Hello. Do the other women on here get annoyed when you are out in public and the men stare at your breasts or sexualizes your body for no reason? I am not talking about dressing like tramp but dress normal and they STILL do this. I find it to be very nasty and one time I went home and even cried over it. I just want to go in public and not be looked at like a slab of meat.

I notice the women don't do it. Now I am not saying like I'm Cindy Crawford or anything, just saying I notice most of the men do this.

I don't see the male doctors no more. I went to an appointment and he was all rubbing my back and telling me things were going to fine. I hated that. I only go to the women now; they are professional.

I'm guessing you are upset nobody looks at you when you are out or enough?

Seriously... you sound like its time to get into some therapy... most humans LIKE being noticed by the opposite sex. And its normal for people to look at others they find appealing. THe human race would have died out hundreds of thousands of years ago if it wasn't normal.

Hell most advanced life forms on earth would die out if it wasn't normal for that matter.

You are guessing wrong then. If you reads the OP you would see I said the exact opposite...

The human race needs to die tomorrow.

Anyway I was just saying I finds it to be disgusting and annoying how they are and how they stares at the women's bodies like slabs of meat... the whole point of them doing it is to try and make the women feel dirty, embarrassed or cheap anyway. No matter how we dress.

I must be very, very ugly. I never got that feeling. And no male doctor has ever rubbed my back (except for a chiropractor who was trying to adjust it).

I have lots of male relatives and male in-laws and two sons and two brothers. None of them have ever even jokingly referred to women as slabs of meat. I suspect you are misunderstanding something.

I must be very, very ugly. I never got that feeling. And no male doctor has ever rubbed my back (except for a chiropractor who was trying to adjust it).

I have lots of male relatives and male in-laws and two sons and two brothers. None of them have ever even jokingly referred to women as slabs of meat. I suspect you are misunderstanding something.


Once again OP is seeking attention - no man ever made me feel like a piece of meat.

And in some cases, yes, people should not reproduce.

I must be very, very ugly. I never got that feeling. And no male doctor has ever rubbed my back (except for a chiropractor who was trying to adjust it).

I have lots of male relatives and male in-laws and two sons and two brothers. None of them have ever even jokingly referred to women as slabs of meat. I suspect you are misunderstanding something.



I don't see how's someone can 'seek' attention from a bunch of peoples they don't even know on the internet -- what good is that going to do a person? Here's a novel idea: maybe I'm asking question to see if anyone else have gone through this! Go figure... Once again Judy is being a *blank* and a wrong one at that, LOL. I won't be responding directly to her anymore...


Anyway --

No I am not saying you're very ugly or other women. I just saying I noticed the men do this quite a lot in public. If you talks to them like at a store in the sales dept. they stare at your breasts and/or lick their lips and stuff. Its extremely uncomfortable. They don't even talks to your face. It doesn't matter how you're dressed.

Imo like I said I think they do it to demeans the women and show them they are below them in status or something. I do not know if I am misunderstand something or not. But can't believe I'm only woman in world notices men stares at women in a sexual manner. Oh well.

You are guessing wrong then. if you reads the OP you would see I said the exact opposite.....

the human race needs to die tomorrow.

anyways i was just saying i finds it to be disgusting and annoying how they are and how they stares at the women's bodies like slabs of meat.....the whole point of them doing it is to try and make the women feel dirty, embarrassed or cheap anyways. no matter how we dress.

Get help... you need it. You are not having normal thoughts or thinking along the lines a normal person thinks.

Seriously... I have known thousands of people so far on a first name basis... I've met magnitudes more.

Not ONE person has ever shared that line of thought... seek professional help. Its not too late.

And if you don't think WOMEN do the very same thing... then you are completely wrong, because most women do as well. Its not just guys that do it. All normal people do this.

Get help....you need it. You are not having normal thoughts or thinking along the lines a normal person thinks.


You not bes understanding the problem.

Get help....you need it. You are not having normal thoughts or thinking along the lines a normal person thinks.

Seriously...I have known thousands of people so far on a first name basis...I've met magnitudes more.

Not ONE person has ever shared that line of thought....seek professional help. Its not too late.



I am in a therapy for awhile now. But we do not talks about these type of thing.

If no one you know nor yourself have ever had these thougths that is fine. Just asking.

iam in a therapy for awhile now. but we do not talks about these type of thing.

if no one you know nor yourself have ever had these thougths that is fine. just asking.

The fact nobody I know (or that they know too) thinks like this IS indicative that its really NOT a common way of thinking. And perhaps you should bring this up during the therapy sessions. It can't be addressed unless you do. And it REALLY does need addressed.

My jobs have had me in contact with large numbers of people... plus the fact I'm fairly extroverted and talk easily to a lot of people. This is something you would not be able to hide from others.

This is something that WILL negatively affect you quality of life and your ability to interact with others.

cant beleive i'm only woman in world notices men stares at women in a sexual manner. oh well.
I think you are. I have yet to hear a woman complain about such a thing. And I have been around for a long, long time.

I think you are. I have yet to hear a woman complain about such a thing. And I have been around for a long, long time.


I was a bikini waitress - I didn't have this problem then and I don't have it now.

Let's all post photos of ourselves!

I think you are. I have yet to hear a woman complain about such a thing. And I have been around for a long, long time.

All right well ad that to 'freak list' of my life then. Never mind.

iam in a therapy for awhile now. but we do not talks about these type of thing.
Why not? You should be.

I'm slow on the uptake today and this was just pointed out to me -

Lipsticklenas in my area are feminine Lesbians. Never occurred to me. Yes, I think that it would be possible for a lipsticklena to assume all men were looking at their bodies, totally unwanted attention.

This would also explain the lack of sexuality when men are involved in the other thread.

I'm slow on the uptake today and this was just pointed out to me -

Lipsticklenas in my area are feminine Lesbians. Never occurred to me. Yes, I think that it would be possible for a lipsticklena to assume all men were looking at their bodies, totally unwanted attention.

