Does that mean they are not attracted to you or even have any emotions towards you? You don't turn them on?? Help!

My husband started taking this and I'm not sure exactly what all this means... we were fine and now Viagra?? Is he not attracted to me or what am I doing wrong??

Have you talked with him about this?

Have you talked with him about this?
I just found out... I don't know even how to start to feel.

Viagra isn't a love potion... it just helps the flagpole stand up.

Viagra isn't a love potion....it just helps the flagpole stand up.

But do they have any emotions with it? I am blindsided by this.

Has he had sexual problems with you?

Has he had sexual problems with you?
I'm not even sure how long he's been using it, I found out at supper tonight because I was asking about the difference in the amount of sex we have been having lately. I just mentioned it and he flew off and told me " I needed to go find someone that can do it in the drop of a hat" . I just started crying.

How old are the two of you?

But do they have any emotions with it? I am blindsided by this.

Its clear English isn't your first language.

No Viagra doesn't make him feel any different, so no it doesn't make him care more. (in your words, no it doesn't give him any more emotions than he had without it)

It only helps his with his problem of getting an erection and keeping it.

They are not related

How old are the two of you?

36 and 42

Its clear English isn't your first language.

No Viagra doesn't make him feel any different, so no it doesn't make him care more. (in your words, no it doesn't give him any more emotions than he had without it)

It only helps his with his problem of getting an erection and keeping it.

They are not related
I'm actually English, I'm just beside myself in this and I thought I could ask questions without someone being RUDE about it. Thanks for adding to it!

Your husband is 42? Midlife crisis time?

I'm actually English, I'm just beside myself in this and I thought I could ask questions without someone being RUDE about it. Thanks for adding to it!
Who was being rude and in WHAT post? I'm pretty familiar with British, Australian, North American and Caribbean English dialects.. (not to mention three other languages) .and none of them would have used the choice of words you made. So it's a very valid observation to make.

Calm down, you two. Let's get to the root of what might be going on here. I value smoothy for his male opinion and input. And I appreciate the challenge of the question asked.

Your husband is 42? Midlife crisis time?

We have been fine though. This is killing me, the unknown. I'm going to have to sit down and talk with him I guess.

We have been fine though. This is killing me, the unknown. I'm going to have to sit down and talk with him I guess.
Okay, but let's plan out what you will say.

Okay, but let's plan out what you will say.
I need to, he has always been effectionate and attracted to me and vise-versa. All of a sudden though, this?

Let's think this through. He's 42. He's getting old. He may be feeling unsure about his future as an aging male. At 42, I had raised my kids who didn't need me as much any more, my husband was busy with work, and I worked too but it wasn't enough. Who was I? Where was I going? Had I proven myself enough yet? Had I been the best I could be?

I decided to go to counseling grad school while keeping my library job. Maybe your husband has some of the same worries and concerns and is fending off what he thinks will happen as he ages, a slowing down of his libido and ability to enjoy sex.

Let's think this through. He's 42. He's getting old. He may be feeling unsure about his future as an aging male. At 42, I had raised my kids who didn't need me as much any more, my husband was busy with work, and I worked too but it wasn't enough. Who was I? Where was I going? Had I proven myself enough yet? Had I been the best I could be?

I decided to go to counseling grad school while keeping my library job. Maybe your husband has some of the same worries and concerns and is fending off what he thinks will happen as he ages, a slowing down of his libido and ability to enjoy sex.
Maybe it's a phase he's going through or maybe not. We both have great jobs, are financial stable and pretty much debt free other than this new med brought into the house. We spend most of our time together as we always did and he never mentioned anything. After all it is his body so he would know if something was changing before I would and his family MD wrote the script so I just need to trust his doings at this point. I just don't want to be weird about it and there's a good chance that I will be.

That's why I want you to think about this now, so you don't get weird about it.

This is about him, not how he feels about you. I strongly suggest that, if and when you talk with him, be upbeat about your marriage and your sex life. It sounds like you two are the love of each other's life, so don't get hinky about him having affairs or whatever. I really think this is all about him and his insecurities about aging.

I'm actually English, I'm just beside myself in this and I thought I could ask questions without someone being RUDE about it. Thanks for adding to it!


Is this how you talk to your husband?

