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ninagirlG
Mar 8, 2007, 11:06 AM
Thank you for all of your help with that abusive situation !
I tried to break up with my boyfriend but ,he had his mom chase me with her car and he got out a started to pull me into the car . When I got in he screamed and yelled and hit me !
Then he apologized !
And said he was wrong for doing what he did !
Since that fight he has been super nice to me we haven't fought in 2 weeks and he hasn't
Even been abusive!
Do you think he's acting? Do you think he's really going to try this time?

I don't know what to do ! Does he really love me?

Nina_:

southpaw88
Mar 8, 2007, 11:55 AM
thank you for all of your help with that abusive situation !
i tryed to break up with my boyfriend but ,he had his mom chase me with her car and he got out a started to pull me into the car . when i got in he screamed and yelled and hit me !
then he apologized !
and said he was wrong for doing what he did !
since that fight he has been super nice to me we havnt fought in 2 weeks and he hasnt
even been abusive!!
do you think hes acting ?? do u think hes really gonna try this time??

i dont know what to do ! does he really love me ??

nina_:
Dear Nina,

I'm a woman, so I know how you feel in this type of situation. I was in a similar situation, but at the same time... This is more serious. This man physically abused you & he thinks he can make up for it? What's to say he won't hit you again? Be strong. Remember a man never will complete you & he will also never make you incomplete. You deserve someone who would never lay a hand on you and would treat you the way you want to be treated.

And I know your question was, "is he acting" about treating you right, since he apparently has been for the past 2 weeks... But... How long do you think this will last? He might not be acting, but that is not the point. Your safety is most important, and verbal &/or physical abuse from your spouse/partner is unacceptable! Your partner/boyfriend should be there to accompany you and make things feel as they are all right at the end of the day, make you feel safe & secure! Who does this guy think he is?

You are worth so much. & I don't have to know you personally to tell you that, Dear. I know it's hard to let go, because you think he will change. But... You deserve a healthy relationship. & if this guy did it once (like I said before) how do you know he won't be abusive again?

This is your call though. Do what you think is write. Best of wishes & I hope everything turns out all right. Hope this was helpful.

- Legs

kp2171
Mar 8, 2007, 12:13 PM
He was wrong. Period.

Time to move on. Period.

If you accept this behavior... physical abuse followed by an apology... you are setting yourself up for the next hit.

And then what? You stay with him cause you feel trapped? You put yourself down and lower yourself esteem because you stayed when you knew better? You tell yourself maybe you deserve it?

How about this... lets say he's good to you... you have a great relationship... get married... have a kid. Then he hits you. Or hits the kid. What then? The guy thinks its OK to chase you down and to physically try to control you and hit you.

What would you tell your daughter if a boy did this to her?

This has nothing to do with love. This has everything to do with your emotional and physical safety. I don't care if it's a one time event. I don't care if he never did it before.

You should expect more for yourself and demand to be treated better... which means leaving him.

talaniman
Mar 8, 2007, 01:34 PM
No he is not acting but following the same cycle they all do. Being really nice until something sets him off then BAM, you wonder what YOU'VE done to deserve it and then he goes back to nice again. No doubt you've seen this pattern and it will repeat itself until he gets help.

kristynn
Mar 8, 2007, 06:30 PM
Honey, you must get away from that person. He has real problems and no respect.

He's being nice for now, OK, but it's in his character NOT to be nice and there's nothing you can do to change that.

You might love him, I understand, but I honestly think you should stay away from him. Don't wait for it to happen again!