This would also explain the lack of sexuality when men are involved in the other thread.

SO would she be just as upset if Lesbians looked at her and why would that be any different?

Hi, smoothy -- next time you want a response about me you should probably asks me don't you think. I am NOT lesbian and don't know anything about lipstick whatevers. 'Lena' is a part of my first name. I am straight woman who is attracted to male. I do not talks to the males because I don't know what to say or anything like that. It makes no sense to me because of Asperger. If they don't talk to me then I don't talk to them.

SO would she be just as upset if Lesbians looked at her and why would that be any different?


No, I'm thinking issues with men, women who attempt to attract men just to shut them down.

if they don't talk to me then i don't talk to them.
What could they talk about that would interest you?

You've got asperger. That makes sense.

Your high functioning form of autism allows for a great many things. The unfortunate part is you're getting the world without some of the filters that we have in place. Some of us would filter out a lot of what you're noticing.

Men look at parts of the woman's body they like. This is a subconscious thing that a lot of the time we don't realize we're doing. It isn't that we're undressing you and fantasying about you. It is more that we're checking out the goods. It isn't intention but a biological cue that has been left over.

Most women don't notice it, but if they do it is something they ignore. It happens. Men will check out your chest and butt, legs and face. A lot of what you're also seeing is what we see as common person interaction. It isn't meant in a sexual context but when looked at harshly can be considered such.

Unless it is REALLY obvious and really bad, I would pay it no mind. Call them on it. "Eyes up here mister."

What could they talk about that would interest you?

I don't know. Stuff that the men is not interested in at all anyway like books cooking board game learning skills on youtubes. It don't matter only thing they does is look sexually but they don't start conversation with me about anything unless related to department sales. They mostly ignores me for conversations. If they likes you they will come up and talk to you if they don't do that then they don't like you (but would be open to use the woman for sex if she is for that).

You and your counselor need to do some serious role playing.

Hi, smoothy -- next time you want a response about me you should probably asks me don't you think. I am NOT lesbian and don't kno anything about lipstick whatevers. 'Lena' is a part of my first name. I am straight woman who is attracted to male. i do not talks to the males because i don't know what to say or anything like that. it makes no sense to me b/c of Asperger. if they don't talk to me then i don't talk to them.

I didn't call you one... just clarifying the coincidence of the simularity of your username to a term used by certain Lesbians. Ok... you are straight... I'm cool with that. Read my post you will see I didn't.

You don't HAVE to talk to everyone that talks to you, or looks at you. But the fact you get so freaked out that ANY person looks at another person and that normal adults might have normal sexual thoughts is the real problem here.

Heck... with half the people I may speak to in my life neither of us even knows the others name... nor do we even ask unless we know we will be dealing with each other in the future.

Heck I consider myself an average decent looking guy. No Adonis... but a lady friend of mine once pointed out how many women were actually looking at me when I wasn't looking (WAY more than I ever thought), went with her to the store when she was selecting a computer and wanted my expertise to help her decide... that was a compliment to me... not an insult.

What kind roleplaying. I am too embarrassed. We do a mocks interview and I hate it and refuse do that again. I am just embarrass to be seen anyway.

what kind roleplaying. i am too embarrassed. we do a mocks interview and i hate it and refuse do that again. i am just embarass to be seen anyways.
You and your counselor pretend you are at a social gathering. One of you be a man and the other one be you. Meet and have a conversation. Then trade places.

I didn't call you one.....just clarifying the coincidence of the simularity of your username to a term used by certain Lesbians. Ok...you are straight...I'm cool with that. Read my post you will see I didn't.

You don't HAVE to talk to everyone that talks to you, or looks at you. But the fact you get so freaked out that ANY person looks at another person and that normal adults might have normal sexual thoughts is the real problem here.

Heck...with half the people I may speak to in my life neither of us even knows the others name...nor do we even ask unless we know we will be dealing with each other in the future.

Heck I consider myself an average decent looking guy. No Adonis....but a lady friend of mine once pointed out how many women were actually looking at me when I wasn't looking (WAY more than I ever thought), went with her to the store when she was selecting a computer and wanted my expertise to help her decide....that was a compliment to me....not an insult.


I do not like it and it make me angry they are having 'sexual' thoughts and its obvious. Okay it is not right but I do not have any ways fixing it. My therapist is young, pretty, married lady with a hot husband. I am too embarrassed, she already think I am a freak as it is. Sigh

Maybe you feels it's a compliment and like it because you are a man. I do not understand it. It just make me feel sick. No offense I feel most of the men want to take sex advantage of women if that's possible for them.

Okay if this make sense. I wishes there were men who were not control by their penis/sexuality.

You and your counselor pretend you are at a social gathering. One of you be a man and the other one be you. Meet and have a conversation. Then trade places.

I am WAY to ashame to do that. She will be judging me and seeing how pathetic I am in that situation. A man come to me in a grocery store only one time last year and asks me my name. I don't know why. I got away from him in there. He was trying to embarrass me and other people were around and saw the whole thing happen. I just wanted to get out of there.

my therapist is young, pretty, married lady with a hot husband.
And you are upset with what you think people are thinking about YOU??

i am WAY to ashame to do that. she will be judging me and seeing how pathetic i am in that situation. a man come to me in a grocery store only one time last year and asks me my name. i dont know why. i got away from him in there. he was trying to embarrass me and other people were around and saw the whole thing happen. i just wanted to get out of there.
If you don't roleplay and practice being in a social situation, you will never get past these paranoid ideas you have. I so want to call your counselor.

And you are upset with what you think people are thinking about YOU????

Haha. Wondergirls you are a good person and its too bad you are not my counselors. What a shame. I mean I like my lady and everything.

It is true about her she's consider pretty. She look like jessica simpsons. I was embarrass when her husband come to the office. He tried to talk to me in there. He probably was compare me to his wife that is what men do. They compares the women body wise. I don't know why you don't care.

