Ok well me and my boyfriend been together for about 4 yrs. We started pretty quick and been living together since just a few months after seeing each other. We both have a little girl with a prior relationship but we never had our children because our lives were both unstable.

About 5 months into our relationship we got up on our feet got our own place and had our girls, my daughter’s father is not in the picture at all and the mother of his little girl (baby mama) gave him a hard time about him seeing his daughter because I was in the picture.

Long story short, he was kind of abusive to me verbally and physically and I don’t know if it was because when he was in prison WAY before meeting me. His baby mama cheated on him and got pregnant by some one else and now I feel like he takes it out on me. He says he loves me and wants to get married but I don’t know about that either cause I use to find messages he would send her asking if she still thinks of him and if she can pick him up.

When his daughter first started school (I wasn't home, we got into a fight so I left) then she'll tell me he still wants her and that she’s over him BUT I have acted like him a few times texting her and she would tell him (me), that she loves him and wants him back.

Anyway now he is in prison again because we got into another fight and he had to turn himself in. Well a few days before that we fought and we went together and his baby mama was telling me he spent the night with her. Now while he was in there I found out I was pregnant with our first baby/son and now of course his baby mama will Facebook me telling me he writes her saying he wants to make things work between them two and he loves her.

I don’t know what to do or think or even to believe for that matter. I ask him about all that and he apologizes and says she’s just jealous because he rather is with me and all that isn't true and he only writes to check up on his daughter. Hmmm I don’t know I feel like he still wants her because everything that was said and done in the past and now I feel like he only wants to try now because he feels bad what he put me through and now because I went through a whole pregnancy alone and still hearing stuff. Ugh what should I do or believe??

My daughter also calls him daddy and he loves it and says he 100% positive and ready to commit to the role, What should I do about that? I mean I love him but don’t want to look stupid for staying with him if he don’t change or be honest.

Why even bother being stuck with this guy or his baby mama? You will be just like her, just a baby mama.

Why even bother being stuck with this guy or his baby mama? You will be just like her, just a baby mama.


I feel like I need to for my 2 kids.I mean he's a great father and is a great boyfriend and does everything 2 make me happy,its just this BM that keeps putt'n stuff in my head and he gets mad and then of course we start arguing making it worse. Im still trying to get over our history 2gether(me&bf) but he is still trying 2 make things work and says he'll never give up on me.. I'm confused with what has been done and what he's saying now. Should I try with him in return or just do me? What about our kids?

Staying with a man just to have a father for your children is a poor reason.
He is in prison... again. Seems unstable for children. How is that being a good father?

Please, refrain from using text speak. I don't know what this means: "its just dis BM dat keeps putt'n stuff in my head ".

Sounds like you should raise the bar when it comes to men for you and your children.

Staying with a man just to have a father for your children is a poor reason.
He is in prison...again. Seems unstable for children. How is that being a good father?

Please, refrain from using text speak. I don't know what this means: "its just dis BM dat keeps putt'n stuff in my head ".

Sounds like you should raise the bar when it comes to men for you and your children.

Sorry BM means babymama. I only tolerate him because he was the only 1 who helped me when I struggled and when me and my daughter had nowere to go. Now he's in jail I feel like I should at least be there for him. He gets out in December and keeps trying to hold on to me when I don't want to try nomore. My question is should I give him another chance? What would you do?

I just had our first son that he never met and I really do want to make things work and have a family so does he but like I said I'm confused and nervous. Should I believe him. Ugh I hate this thinking it confuses me more:(

Sorry BM means babymama. I only tolerate him because he was the only 1 who helped me when i struggled and when me and my daughter had nowere to go. Now he's in jail i feel like i should at least be there for him. He gets out in December and keeps trying to hold on to me when i dont want to try nomore. My question is should i give him another chance? What would you do??

So, you used him to help with your daughter, and now you stay with him out of guilt? You should consider what is best for your children. If he is abusive, then I don't see a choice here.

So, you used him to help with your daughter, and now you stay with him out of guilt? You should consider what is best for your children. If he is abusive, then I don't see a choice here.

Well when you put it like that I guess you can say it was like that in the beginning but don't get me wrong I love him like no other,I do believe he'll change especially now that we have our first son together, I think he will look at all his wrongs and want to be that father 2 our son that he never had. He grew up crazy,he watched his mom with different men and get beat on,he never knew his dad and he was around drugs/alcohol. I guess it's a cycle? His sister is married to a abusive man of 11yrs they have 4kids together. His brother is sometimes abusive in words. I DO NOT want a relationship like there's but I love him. Our son has changed me a lot too.I no longer nag or start fights I don't know I just hope he will do good and change for all the right reasons like he says and give me more respect because dame I been doing it for almost a whole yr by myself especially a whole pregnancy,I got my own place,car,job and I'm only 22.. we did plan us having a baby but not like this with me doing it by myself.. I just like hearing other people opinions and taught on this because a lot of it helps.

I think you count on being a strong independent female in case all that change you want from him doesn't happen. You did it before, so keep doing it. And don't get sloppy over love with this so far very unreliable fellow.

This has nothing to do with love at all, just protecting yourself and your kids. Yeah you ARE on your own here.