I recently found out that a child I claimed as my own is not mine. Depsite this fact, and despite the fact that I offered her mother a reasonable amount of child support for the little girl, the mother is now coming after me for child support in an amount that very well could ruin me if she is granted it. My name is on the birth certificate and where I live (New Brunswick, Canada) my chances are iffy on getting out from under support even if I go to court with a legally recognized DNA test in hand proving I am not the father, which I have.

I have tried numerous times to reason with the mother and even offered to go to mediation. Because of the way the laws are structured, the mother knows she has the upper hand is is refusing to compromise. I do realize that even if I can terminate my parental rights to the child I may still have to pay support for her but, I want to send this woman a clear message that I am done acting in the capacity of a father to her child with another man. The bio dad is now in the picture, I have not resided in the same house or even the same province with the child since 2008 and she is being raised by the mothers boyfriend. However, that does not stop the mother from allowing the child to contact me and my extended family for the sole purpose of being insulting towards me because her mother hates me. The child thinks of me as her father and I understand she is upset. I wish I could do something for her but, I have been advised not to have any further contact with her in order to have the best case possible for court and I made it clear to her mother that this was what was going to happen if she kept on pushing for more money.

I am hoping that if I relinquish my parental rights to this child legally it will force her mother to stop harassing me and by extension, my extended family by winding the little girl up all the time and then putting her in contact with us. It is not just myself or my family that suffers when she does that because things are then said to the child that no child should have to hear. As long as this woman thinks she is hurting me by keeping the child upset and crying to me and my family about all of this she will keep on doing it regardless of the emotional price everyone, including her daughter, is being forced to pay.

What is the process for voluntary termination of parental rights in a non-adoption type situation? Can I even terminate my parental rights when I am not the birth father but, my name is on the birth certificate?

I wish I could do something for her but, I have been advised not to have any further contact with her in order to have the best case possible for court and I made it clear to her mother that this was what was going to happen if she kept on pushing for more money.


If this is the legal advice you have received from someone who has far more information about the Law and your situation, I would go back to that person and ask these questions.

I am surprised that an Attorney told you to turn your back on a child who thinks you are her father.

- but, again, the Attorney is far more familiar with the situation and the law than anyone on AMHD.

Poor child, the dad who had claimed her is now rejecting them and trying to disown them.

You will have to do this though the court, to get your name off the birth certificate, it will be done by the laws of your province. If you don't have one, you will need an attorney to have any chance of winning. ( sorry the laws are not done for the benefit of the common person)

If you get off the birth certificate because of paternity you will not owe any support,

if not, you should *( and should have all along) keep in contact with the child who you are the legal father of.

But support is not what you what it to be, or what she wants it to be, but it will be set by the law of your province at a fair amount decided by the court, if you think it is too much, sorry, but that is just how it is.

Your message to the mother has no effect on her, she just wants your money, but your message tells me and others a lot about you and your values toward a innocent child that you had claimed and raised for a while

I couldn't find the specific laws that refer to challenging paternity in New Brunswick. I did find these two sites that might help you with both the support and paternity issues.

http://www.legal-info-legale.nb.ca/en/uploads/file/pdfs/Child_Support_EN.pdf

Paternity Fraud Infidelity Paternity testing, Child Identity Rights, DNA testing (http://www.canadiancrc.com/Paternity_Fraud.aspx)

But I think you are looking at this from the wrong angle. You are punishing the child for the crimes of the mother. By trying to get your rights terminated you are not doing anything to to the mother, but you are harming the daughter.