I will add that Viagra is by prescription, not over the counter. A PHYSICIAN prescribed it. Your husband went to a Physician with a problem or concern and the Physician prescribed it.

Viagra doesn't cause an erection. Viagra enables an erection when there is stimulation - which he apparently is still looking to you to provide.

Have you read up on the drug? "It's simple: When it works as intended, Viagra causes a man who is sexually stimulated to get an erection."

I don't understand your upset. He's taking (apparently) Viagra in order to have sex with you. I'd be flattered. Women post here all the time that their husband doesn't/can't get an erection and don't know how to approach him. He's already taken steps to assist him in what appears to be a problem with his erections.

That's why I want you to think about this now, so you don't get weird about it.

This is about him, not how he feels about you. I strongly suggest that, if and when you talk with him, be upbeat about your marriage and your sex life. It sounds like you two are the love of each other's life, so don't get hinky about him having affairs or whatever. I really think this is all about him and his insecurities about aging.
Thank you so much, I trust him, and love him no matter the circumstances, I just couldn't talk to him without questioning all of my emotions and unanswered questions first. I would never want to hurt his male ego or anything like that, thanks again!

Is this how you talk to your husband?

I will add that Viagra is by prescription, not over the counter. A PHYSICIAN prescribed it. Your husband went to a Physician with a problem or concern and the Physician prescribed it.

Viagra doesn't cause an erection. Viagra enables an erection when there is stimulation - which he apparently is still looking to you to provide.

Have you read up on the drug? "It's simple: When it works as intended, Viagra causes a man who is sexually stimulated to get an erection."

I don't understand your upset. He's taking (apparently) Viagra in order to have sex with you. I'd be flattered. Women post here all the time that their husband doesn't/can't get an erection and don't know how to approach him. He's already taken steps to assist him in what appears to be a problem with his erections.
I needed questions I had, answered before speaking with him to avoid hurting him. The male ego is a huge thing and he's so gentle and easy going I just couldn't slip and say something to hurt him. Thank you for you knowledge on this though.

I needed questions I had, answered before speaking with him to avoid hurting him. The male ego is a huge thing and he's so gentle and easy going I just couldn't slip and say something to hurt him. Thank you for you knowledge on this though.


Can you tell me why finding out that he is taking (if he is) Viagra is upsetting to you and why he didn't tell you? Why do you think he kept it secret?

My guess is male ego but usually there are sexual problems first, and the wife is well aware that there is something changing.

Can you tell me why finding out that he is taking (if he is) Viagra is upsetting to you and why he didn't tell you? Why do you think he kept it secret?
I hear about marriages falling apart all the time and I would never want that to happen to us. I was just shocked. And also very impressed that he did something like this on his own. He's Is wonderful and I am very lucky to have him. If he feels the need to have that as a backup then so be it.
My guess is male ego but usually there are sexual problems first, and the wife is well aware that there is something changing.I hear about marriages falling apart all the time and I would never want that to happen to us. I was just shocked. And also very impressed that he did something like this on his own. He's Is wonderful and I am very lucky to have him. If he feels the need to have that as a backup then so be it.

Talking with him will be joyful and full of smiles, not full of fear and tears. Are you feeling better about this?

That's why I want you to think about this now, so you don't get weird about it.

This is about him, not how he feels about you. I strongly suggest that, if and when you talk with him, be upbeat about your marriage and your sex life. It sounds like you two are the love of each other's life, so don't get hinky about him having affairs or whatever. I really think this is all about him and his insecurities about aging.
Thank you so much.

Talking with him will be joyful and full of smiles, not full of fear and tears. Are you feeling better about this?
Yes, thank you so very much.

Any questions? Any insecurities still hanging there?

Are you smiling and eager for an active and fun-filled sex life with the man you love and who loves you?

Don't be confrontational. Listen a lot more than you talk. Really listen and let your love shine through your body language and your facial expressions.

And be sure to let us know how things are going. :)

Don't be confrontational. Listen a lot more than you talk. Really listen and let your love shine through your body language and your facial expressions.

And be sure to let us know how things are going. :)

Will do :) I feel a lot better about ALL of this-he and I talked about the what ifs and we both agreed that our relationship is more than just sex and it always has been and will always be-i will update you on our conversation when it occurs(I'm sure it will be soon enough)

I will be here and waiting.