest of my life with. She loved my fiends, I loved hers, and both our families could not be happier in our choices for each other. We had been dating the last 2.5 years and recently came to terms that our relationship had become too comfortable. We had a conversation over dinner one night where she said that she was thinking about doing volunteer work in Thailand, and when I asked where I fit into that she said "I dont know" and that "I think I need to work on me right now" Im not sure if she used this whole Thailand thing as a way of initiating the "maybe we should take a break" but regardless, we semi "broke up" that night. Now I'm not saying this came from no where, our relationship had been a little rocky the last couple months, and I blame myself for not seeing a lot of red flags and warning signs that she wasn't happy with everything.
At first I thought maybe it was for the best, maybe we needed time apart, but when I woke up the next morning, I was a wreck. Took 2 days to drag myself back to work, and it wasn't until Friday (break up happened Tuesday) that radio silence finally broke and we agreed to meet. The conversation went very well. She cried, I cried, and even though I wanted to try to fix the relationship, she kept coming back to "we need time for ourselves" Im not saying I disagree with what she was saying, but it was so hard to hear that she did not even want to give it a chance after 2.5 years. There were things both of us did not 100% agree on, and of course there were things that probably both of us could change to better the relationship, but she didn't want to budge.
So I had to accept that decision (really sucked). The worst I could do is fight over it when she thinks her mind is made up. I decided to drive home which is an hour away to be with friends and family as I was still a wreck. On the way there I get a text from her saying that she loved me, I was the most caring loving boyfriend she could ever ask for. She wants our relationship to work but again "wants to work on her". I texted her back saying I understood and if time is what she needs then I will respect that. Friday night passed... until 3 AM when she called me crying her eyes out telling me how much she loved me and missed me and hoped I understood why she needed to make this decision. Again I told her if time is what she needs that I will respect that. I still didn't agree with the decision, and wanted to fix things...
So the weekend passed, we occasionally talked on Facebook or text. Very friendly. Monday passed, with no contact, and then Tuesday (today) I get a call from her at 3:30 PM crying her eyes out telling me her heart was hurting and she needed to see me. She wanted to talk about things. Im not going to lie of course I was hopeful, (this is the girl of my dreams I'm talking about, my rock, my everything) I went to her house where we laid in bed cuddling, talking, being anything but negative. We talked about us, ourselves and what the right decision was. She knew my stance, but held to hers no matter what I said. We ultimately agreed that time apart to work on ourselves may overall strengthen our relationship, and we are not dismissing the possibility that there is still a chance for us to reconnect in the future.
So that is where I am at now, we parted as I guess "a little more than friends." We still are deeply in love with each other and want the best for each other. We still plan to keep in contact and I plan to give her the time she needs no matter how long so that not only she can work on her, but I can work on me.
So I guess my question is am I an idiot for letting this happen? Should I have fought harder to fix things? I want to respect her decision and not make things worse and give her the time she needs, but are all of the sappy texts and calls from her hints that her second thoughts were bigger than she let on?
Should I cut off all communication? Lots of emotions running in my head right now.
Thanks
Firstly, I am 25 and my girlfriend is 23. We started dating when I was 23, she was 21. We have had the most amazing supportive and loving relationship I could ever ask for. I was convinced (still am) this was THE girl. The one I would spend the rest of my life with. She loved my fiends, I loved hers, and both our families could not be happier in our choices for each other. We had been dating the last 2.5 years and recently came to terms that our relationship had become too comfortable. We had a conversation over dinner one night where she said that she was thinking about doing volunteer work in Thailand, and when I asked where I fit into that she said "I dont know" and that "I think I need to work on me right now" Im not sure if she used this whole Thailand thing as a way of initiating the "maybe we should take a break" but regardless, we semi "broke up" that night. Now I'm not saying this came from no where, our relationship had been a little rocky the last couple months, and I blame myself for not seeing a lot of red flags and warning signs that she wasn't happy with everything.
At first I thought maybe it was for the best, maybe we needed time apart, but when I woke up the next morning, I was a wreck. Took 2 days to drag myself back to work, and it wasn't until Friday (break up happened Tuesday) that radio silence finally broke and we agreed to meet. The conversation went very well. She cried, I cried, and even though I wanted to try to fix the relationship, she kept coming back to "we need time for ourselves" Im not saying I disagree with what she was saying, but it was so hard to hear that she did not even want to give it a chance after 2.5 years. There were things both of us did not 100% agree on, and of course there were things that probably both of us could change to better the relationship, but she didn't want to budge.
So I had to accept that decision (really sucked). The worst I could do is fight over it when she thinks her mind is made up. I decided to drive home which is an hour away to be with friends and family as I was still a wreck. On the way there I get a text from her saying that she loved me, I was the most caring loving boyfriend she could ever ask for. She wants our relationship to work but again "wants to work on her". I texted her back saying I understood and if time is what she needs then I will respect that. Friday night passed... until 3 AM when she called me crying her eyes out telling me how much she loved me and missed me and hoped I understood why she needed to make this decision. Again I told her if time is what she needs that I will respect that. I still didn't agree with the decision, and wanted to fix things...
So the weekend passed, we occasionally talked on Facebook or text. Very friendly. Monday passed, with no contact, and then Tuesday (today) I get a call from her at 3:30 PM crying her eyes out telling me her heart was hurting and she needed to see me. She wanted to talk about things. Im not going to lie of course I was hopeful, (this is the girl of my dreams I'm talking about, my rock, my everything) I went to her house where we laid in bed cuddling, talking, being anything but negative. We talked about us, ourselves and what the right decision was. She knew my stance, but held to hers no matter what I said. We ultimately agreed that time apart to work on ourselves may overall strengthen our relationship, and we are not dismissing the possibility that there is still a chance for us to reconnect in the future.
So that is where I am at now, we parted as I guess "a little more than friends." We still are deeply in love with each other and want the best for each other. We still plan to keep in contact and I plan to give her the time she needs no matter how long so that not only she can work on her, but I can work on me.
So I guess my question is am I an idiot for letting this happen? Should I have fought harder to fix things? I want to respect her decision and not make things worse and give her the time she needs, but are all of the sappy texts and calls from her hints that her second thoughts were bigger than she let on?
Should I cut off all communication? Lots of emotions running in my head right now.
Thanks