My son is 28 but lives in a wheelchair, he has cerebral palsy and while cognatively he is fine, physically he is at about a 10 month old level (literally he can do what a 10 month old can) My ex has taken me to court to have our son emancipated, the court said no, and increased support. This was March 2010. To date he has paid about 200 total (30 here, 40 there) and is currently 27,000 behind. I cannot get our local enforcement to do anything. They took his license, but he still drives, he doesn't care. How can I get this support order enfroced? Please don't tell me to get a lawyer, as I work for 1 and he has tried to get it enforced as well to no avail. I was told by child support that if he pays something every month (although not the entire amount) they will not do anything. I have written to our governor who says "not my department" I have spoken with the attorney general, nothing happened. Basically my son is forced to take welfare to survive because this support order is not enforced and our state money is already taxed to the max. what to do now?

my son is 28 but lives in a wheelchair, he has cerebral palsy and while cognatively he is fine, physically he is at about a 10 month old level (literally he can do what a 10 month old can) My ex has taken me to court to have our son emancipated, the court said no, and increased support. This was March 2010. To date he has paid about 200 total (30 here, 40 there) and is currently 27,000 behind. I cannot get our local enforcement to do anything. they took his license, but he still drives, he doesn't care. How can I get this support order enfroced? Please don't tell me to get a lawyer, as I work for 1 and he has tried to get it enforced as well to no avail. I was told by child support that if he pays something every month (although not the entire amount) they will not do anything. I have written to our governor who says "not my department" I have spoken with the attorney general, nothing happened. Basically my son is forced to take welfare to survive because this support order is not enforced and our state money is already taxed to the max. what to do now?


Where? If you work for an Attorney and he has no suggestions I doubt anyone here will, either.

Aside from getting my ex back in court yet again (and costing me money to have a judge see that again the order is not enforced).. mt boss has no idea what to do either to get those "in charge" of monitoring these situations to act. My ex never follows the orders and they are never enforced by those put in place to enforce them "The System" "Child Support ENFORCEMENT" Why is it that the non custodial parents are "protected" while the custodial parent has to beg for a Judge's order to be enforced. There must be some other way aside from another law suit against my ex that he will likely ignore. This has been ongoing for 20 years and the system is failing us.

aside from getting my ex back in court yet again (and costing me money to have a judge see that again the order is not enforced).. mt boss has no idea what to do either to get those "in charge" of monitoring these situations to act. my ex never follows the orders and they are never enforced by those put in place to enforce them "The System" "Child Support ENFORCEMENT" Why is it that the non custodial parents are "protected" while the custodial parent has to beg for a Judge's order to be enforced. There must be some other way aside from another law suit against my ex that he will likely ignore. This has been ongoing for 20 years and the system is failing us.


This is a question for the discussion boards.

The "system" is, for starters, overwhelmed. Get proof he's driving unlicensed - hire an investigator - and have his butt put in jail.

In a perfect world... It just doesn't work like that.

In a perfect world... It just doesn't work like that.


It does work like that. I'm an investigator, an independent, and I work these cases (along with other matters).

Maybe I live in a perfect world.

You cannot post a question and then shut down every answer. You work for an Attorney and he's helpless in this situation? What about contempt of Court?

It does work like that. I'm an investigator, an independent, and I work these cases (along with other matters).

Maybe I live in a perfect world.

You cannot post a question and then shut down every answer. You work for an Attorney and he's helpless in this situation? What about contempt of Court?

Its not that I shut down every answer. It's that I'd like a remedy that does not involve ME having to again spend money to enforce an order that I have already spent thousands to get in place. What good is the Order if it isn't enforced by child support enforcement, prosecutors and judges? The problem is our system and the fact that there is no help for custodial parents via the agencies in place to help. Why doesn't Child Support enforcement enforce the order? Isn't that what my tax dollars pay them to do?

And why should I have to spend money to investigate that he is not doing what he is suppose to do. Isn't that clear through Child Support Records, that no support has been paid. The system is failing me and thousands of others and then we scratch our heads and wonder why our states are so broke. Well, have deadbeats live up to their end of the bargin or put them jail until they comply. But again, in a perfect world... And how would you feel if you knew that this same able bodied man was able to obtain welfare and food stamps , medicaid for 4 chidlren and a wife, lied on the application and said he had no child support obligation. So I am to support our son 100% then use my tax dollars to pay for him and his family to live because he doesn't get a job? Something is not right with that picture.

Its not that I shut down every answer. It's that I'd like a remedy that does not involve ME having to again spend money to enforce an order that I have already spent thousands to get in place. What good is the Order if it isn't enforced by child support enforcement, prosecutors and judges? The problem is our system and the fact that there is no help for custodial parents via the agencies in place to help. Why doesn't Child Support enforcement enforce the order? isn't that what my tax dollars pay them to do?


