I have a two year old son who's father signed the birth certificate with a phony SS# and DOB. I provide almost all care (financially & physically) for my son. The father lives with us right now, but it growing increasingly angry & resistant to helping. I am afraid he will take our son... what are my rights, can he do that? Am I able to move out of state? I have a good job now, but also have another good offer in IL, where my family lives and can help with the baby. Please help.

I have a two year old son who's father signed the birth certificate with a phony SS# and DOB. I provide almost all care (financially & physically) for my son. The father lives with us right now, but it growing increasingly angry & resistant to helping. I am afraid he will take our son......what are my rights, can he do that? Am I able to move out of state? I have a good job now, but also have another good offer in IL, where my family lives and can help with the baby. Please help.


At this point you have equal rights to the child. You could take the baby and move OR he could take the baby and move.

Why did he give a false SS# and DOB?

Go to Court and request primary custody, that the child live with you. DNA testing will be ordered to prove paternity.

He will probably ask for an order granting him custody.

You will also ask for support.

If you just pick up and go with the child he cannot stop you but he CAN go to Court to get an emergency hearing on the custody issue, and that might prevent to keep you from going.

You need to get legal custody.

At this point you have equal rights to the child. You could take the baby and move OR he could take the baby and move.

Why did he give a false SS# and DOB?

Go to Court and request primary custody, that the child live with you. DNA testing will be ordered to prove paternity.

He will probably ask for an order granting him custody.

You will also ask for support.

If you just pick up and go with the child he cannot stop you but he CAN go to Court to get an emergency hearing on the custody issue, and that might prevent to keep you from going.

You need to get legal custody.

I am guessing he thought that would prevent him from paying support eventually. Also, he is not a US citizen and does not have a green card, but does have a SS card here. Does that make a difference?

P.S. I love your quote.

I am guessing he thought that would prevent him from paying support eventually. Also, he is not a US citizen and does not have a green card, but does have a SS card here. Does that make a difference?

P.S. I love your quote.


Oh, thanks for loving the quote. Very kind of you, and I appreciate it. You made me smile.

If he is in the US illegally and you go to Court (or he goes to Court or he takes the baby and leaves) he will get into trouble with Immigration.

That, unfortunately, doesn't change that either one of you at this point can take the baby and leave.

Of course, if he gets deported you won't get any child support. He's wrong about Child Support finding him, incorrect SS number and birth date or not.

I think in view of the circumstances that you need to go to Court and get an Order. I don't mean to scare you but is there a possibility he would take the baby out of the US? I know that, in theory, he can't without your permission but it does happen.

What's your feeling about what he would do if you said you were going "home"?

I believe at the point it is, I have to be very careful what I say to him, as he is very unstable. I will take your advice and contact a lawyer to file for custodial rights. Until then I am going to play very nice and try to keep him calm. Thank you again for your help. Unfortunate what some of us women have to go through, more so for the kids. :(

I believe at the point it is, I have to be very careful what I say to him, as he is very unstable. I will take your advice and contact a lawyer to file for custodial rights. Until then I am going to play very nice and try to keep him calm. Thank you again for your help. Unfortunate what some of us women have to go through, more so for the kids. :(


Been there, done that - good luck and please come back and keep "us" informed.

You know, if you feel like sticking around and answering questions you'd be very welcome.

You express yourself well (and you like my signature!) and you very possibly can help someone in your same position.

If the relationship is in this level, move out, if you move out of state most likely there isnothing he will do, since he will not risk going to court to fight for custody if he is not here legally.