If you don't roleplay and practice being in a social situation, you will never get past these paranoid ideas you have. I so want to call your counselor.

Why do you feels they are paranoid. You know for fact men compares women's bodies. Don't even try and lie about that one.

why do you feels they are paranoid. you know for fact men compares womens bodies. don't even try and lie about that one.
And you called your counselor's husband "hot."

Paranoia = everyone is against me, no one like me, I'm a failure

i do not like it and it make me angry they are having 'sexual' thoughts and its obvious. okay it is not right but i do not have any ways fixing it. my therapist is young, pretty, married lady with a hot husband. i am too embarrassed, she already think i am a freak as it is. sigh

maybe you feels it's a compliment and like it because you are a man. i do not understand it. it just make me feel sick. no offense i feel most of the men want to take sex advantage of women if that's possible for them.

okay if this make sense. i wishes there were men who were not control by their penis/sexuality.
Most women also take it as a complement..

You might also want to consider that if this therapist isn't working out you might want to try another. Its not unusual to find such a thing because certain styles work better with certain patients than others will.

Well, its NOT going to happen... guys always have and always will do it, women do the very same thing towards guys and they always have. In fact it happens everywhere else in the animal kingdom. Not just among humans. Just watch National geographic or enough wildlife shows and you will see.

Most women also take it as a complement..

You might also want to consider that if this therapist isn't working out you might want to try another. Its not unusually to find such a thing because certain styles work better with certain patients than others will.

Well, its NOT going to happen...guys always have and always will do it, women do the very same thing towards guys and they always have. In fact it happens everywhere else in the animal kingdom. Not just among humans. Just watch National geographic or enough wildlife shows and you will see.


You're about to get reddied in broken English.

Most women also take it as a complement..

You might also want to consider that if this therapist isn't working out you might want to try another. Its not unusual to find such a thing because certain styles work better with certain patients than others will.

Well, its NOT going to happen...guys always have and always will do it, women do the very same thing towards guys and they always have. In fact it happens everywhere else in the animal kingdom. Not just among humans. Just watch National geographic or enough wildlife shows and you will see.

I do thebest I can. I have some problem with my eye sight/motor skills from a brain injury when I was a child I fell head firsts off a scooter . I don't care nothing about people making fun of mefor it. If anyone is displaying desperation for attention it's them at this moment, if they have better thing to do, they'd be doing them by now, LOL...

Anyway -- I have a gone to different therapist before and I cannot switch again because of my insurance is limited. I do not believe in the CBT therapy she have been doing with me for al ong time now. I think it's bogus.

Sometime I would like to try to goes on just one date in my life. But then again I am very disgusted by the mens pursuance of sex. It is something that cannot be gotten around I suppose just like you said its all over animal kingdom. I don't belong here then.

Tell me one CBT technique she has used with you.

Tell me one CBT technique she has used with you.

She do a positive affirmation and I am suppose say them everyday in the mirror and I did it and stop for 2 days. It's really stupid and make no sense.

Another thing we do is she tell me stop think negative and change it around. Instead of saying I will never gets a job say I will get a job if I keeps applying. She say if I keep saying I will not get hired then that's what's going to happen then.

Whatever. I don't even believe anyone will ever hires me and (again she say that's negative thinking). I don't care anymore. Common sense and no reason believe otherwise wonder girl.

So have you been applying for jobs?

Yes I apply for jobs every other day. Last two week I have applied for 14 jobs. Sometime I cannot applies because of 2 reasons: I am too scared when I reads the descrpition then start thinking I cannot do it and will not be liked when I go there. And 2, sometime it's the same jobs over and over again that's getting posted. They always email me and say they have picked someone else that's better then me for the job :(

Do you have a job coach?

I got a lady that does job searching forme through the county. She say I have really messed myself over by not being more together at my age, she said I don't even have enough work experience so she don't know how she is supposed to find me a good job but she looks for them anyway.

Anyway tell meabout some of your son/husband asperger traits.

My husband is the perfect Asperger's person--he has all the characteristics: social anxiety, physical oversensitivity, odd sense of humor, is very good at one or two things, but not many other things, is clumsy (can't dance, can't bowl, can't run, drops things), can't understand how other people feel with their emotions. And he has learned how to cope with these characteristics or rise above them.

Our older son (the library worker) has hyperlexia, not Asperger's.

a man come to me in a grocery store only one time last year and asks me my name. i dont know why. i got away from him in there. he was trying to embarrass me and other people were around and saw the whole thing happen. i just wanted to get out of there.

Is that all he did, was ask your name? How did he embarrass you?

Look, I am going to level with you here. Men are going to say things. Things you may or may not like. Same with women. PEOPLE, in general are going to say things. Just let it go in one ear and out the other. Perhaps try focusing on the good parts, like the fact that this man in the store approached you. He may have thought you were not only pretty, but that you looked nice. Maybe he wanted to have lunch with you. Maybe not. Hell, you may have passed up a great opportunity with a decent man. Not all men behave in such a manner that you stress.

Look, I am a woman, and I look at breasts. I like looking at breasts, and NOBODY can or will stop me. Doesn't mean I am a lesbian. No, I just appreciate the female body. Women are beautiful! Take it for what it is...

I DO see that there is more back story here, which could be why you possess type of behavior, in which I will not go into detail. I see that WG is doing a great job at answering certain questions for you. I only answered what your OP asked.

That being said, try not to let these things bother you. Try not to get angry about it. Look at it this way, you are blessed to look the way you do (assuming you are attractive) and there are many people who wished that they got some attention ANY attention.

Make sense?

You know what? Come to think of it... Why did you choose Red Lipstick for your user name? When I think of "red" lipstick, I think of flashy, seductive, bold, sexy, sensual... For someone who does NOT like a certain type of attention, you sure picked an attention getting user name.

... just saying

You know what? Come to think of it.... Why did you choose Red Lipstick for your user name? When I think of "red" lipstick, I think of flashy, seductive, bold, sexy, sensual.... For someone who does NOT like a certain type of attention, you sure picked an attention getting user name.