In my area - NY - there is no charge at all to file for contempt in Family Court.

You also don't need an Attorney. In fact, the people who are WITHOUT representation do "better" than the people who show up with a person in a silk suit and alligator shoes.

And, again, this is more discussion than anything else and should be on a discussion board.

Why doesn't Child Support Enforcement do its job? I have no idea.

and why should I have to spend money to investigate that he is not doing what he is suppose to do. Isn't that clear thru Child Support Records, that no support has been paid. The system is failing me and thousands of others and then we scratch our heads and wonder why our states are so broke. Well, have deadbeats live up to their end of the bargin or put them jail until they comply. But again, in a perfect world.... And how would you feel if you knew that this same able bodied man was able to obtain welfare and food stamps , medicaid for 4 chidlren and a wife, lied on the application and said he had no child support obligation. So I am to support our son 100% then use my tax dollars to pay for him and his family to live because he doesn't get a job? Something is not right with that picture.


I don't know what you possibly expect me to say. How I would or wouldn't feel is meaningless. This is a classic passive/aggressive question. PROVE your accusations in Court. Complaining/explaining here does nothing.

This is a discusson, not a Q & A problem.

And for the record I was divorced. My husband "split" for another State. It took me 7 years, but I got what the Court ordered by myself, no Attorney.

and why should I have to spend money to investigate that he is not doing what he is suppose to do. Isn't that clear thru Child Support Records, that no support has been paid. The system is failing me and thousands of others and then we scratch our heads and wonder why our states are so broke. Well, have deadbeats live up to their end of the bargin or put them jail until they comply. But again, in a perfect world.... And how would you feel if you knew that this same able bodied man was able to obtain welfare and food stamps , medicaid for 4 chidlren and a wife, lied on the application and said he had no child support obligation. So I am to support our son 100% then use my tax dollars to pay for him and his family to live because he doesn't get a job? Something is not right with that picture.

And for the record, the lie to Social Services about not having another child to support came up in our trial a few years ago as I had "proof" he lied. No one cared...

and for the record, the lie to Social Services about not having another child to support came up in our trial a few years ago as I had "proof" he lied. No one cared....


Okay, let's do this. How do you want me to respond?

Okay, let's do this. How do you want me to respond?

You can direct me how I can try and change the laws in order that Child Support Enforcement enforces orders. And trust me when I tell you, I am dead serious. If you have direction I'd love to hear it. It should not be necessary to go back to court for an Order when you already have one and there is an agency who's job it is to enforce those particular orders.

The problem is that the State I live in is not doing enough where enforcement is concerned and that needs to change.
Social Services needs to be aware of the circumstances before they had out my hard earned tax dollars to some dead beat who doesn't pay child support. Wouldn't you agree?

the problem is that the State I live in is not doing enough where enforcement is concerned and that needs to change.
Social Services needs to be aware of the circumstances before they had out my hard earned tax dollars to some dead beat who doesn't pay child support. Wouldn't you agree?


Again, this is not a discussion board.

If you want to change the Law contact your State representatives. Post your State and I'll post their contact info.

Again, passive/aggressive.

This is what happens when you have children with dead beats or people with no moral compass. Or wasn't your "ex" always like this?

and for the record, the lie to Social Services about not having another child to support came up in our trial a few years ago as I had "proof" he lied. No one cared....


I'm an investigator. I investigate AND testify fairly regularly.

What was your proof and why was it ignored?

In all cases I have seen if you find bank accounts and income, though the court you may attach them.

Again, this is not a discussion board.

If you want to change the Law contact your State representatives. Post your State and I'll post their contact info.

Again, passive/aggressive.

This is what happens when you have children with dead beats or people with no moral compass. Or wasn't your "ex" always like this?

I was a child when I married... I was 13 when I met him, 17 when I got pregnant and married. I had no idea what I was doing... He was a boy. Now he is a man and I agree, should live up to his responsibilities.

"This is what happens when you have children with dead beats or people with no moral compass"

Yep it is, and lucky you, you get to sit on your high horse and judge others based on mistakes they may have made when they were children.

Good Day.

I was a child when I married....I was 13 when I met him, 17 when I got pregnant and married. I had no idea what I was doing...He was a boy. Now he is a man and I agree, should live up to his responsibilities.

"This is what happens when you have children with dead beats or people with no moral compass"

Yep it is, and lucky you, you get to sit on your high horse and judge others based on mistakes they may have made when they were children.

Good Day.


You left out the part where I asked if he was always like this. If you are going to quote me, post the entire quote.

Where did I judge you?

