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brokenheart81
Sep 5, 2012, 04:51 AM
Hi,

I'm 31 year old lesbian in love with a 34 year old straight woman. She has been in marriage for 8 years and then divorced because of cheating spouse. She had some relationships after that but nothing worked as the guys turned out be... We came close when she was helping me out of depression from a bad and broken relationship that I was in.The detailed conversations and time spent together I fell in love with her and expressed my feeling and she stopped me as she had feelings only for men.Later as time went by and after we moved in together she also started to feel for me and for her I was the only exception and she can never think of a women in her life. We had great moments, stood aside each other for everything, any misunderstandings or small fights we would close it then and there and will be back together.

Everything changed after she travelled abroad for work and when her senior management colleague approached her for a relationship.She got carried off and slept with him couple of times during different travel locations.I realised as soon as this started and she kept saying no and eventually broke out in tears because she was living in guilt and lies and found it horrible when she faced me. She said twice no to him but he will not let her go and push her and she gave in. Finally once for all she said no to him and he soon arranged a work travel for her where she will have to face him. When I'm writing this she is travelling and attending an office event where he will also be there. BTW this guy is 10 years older than her, married & divorced twice with 2 children from each of them. He is just out of the second divorce.

After this incident I should say I have almost stopped living with betrayal from the woman who I love the most, lies and thoughts about what she did with him on bed.We have been talking and discussing about what went wrong between us and why she fell apart everyday for the last 4 months day and night but never reached a conclusion. I still love her and told her that it was just a mistake that she did and my feeling for her has not changed but she wanted time. Finally she came back to me saying she feels she cheated on me because there was no depth in our relationship because it was between the same gender. I can't live without her and she strongly feels she is connectted with me, loves me, cares for me and wants me in life but there has always been a conflict in her mind how can she be in a relationship with the same gender when she is straight.

I'm waiting for her to come back this weekend and I'm not sure what to expect. I hope she comes back with lots of love for me. Please help with suitable suggestions for her and me. I wish I could read them with her.