....just sayin



Are you serious? It's a damn username. Come on. Get real. You think a username is what I say in real life too? Please. As I said before 'lena' is a part of my reals name. And for the record I don'teven wear makeup. So go figure that one out.

My husband is the perfect Asperger's person--he has all the characteristics: social anxiety, physical oversensitivity, odd sense of humor, is very good at one or two things, but not many other things, is clumsy (can't dance, can't bowl, can't run, drops things), can't understand how other people feel with their emotions. And he has learned how to cope with these characteristics or rise above them.

Our older son (the library worker) has hyperlexia, not Asperger's.

I have all the same problem he have. Excepts I live alone and he doesn't. He likes being aspergers now probably since finding a place to belong. Mostlyif you're a woman and like that with those kind of problems you get pushed aside or put in the pile nobody wants anything to do with.

Is that all he did, was ask your name? How did he embarrass you?

Look, I am going to level with you here. Men are going to say things. Things you may or may not like. Same with women. PEOPLE, in general are going to say things. Just let it go in one ear and out the other. Perhaps try focussing on the good parts, like the fact that this man in the store approached you. He may have thought you were not only pretty, but that you looked nice. Maybe he wanted to have lunch with you. Maybe not. Hell, you may have passed up a great opportunity with a decent man. Not all men behave in such a manner that you stress.

Look, I am a woman, and I look at breasts. I like looking at breasts, and NOBODY can or will stop me. Doesn't mean I am a lesbian. No, I just appreciate the female body. Women are beautiful! Take it for what it is....

I DO see that there is more back story here, which could be why you possess type of behavior, in which I will not go into detail. I see that WG is doing a great job at answering certain questions for you. I only answered what your OP asked.

That being said, try not to let these things bother you. Try not to get angry about it. Look at it this way, you are blessed to look the way you do (assuming you are attractive) and there are many people who wished that they got some attention ANY attention.

Make sense?


Yes he ask what my name was I don'tk now what he wanted, he was stranger. I got the heck out of that store immediately. It was embarrassing some man coming up and trying to talk to me and people were watching how it was going to unfold. I did not know what to do besides leave.

I just would have like to try one date sometime that's all. But I am not the type of person that should even bother with this kind of thing. Sigh. That's why I thinks I'm probablybetter off dead. This world is not for me at all.

No I am not attractive I just have big boobs. And despite what you think I do not like it at all it is uncomfortable having your breast stared at. People should look at your face. You are probably making other peoples uncomfortable by doing that to them and I don't know why you do it. It's not right... if you are a woman and LIKE to have your body looked at by stranger men then again thatsreally weird IMO and I don't get it.

I just feel sick and disgusted. I am tired of hearing about what''s natural for men and women and their sexual natures. If you do not understand theni am not sure how to explain it.

i have all the same problem he have. excepts i live alone and he doesn't. he likes being aspergers now probably since finding a place to belong. mostlyif you're a woman and like that with those kind of problems you get pushed aside or put in the pile nobody wants anything to do with.
No, he doesn't like Asperger's, but he is willing to do his best to cope and has a good attitude. My friend Joel has Asperger's and is a college grad and can't find a job, but he is coping too.

I am pretty sure it is not your Asperger's that is holding you back.

I just have big boobs. And despite what you think I do not like it at all it is uncomfortable having your breast stared at. People should look at your face.

I bet mine are bigger, and it doesn't bother me at all when people look. When they're being creepy about it I just say "My eyes are up here", and point to my face. Usually they laugh it off, and so do I. Not a big deal.


you are probably making other peoples uncomfortable by doing that to them and I don't know why you do it. It's not right... if you are a woman and LIKE to have your body looked at by stranger men then again thatsreally weird IMO and I don't get it.

You really can't judge other people, because you're not the norm. It makes you uncomfortable, but the majority of women out there find it flattering. But then, your last sentence in this post really says it all. In your opinion it's weird, and you don't get it. But that's just you, not the majority.

Can't be easy being challenged with a cognitive behavior disorder, and have low self esteem and confidence issues, and purely prejudiced against men. Fear is a powerful obstacle.

Did I mention the deficit in coping skills that not only affect how you deal with the flaws of others, but your own as well?

I bet mine are bigger, and it doesn't bother me at all when people look. When they're being creepy about it I just say "My eyes are up here", and point to my face. Usually they laugh it off, and so do I. Not a big deal.



You really can't judge other people, because you're not the norm. It makes you uncomfortable, but the majority of women out there find it flattering. But then, your last sentence in this post really says it all. In your opinion it's weird, and you don't get it. But that's just you, not the majority.



Yea well that's why I'm getting off the god*damn planet. Don't beleong here. Since its so flattering and they like it good luck with it.

are you serious? it's a damn username. come on. get real. you think a username is what i say in real life too? please. as i said before 'lena' is a part of my reals name. and for the record i don'teven wear makeup. so go figure that one out.

WOW! Your people skills are improving along with your spelling as you go on... wait... no they're not!

Lena, what is it you want from us? We ALL answered your questions. Now, maybe they are not what you wanted OR expected. But we answered.

This thread has gone on long enough...

Bottom line here. People look. Get over it. You are sick and you need help. Now you want to die? Why? Because you have big boobs that men look at? Who cares. Let's take a look at the 10 year boy who has terminal cancer and only has six months to live... OR, how about the six year old girl who contracted HIV through a blood transfusion and only have a little time left to live. Yes. Yes. These kids have NO choice and WANT to live... Then we have YOU, who wants to die over such foolish things! I don't care if you have a mental disorder or aspergers or paranoia... I have a good friend who has autism and Aspergers AND ADHD, and she STILL goes to college (4.0) in active in sports, works as well as volunteers of hospitals. So... I don't want to hear this sob story. You have a life, so live it! Quit your b!tching and pick up a hobby, because quite frankly, I am getting sick of you hot and cold behavior, as well as insulting members (Judy). You are beginning to wear my patience thin!