You want to know what to do? You've been told what to do and how to do it. You just don't want to hear it.

Again - why was your proof not allowed.

In my State, MO if a person is self employed, they will not attach wages (he is) He doesn't keep a bank account in his name (keeps most everything in wife's name) he let his 300,000 house go into foreclosure because the Judge was going to order it sold to pay me back child support. I was finally able to prove he lied in years before about his income and they did increase the support but he never paid when it was 200 per month and he won't pay it now that it is over 1000 month. He has been running from this since I divorced him some 20 years ago, but he takes real good care of his other 4 chdiren he's had since our divorce.
It isn't that I don't want to hear the "advice" you offer, it is that it isn't working. I am not new to this. I have gone through the proper channels to get an order in place and I believe child support enforcement should enfroce it

And the "proof" of him lying to social service to get welfare (a assumed that is what you meant) was allowed, we had his application in court, but no one seemed to care that he had lied, there was no backlash or admonishment, or even a word uttered about it.

and the "proof" of him lying to social service to get welfare (a assumed that is what you meant) was allowed, we had his application in court, but no one seemed to care that he had lied, there was no backlash or admonishment, or even a word uttered about it.


I was quoting you and asked what you meant - "and for the record, the lie to Social Services about not having another child to support came up in our trial a few years ago as I had 'proof' he lied. No one cared..."

I asked why no one cared.

I was quoting you and asked what you meant - "and for the record, the lie to Social Services about not having another child to support came up in our trial a few years ago as I had 'proof' he lied. No one cared..."

I asked why no one cared.

You would have to ask the Judge. He heard it, the application was admitted and that was the end of it. He (the ex) has since been able to obtain welfare even though he lied. The system is not working here in the way it should and it frustrates me that it doesn't. It should not be my responsibility to constantly chase this man around with money to get him to do what he is suppose to do. There are agencies in place who's job I thought it was to be sure orders are enforced. I have done everything I am suppose to do, I have paid thousands to have these orders put in place, thousands to support my son and his physical limitations, on my own and the only thing I can do is thrown more money at the problem> or, have my son get on welfare? Seems like there is something wrong with that picture. Doesn't it to you? Is this where you want your tax money to go, to support a man who is disabled (my son) who's father is perfectly capable but will not support him and he himself (my ex) is afforded welfare? So instead of my order being enforce, I end up supporting myself, my son and my ex his kids and his wife. It just isn't right. I appreciate you input but I am just tired of hearing that the only remedy is more attorneys and court fees. How is it that THAT is my only remedy??

you would have to ask the Judge. he heard it, the application was admitted and that was the end of it. He (the ex) has since been able to obtain welfare even tho he lied. The system is not working here in the way it should and it frustrates me that it doesn't. It should not be my responsibility to constantly chase this man around with money to get him to do what he is suppose to do. There are agencies in place whos job I thought it was to be sure orders are enforced. I have done everything I am suppose to do, I have paid thousands to have these orders put in place, thousands to support my son and his physical limitations, on my own and the only thing I can do is thrown more money at the problem> or, have my son get on welfare? Seems like there is something wrong with that picture. Doesn't it to you? Is this where you want your tax money to go, to support a man who is disabled (my son) whos father is perfectly capable but will not support him and he himself (my ex) is afforded welfare? So instead of my order being enforce, I end up supporting myself, my son and my ex his kids and his wife. It just isn't right. I appreciate you input but I am just tired of hearing that the only remedy is more attorneys and court fees. How is it that THAT is my only remedy???


And appears it IS your own remedy. I'm not arguing that with you. I'm telling you what the law is, because that's where you asked the long-ago answered question.

Yes, apparently you've been treated unfairly. Whether it's your "responsibility" in general does not matter. If you want your money it IS your responsibility, all theories aside.

Sure, post the name of the Judge and I will ask him.

In my area you do not need an Attorney to prove fraud. You provide evidence and proof, not accusations, and the Judge hears you. Hire a PI, spend that money, take that report to Court and get the matter reheard.

I don't know what you want anybody to say - if you want people to agree that you are being treated unfairly, yes, I agree. I'm rather puzzled how you can work for an Attorney and run up these high legal bills. I managed law firms for a lot of years, and that was not our policy. Apparently it's the policy of whomever employs you.

If you work in a law firm you should have sufficient knowledge and experience to handle this yourself. It's all about the proof.

I had a situation following my divorce. I could not find one Attorney who would handle it for me because it was a case of Federal Law vs State Law. I spent hours and hours in the law library (and I have 2-1/2 years of law school), and I represented myself right to NYS Supreme Court.

And I prevailed. My "ex" was playing games. I wasn't.

So handle it yourself.