Last Friday my girlfriend (of two and a half years) and I decided to take a break in our relationship. We are both 20 years old and in college. Over the past year my social anxiety has gotten worse and worse every day. My girlfriend stuck with me the whole way. She doesn't fully understand why I have social anxiety and what causes it, but she says that she "respects" it.

Anyway, over the past month my social anxiety has been the worst it has been in the past 5 years. It has turned me into a hermit, if I'm not at class or working out then I am at my house. I didn't go out with her once in the past month, all I did was day activities with her (floating, hiking) because I was getting too anxious even thinking about going to a party. She brought up that it bothered her that some of her friends had not even met her boyfriend of 2 and a half years and some of them didn't even know I exist. She said one of her best friends even forgot my name while talking to her. So my girlfriend is really bothered I don't go to parties with her. So on Friday we were laying in her bed and I brought up taking a break. I told her that I feel terrible about my anxiety. I wish I could do all these things with her, but it's just so hard for me and I don't know why but it's almost like my anxiety is controlling who I am and its changing me into something that I'm not. I told her that it's not fair for her that it's like she has 2 lives, it's like I'm only in her life half the time. We also talked about how it will be good to experience being single in college. We were both the first bf/gf for each other and it would be good to live without each other for a while.

I told her how I want to be in her life again. I told her I want to get into therapy again to get help so I can go out and be myself again, and not feel like my life is controlled by anxieties. I told her that I want to do it for myself but also for her and so we can be the happy couple again that we once were. We said we loved each other and then she promised me that she would give me a chance to be with her when I get better and get my anxiety under control.

So what's happening is I'm getting into therapy starting soon and I'm going to work on my anxiety and am going to get better. We decided to not really text each other or say love you to one another because we want to really try to experience being away from each other. I told her that I would see her once or twice a week on my way back from class (I park at her house) just to say hi or to let her know how my therapy is going and how I'm feeling. And we also decided to go to a party together every few weeks so I can go outside my comfort zone (we started this past Saturday)

I'm not worried about not getting another chance because she has promised me that multiple times since Friday. I'm just worried because I don't know how long it will take me to get better and I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that she might hook up with someone else.
It's so hard because we never did any harm to one another like cheat or be mean. We got in maybe 3 arguments in 2 and a half years and every time we were drunk when these arguments happened.

I just don't know if I should try and move on, or if I should just go day by day, get better and then get back together with her as soon as I can. I get to spend some time with her over thanksgiving when we visit her family in Oregon. I want to give her time alone but I don't know how long, I've been thinking if I'm better by thanksgiving then I should ask her if she will take me back but I don't want to do it too soon. I'm afraid if I wait too long she will forget about me and not give me a chance. Am I over thinking here and stressing myself out? Is a lot of this just my anxiety?


Thank you for reading

While I think its good to get the help you need, I don't think you will need a break up for this because it could take years of work to overcome your problem, and its not fair to have her life on hold.

If she is willing, go through this together my friend and enjoy her while you can.