Can't be easy being challenged with a cognitive behavior disorder, and have low self esteem and confidence issues, and purely prejudiced against men. Fear is a powerful obstacle.

Did I mention the deficit in coping skills that not only affect how you deal with the flaws of others, but your own as well?

I guess any women's don't like their bodies being stared at by men like animals. Are prejudiced against them. What else is new

And I do not even know what you mean by coping skills that's deficit. Its probably some kind of insult. Again nothing new from people

No, he doesn't like Asperger's, but he is willing to do his best to cope and has a good attitude. My friend Joel has Asperger's and is a college grad and can't find a job, but he is coping too.

I am pretty sure it is not your Asperger's that is holding you back.

BRAVO! Exactly my thought!

No insult at all just an observation since many of us encounter people and situations we don't like and really have little control over. We devise strategies for these situations tocopw with them,thus coping skills.

Just because a guy stares at your boobs, or slobs at the mouth doesn't mean all guys are like that (but I concede some of us are animals and inconsiderate morons... just as much as females to be fair!). And I doubt if you have met all the guys in the world and think your experience with them is flawed by condition, experience, or background since its so way over the top and hardly could be a fact.

So why do you hate men, who taught you this? Look tell me what you are really scared of.

No, he doesn't like Asperger's, but he is willing to do his best to cope and has a good attitude. My friend Joel has Asperger's and is a college grad and can't find a job, but he is coping too.

I am pretty sure it is not your Asperger's that is holding you back.

Well good for them then. I can't finds a job and never could find anything solid. So what the hell am I doing here's then? No reason to be

No insult at all just an observation since many of us encounter people and situations we don't like and really have little control over. We devise strategies for these situations tocopw with them,thus coping skills.

Just because a guy stares at your boobs, or slobs at the mouth doesn't mean all guys are like that (but I concede some of us are animals and inconsiderate morons............just as much as females to be fair!). And I doubt if you have met all the guys in the world and think your experience with them is flawed by condition, experience, or background since its so way over the top and hardly could be a fact.

So why do you hate men, who taught you this? Look tell me what you are really scared of.

Oh okay it was not a insult. Well my copingskill is thinking about trying to ways for suicide. That's what happen anytime I get stress and want to get the hell out of here. There's nothing here for me anymore.

All I can hear about are people telling me how others get by and how 'oh they are able to do this and that.' well good for them then. I am tired of trying and want out.

No I have not met all the men but 95 percent of them is all about sex and how quick they can get it. They say something wrong with woman in my age group that's not experienced. They never give me a chance in the first place. And I didn't say I hate men you said that. I do not understands the men and that's another thing I'm tired of trying. No point. You have a window of time like 15 to 25 to be a normal woman and if it don't happen they writes you off as worthless and/or crazy.

A lot of the men try to do FWB or one night stand because it's a quick way forthem to get sex without no effort towards the woman. I think they are disgusting in their behaviors sorry to say. They do not want you if you cannot give them regular sexual favors

I have to many fun hobbies and interesting people to be thinking of suicide when I am stressed. I have to many cool people in my life to even sweat the actions of morons.

Do you have any male friends, or males you trust? How about your hobbies and interests? How about your mom and dad? Do you get along with them? Any siblings?

Generally what culture are you from? I am nosy aren't I? Why are you afraid to try things that may benefit you?

What sort of men are you meeting and where are you meeting them that you came to the conclusion that 95% of them are sex fiend pigs?

I have to say that I know many men, and out of all the men I know maybe 1% are only after sex. Even then, they're not nearly as bad as what you described.

I find it sad that every time something happens that you can't handle, you want to kill yourself. I also find it very sad that the things that you can't handle are things that happen in daily life to most of the population on this planet.

I know you're in therapy, does your therapist help you learn to cope with every day life, things that most people would brush off, but you find debilitating?

What sort of men are you meeting and where are you meeting them that you came to the conclusion that 95% of them are sex fiend pigs?

I have to say that I know many men, and out of all the men I know maybe 1% are only after sex. Even then, they're not nearly as bad as what you described.

I find it sad that every time something happens that you can't handle, you want to kill yourself. I also find it very sad that the things that you can't handle are things that happen in daily life to most of the population on this planet.

I know you're in therapy, does your therapist help you learn to cope with every day life, things that most people would brush off, but you find debilitating?


Please you people don't put words in my mouth. I never said anythingabout a sex fiend pig. Or whatever.

If these thing happen to everyone on the planet, I'm not everyone on the planet and good for them though. My therapist cannot helps me with everyday life. I don't know what she is suppose to do for a person with an f'ed up brain that is programmed for suicide every day. Only reasons I go toher is to talk to somebody. She can't helpme anymore. She say don't think negative and that's it. I do not talks to her about the men. She doesn't get it at all. She just say 'stay away from them then' if I have issues.

Its funny you say so little of the men aren't all about sex, really? Howmany of them open to being with women with little to no experiences at my age?/ let me tell you mostly none. They LABEL us as crazy and/or not worth the hassle when there's so many to choose from that's not freaks. I knowthis from all the stupid times I try to get date like 'everyone else on the planet' as you put it. They are always 'not that bad' when you are a normal everyday kind of women try not being like that and then see how they are with you. You will learn a lot then about how 'great' and 'amazing' they are.

I wish I could ask you to PM your therapist's phone number to me so she and I could figure out what to do with you. But then you'd block both of us like you do her in real life and me here.

Lena, how old are you?

Were you sexually abused by a man, ever?

I have to many fun hobbies and interesting people to be thinking of suicide when I am stressed. I have to many cool people in my life to even sweat the actions of morons.

Do you have any male friends, or males you trust? How about your hobbies and interests? How about your mom and dad? Do you get along with them? Any siblings?

Generally what culture are you from? I am nosy aren't I? Why are you afraid to try things that may benefit you?

