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View Full Version : I'm confused about my sexuality, what do I do?


jadee1
Sep 5, 2012, 10:44 AM
This is the first time I have told shared this with anyone so here it goes. I'm 15 and over the past couple of days all I'v been thinking about is what it would be like getting with another girl. Lesbian porn turns me on more than straight porn. Also when I was 10/11 me and my best friend who was a girl as well, were really close and we tried some stuff out but we didn't get naked.. Another time when I was about 12/13 me and all my girl friends had a sleepover and we tried kissing and stuff and I think they have gotten over it but I still think about it. Like the other day some girl walked past me in the street and I turned around and looked at her bum. I thought about being bi curious a few years ago thinking it would go away but it hasn't. I also never get turned on by boys. I'm with a bo? At the moment and I have strong feelings for him but I never like the sound of sexual things with him but I can think about doing stuff like that with girls. I have lost my virginity but I don't want to do it again for a while. I'm confused help?

talaniman
Sep 5, 2012, 11:56 AM
Relax, as its often the case when experimeenting with sexuality at a very young age that confusion sets in. Mostly because you have no one to answer your questions, or share the confusion with, like an understanding trusted adult,or someone to shed light on that confusion. Mom would be the one to talk to, a counselor, or teacher.

You have done a lot of experiment on your own for a 15 year old, and this would be a confusing time for you regardless of you exploring sexual things. Its normal not to completely understand all you have done, as curiosity was the drive behind your actions as what youngster can explain their intense feelings after experimenting? Hardly any, none in fact, and it may be a while before you fully understand yourself completely.

You already have an idea what you may want, and don't want, so until you know more about yourself, put a limit to experimenting, so you can define yourself someday without guilt or outside attitudes and influences.

The whole point as you grow and learn more about the YOU that you want to be, is to be happy with whatever you learn about yourself, no matter what any one says because you have to live with yourself, your thoughts, and actions, without guilt or shame. Or others will define you ,and happiness will be most dificult living to their expectations.

The last thing you need is rushing into something because of intense feelings that leads to impulsive actions that feel good, but aren't good for you. So when confused about anything, take the time to think it through, before you rush to any conclusion, and look for facts and not make decisions on just feelings. At 15, no reason to rush and make decisions, just be careful, thoughtful and protect yourself.

Understanding will come if you are patient with yourself. The more you know about yourself, the more you will enjoy the experimenting and exploring,safely.

Hit the library and do some research on your own, and ask an adult if you have questions, because your friends your age are just as confused, gay, straight, or bi.

Good luck with your growth.

jadee1
Sep 5, 2012, 02:53 PM
Thank you so much. It helped a lot :)

lisa678543
Sep 10, 2012, 07:26 PM
I'm also 15 years old and I don't know if I'm lesbian or not I like watching girls and all that but like guys and think about both when I was 6 years old I had this friend that was a girl and we would go to the bathroom together in school and we would touch each other that was the first time any one touched me she so after that I forgot about it then when I was 10 I would watch porn and time passed when I was 13 about 14 I made friends with this girl in school and now I'm 15 and we had 5 sleep overs and we would talk about guys and she told me that she kissed a girl an she also said that she only loves 2 people in her life her dad her boyfriend and me I didn't say anything I've been thinking about kissing her but I don't know if I should but at the same time I like guys SO I consider myself beisexul hope it helps

Fr_Chuck
Sep 10, 2012, 08:58 PM
At 15 you can consider and wonder all the time, The trouble with labels, once you label yourself, you are sort of stuck. How about waiting and seeing how it all turns out, you can date and hang out and see what andhow things go.

One should not be having any type of sex at 15 anyway

joypulv
Sep 14, 2012, 05:29 AM
Throughout history, young boys have experimented with boys, and girls with girls. Probably for the simple reason that they feel comfortable around each other. Who 'turns out' to be what later on remains to be seen. There are even people who claim to be neither gay, lesbian, nor bi, but variable according to who they like at the time. I'm not sure if that falls under bi or not, but who cares? I watched a long TV show on men who are only attracted to life size dolls. Both men and women often don't 'realize' they are gay until later in life, often after having married and had children. There's no rush.

But if you do think that you really are a lesbian, is that troubling you? That's the big question.