If you have a lot of people in your life and fun hobby good for you sound like everyone else that's normal and not a freak. Must be nice to fit in. I have never and will never know that world. Well what are your hobbies? Are you a married man or a player? Do you have kids? Yes you are a nosey type of person but this is a board for that type of thing. None of my hobbies involves men unless you count the online porn in that. Which is also disgusting me how they behave in those settings.

I am a black woman. I live and born in nj and in the suburbs. My parents is dead. I have a sister and brother I barely talks to. People don't have time for me and my weirdways of living. I lives by myself. My sister was abuse me when I was little and she takes advantage of me as an adult too that's why I don't live near her anymore. She ruin my first car with running it into a ditch.

I got a aunt sends me money in another state every month. I do not have ANY friends whatsoever. I drop old friends I had years ago. They gets married move in with boyfriend or have kid. I am a loser and have none of that so why bother embarrassing myself with them. I mostly stays in the house. I do not interacts with people too good. I just want to be normal but its not happeningat this age of 32. I can forget it best thing someone like me can do is off myself and save everyone else the trouble of being bother with me and my problems every other day... I use to have male friend in school but not anymore.


Only hobbies I have are going to library reading books doing knitting off YouTube watching TV and cooking. I cannot join too many group because of anxiety and not fitting in. I tried too many time and I am very scared try new thing because in past it never works out for me. Went to therapy women group a few weeks ago and didn't fit in there. I hated it. I do not belong here.

Some people there is no hope for and not sure how you can say otherwise, proof is in the pidding as they say.

I am a loser and have none of that so why bother embarrassing myself with them. I mostly stays in the house. I do not interacts with people too good. I just want to be normal but its not happeningat this age of 32. I can forget it best thing someone like me can do is off myself and save everyone else the trouble of being bother with me and my problems every other day... I use to have male friend in school but not anymore.

You had friends and you pushed them away.

You want to date but stay at home all the time and don't interact with people.

You think you don't date because you're weird. I will say that your thought process isn't the norm, but I don't think that's really the problem here. I think the problem is that you isolate yourself, don't meet people, and instead of doing something to change that, you blame the people that never get the chance to know you.

Your problem is that you're not willing to try. You're too happy being miserable and blaming the world and your mental issues instead of working with what you have and trying to make your life work for you.

You're right, we can't help you. You want to know why? Because in order for us to help, you would have to really want to change. You'd have to get out of your comfort zone, stop blaming the entire world for your problems, and you'd actually have to try. You're not willing to do that, and we can't make you do it, therefore we can't help you. You're too busy having a pity party to listen and try to help yourself.

Good luck with that.

You had friends and you pushed them away.

You want to date but stay at home all the time and don't interact with people.

You think you don't date because you're weird. I will say that your thought process isn't the norm, but I don't think that's really the problem here. I think the problem is that you isolate yourself, don't meet people, and instead of doing something to change that, you blame the people that never get the chance to know you.

Your problem is that you're not willing to try. You're too happy being miserable and blaming the world and your mental issues instead of working with what you have and trying to make your life work for you.

You're right, we can't help you. You want to know why? Because in order for us to help, you would have to really want to change. You'd have to get out of your comfort zone, stop blaming the entire world for your problems, and you'd actually have to try. You're not willing to do that, and we can't make you do it, therefore we can't help you. You're too busy having a pity party to listen and try to help yourself.

Good luck with that.


I'm glad so many of you are on such a highhorse you can come into the thread throwaround the how's and why I am a failure and call it a pity party when I was looking for understanding. I HAVE TRIED TO DO THINGS. Since you don't ask or even know what they are you can't make a valid assumptions like you just did. You have absoutely no idea what all I have been through and tried in life. If you did maybe you wouldn't be so uppity about 'well stop blaming your problems on everyone else and being happy miserable' etc. (btw none of which I actually said or is even close to the truth). I am not blaming everyone for my problem I am blaming myself for sticking around here day after day when I know all this time I do not fit in and will not ever fit in. how is that blaming everyone else? It's not.


Ironically this is EXACTLY why I do stay in the house it doesn't matter what you say to people they reacts like you did with their 'oh you want to be unhappy and alone' Bullsh*t. wrong, wrong, wrong. They get somethingout of driving by a person and throwing stuff in their face instead of really being kind to help. But who cares anymore there's no dealing with people they know it all about you and you know nothing about yourself and experiences in life.if you really did know what you were talkingabout you would know 2 or 3 week ago I tried to do something new and fail at it. So there goes half of your incorrect assessment of my efforts in life.

If you're so much better then me don't waste anymore time on me go help someone you feels deserve it and need it.

LOL, the only difference between me and you is I am happy with myself, and know what makes me happy, because nobody that knows me has ever called me normal. We are all unique and far from perfect because we all have our own challenges.

Your fear of failure has you angry at the world and its not the worlds fault you have isolated yourself,and afraid to build a life that you enjoy. I know that's never as easy as it looks, but a challenge to rise to, not run from.

Your fears have you stuck on what normal is, and you fail to explore what's normal for YOU!! Let go of your fear and hate,

Love yourself when others don't, that's the secret to my confidence, and I learned that lesson the hard way. You don't have to!!! Invent your own normal, and make a friend or two.
Take a job and challenge yourself to learn it, and master it. Take a class to get the skills, and then use them.

Let go of your fear and hate and stop b1tching about the many flaws of others. Yeah I'm a nosy old guy with grand kids and I know how to succeed, and thrive and survive, and relish the challenges that bring out the best in me.

Let go of your fear and hate, because when you start loving yourself, you will treat yourself a whole lot better than you do now and won't be afraid to take a chance on being happy. Like Alty said, get off that pity pot and live a lot better.

If you give others a half a chance, they will respond positively. You have come to the right place for love and guidance, and that to me means you want some love and guidance. Now smile and drop the attitude. WELCOME!

Now what makes you happy, besides guy not looking at your boobs? And what kind of meds are you on? You are from Jersey, and most black people live in Newark, there are some interesting things happening there for you to check out.

Ask your job counsellor about training opportunities. Go for it!!

i'm glad so many of you are on such a highhorse you can come into the thread throwaround the hows and why i am a failure and call it a pity party when i was looking for understanding. i HAVE TRIED TO DO THINGS. since you dont ask or even kno what they are you can't make a valid assumptions like you just did. you have absoutely no idea what all i ahve been through and tried in life. if you did maybe you wouldnt be so uppity about 'well stop blaming your problems on everyone else and being happy miserable' etc. (btw none of which i actually said or is even close to the truth). i am not blaming everyone for my problem i am blaming myself for sticking around here day after day when i kno all this time i do not fit in and will not ever fit in. how is that blaming everyone else?? it's not.


ironically this is EXACTLY why i do stay in the house it doesnt matter what you say to people they reacts like you did with their 'oh you want to be unhappy and alone' Bullsh*t. wrong, wrong, wrong. they get somethingout of driving by a person and throwing stuff in their face instead of really being kind to help. but who cares anymore theres no dealing with people they know it all about you and you know nothing about yourself and experiences in life.if you really did know what you were talkingabout you would know 2 or 3 week ago I tried to do something new and fail at it. so there goes half of your incorrect assessment of my efforts in life.

if youre so much better then me don't waste anymore time on me go help someone you feels deserve it and need it.

The first step to overcome a problem is to FIRST ADMIT YOU HAVE ONE. THe second is being willing to take the steps needed to change.

As long as you think you are the only normal person and its everyone else that's wrong... you aren't going to get better.

And that's true not just for you, but for everyone else as well.

This is what I have learned about you from reading your posts:

Lena, I think you have tried different things. However, I think you try them once or without putting much effort into them so that when they fail your negative view of the world is reinforced. The failure also proves you were right. So why try again?

Your therapist is doing all that she can to help you but you don't understand why she wants you try something like role-playing. So you balk at it and it doesn't work. Turns into bashing her, therapy and yourself. She asks you to turn a negative thought into a positive one, but positive thoughts don't give you the same 'fix' that negative ones do, do they? Positive thoughts mean you have to allow something 'new' into your mind and life.

It is safer to be negative and bash the world around you for not understanding. If you keep the world at bay then you stand less of a chance of getting hurt.

Risking getting hurt is scary. Letting people in is scary. (I know. I have been there, done that and used the tee-shirt to mop up the melted ice.) It takes practice. Are you willing to give practicing new things a try? Very few things we do in life succeed on the first try or even the fifth. (... or millionth if we bring up my typing skills.)

It isn't easy to let go of one safety line and reach for another one even if the new one is better and stronger.

What do you think when I say that 'I like you'? I think there is such a beautiful and unique person hiding inside. Like the crystals hiding inside a geode. Yes, you are different. But then we all are in our own ways. Those differences make us unique. Wouldn't the world be a very dull place if everything and everyone was the same?

I believe you mentioned knitting as a hobby. Could it also be a way to make money?

I wrote a message here a while back and you never really responded to it. Ca Sera.

One thing you must realize is that we are all volunteers. We are here helping because we want to. What you seem to want is psychological help that precious few of us are really qualified to give. Those who are qualified are trying but it is either be ignored or the help degraded.

The basic question was in regards to men checking out your T!ts. Yea. We do that. Especially if they're really nice. Even if they're not we'll check them out. Some times A Cups are as nice to look at as some DDs. It doesn't mean that we're focused on you sexually. It is more of a fleeting thought before we get back to doing what we were doing.

Due to your Autism you notice this. The majority of women won't notice or if they do they'll ignore this. This is something special you have to deal with because you're different. You need to figure out what you want to do and how to do it as well. All anyone can be is a guide for you. All the therapists, doctors, and anonymous people on the internet can do is present you with options and suggestions on how to deal with this. Most of this comes from personal experience. We try to draw similarities between your situation and those we've seen before.

You're also being belligerent as well as threatening suicide. In my experience most people who threaten it are looking for attention. Those who truly want to die kill themselves and not make these claims. This has really dropped my urge you help you but has given me insight into you and your life.

I am also having a hard time not believing that you're not a troll. Mainly because a lot of the useful posts here are ignored and you only seem to respond to the ones that could get a rise out of us. Might just be your way of seeing the world. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt here.

So what can you do? Get off this planet as you said is an option. Not ideal, but an option. Think carefully about everyone you hurt by doing this. Your family and former friends. It is a selfish way out because you have to deal with it any more. The upside is that you don't have to deal with it any more.

You're stone walling your therapist. Stop it and get the serious help you need. I realize that you've only got a certain amount of energy to deal with people. Use it every day if it is only to go to the store. If you're concerned about people checking you out than go invisible. Get breast binders and wear baggy clothes. Show off as little as you can so people won't take notice of you.

There are ways of dealing with your life right now and I get that you're exasperated with your life. In the end life is a pile of sh!t. The people who are brave enough to dive in and sculpt what they want out of it are the ones who succeed. Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty.

I wrote a message here a while back and you never really responded to it. Ca Sera.
I am also having a hard time not believing that you're not a troll.
.

Yes and yes. I agree
She ONLY responds to who she wants to. She DOESN'T like ANY of the answers she is receiving from anyone! My hat goes off to Tal, who seems to be VERY tolerant of her behavior.

Guys... I hate to say it, but I think we are wasting our time here. Especially when I see that there are others how NEED and WANT our help!

This is what I have learned about you from reading your posts:

Lena, I think you have tried different things. However, I think you try them once or without putting much effort into them so that when they fail your negative view of the world is reinforced. The failure also proves you were right. So why try again?

Your therapist is doing all that she can to help you but you don't understand why she wants you try something like role-playing. So you balk at it and it doesn't work. Turns into bashing her, therapy and yourself. She asks you to turn a negative thought into a positive one, but positive thoughts don't give you the same 'fix' that negative ones do, do they? Positive thoughts mean you have to allow something 'new' into your mind and life.

It is safer to be negative and bash the world around you for not understanding. If you keep the world at bay then you stand less of a chance of getting hurt.

Risking getting hurt is scary. Letting people in is scary. (I know. I have been there, done that and used the tee-shirt to mop up the melted ice.) It takes practice. Are you willing to give practicing new things a try? Very few things we do in life succeed on the first try or even the fifth. (...or millionth if we bring up my typing skills.)

It isn't easy to let go of one safety line and reach for another one even if the new one is better and stronger.

What do you think when I say that 'I like you'? I think there is such a beautiful and unique person hiding inside. Like the crystals hiding inside a geode. Yes, you are different. But then we all are in our own ways. Those differences make us unique. Wouldn't the world be a very dull place if everything and everyone was the same?

I believe you mentioned knitting as a hobby. Could it also be a way to make money?


hello. People falsely believe that if oyu think negative, you LIKE it and want it and do it on purpose and I don't know where they get that but it's not true at all. I odn't 'get' anything of value out of it. I feels I am just telling the truth instead of lying like therapist suggest I do. Somebody on here in the messages system said I have to give example and not just say thing don't work out. Okay: the therapist lady tell me for like 4-5 month straight to join groups in the therapy office. I will not do it because I HATE groups and in past never fits in. I tell her this repeatedlyand she say just try it blah blah blah. Okay fine. I did that it was a stress relate group. I went to 2 meeting and barely can stay in there I want to leave and I never talked in there the whole time. This dumb man took over the whole meeting talking about his girlfriend forcinghim to wear condoms and he's allergic or whatever. I hated him for making everyone sit and listen to his sex life details. Everyone else seem to like it.

anyway the next time I did the group was a women group only. And there was ladys crying and I felt bad but I didn't say anything. It is very bizarre they sit there and tell all of their business and hug each other over it. I didn't hug anyone and the one lady claim I was too quiet for the group. I would NEVER tells them any of my business like that. They are stranger. I avoid making myself embarrassed because it do not feel good. I'm not going to do that for the therapist benefit. Sorry. I also hated that experience.

she said I am suppose to do positive affirmation every morning and all of it is garbage that I do not even remotely believe 'you are pretty' 'you have worth to others' ' you will finds a job soon' etc. etc. I got sick of lyingto a mirror so I stop doing it. Waste of time.

sooo... what I am sayingis I DO try things and just like I say, I hate them and they don't work out right. A lot of you people on here that keeps trying thing over and over again have had a success I have not. I am tired of trying and it have nothing do with pity party it have to do with reality.

oh I cannot makes money knitting because I am not good enough at that. I am learning off YouTube as I said before ihaveno real talents. If I did someone would have hired me by now.

Yes and yes. I agree
She ONLY responds to who she wants to. She DOESN'T like ANY of the answers she is receiving from anyone! My hat goes off to Tal, who seems to be VERY tolerant of her behavior.

Guys...I hate to say it, but I think we are wasting our time here. Especially when I see that there are others how NEED and WANT our help!


I have been saying this literally for months. I believe this person posted before under another screen name.

She posts her suicide threats which now include throwing herself under the subway and/or parking her car with the headlights out on a highway - taking other people along with her.

I have a real good idea why she can't find employment, but that's another issue.

I think this has turned into a chat site, something AMHD has always discouraged. It will be interesting the next time I post something and am reminded that this is NOT a chat site.

Someone else wants to be responsible when this person kills someone and has announced her intentions in advance and instead of shutting down shop it turns into a discussion?

I also see a lot of dislike of men (not that she doesn't dislike women, children and domestic animals of all kinds). Probably part of the paranoia. Then there's the whole self hatred thread running through the posts.

OP certainly dislikes me and is responsible for a large percentage of my "dislikes." Want to know why? Because I believe she had another user name, "conversation" was much the same, that person also lived in New Jersey.

Hmmm -

(Out of greenies for Enigma)

NON-SENSE I CLIPPED

anyways the next time i did the group was a women group only....

she said i am suppose to do positive affirmation every morning and all of it is garbage that i do not even remotely beleive 'you are pretty' .....

sooo...what i am sayingis i DO try things and just like i say, i hate them and they dont work out right. alot of you people on here that keeps trying thing over and over again have had a success i have not. i am tired of trying and it have nothing do with pity party it have to do with reality.

oh i cannot makes money knitting because i am not good enough at that. i am learning off of youtube as i said before ihaveno real talents. if i did someone would have hired me by now.

The therapist keeps telling you to do this and do that and you don't. Who do you think has the problem. If you don't eat your meat, how can you have any pudding?

You're stuck in your own little world and you're happy for it. You've already demonized everything you could do. So you stay there in your little world and be happy that you're miserable.

Do you understand what your therapist was trying to do with the groups and the affirmations? She was trying to get you out of your comfort zone. Get your more... socialized. The was the point of the group. To share what you want with anonymous groups of people. This has two effects. First you can verbalize things which helps getting them out of your overthinking mind. Second, since it is anonymous you can have no fear of having it come to bite you in the because, and let's be serious here, your social circle is so small you don't have any chance of running into them again. The other point is that you're socializing. You're learn social cues and you're picking up on things.

The affirmations might be lies. They might not be. They're an attempt to get you to think differently. Take a second look with out your own preconceived notions of yourself. They should be seen and used as little pieces of hope that shore things up. They set the tone for the day. For the slight chance of you getting an interview you will have the confidence not to screw it up like you usually do.

There is a rhyme and reason for everything that your therapist is want you to do. By not doing these you have only yourself to blame for the mess you're in.

Your problems. You figure out the solution. When you want help find it and actually use it. Until then... Don't bother us with this drivel.

The therapist keeps telling you to do this and do that and you don't. Who do you think has the problem. If you don't eat your meat, how can you have any pudding?

You're stuck in your own little world and you're happy for it. You've already demonized everything you could do. So you stay there in your little world and be happy that you're miserable.

Do you understand what your therapist was trying to do with the groups and the affirmations? She was trying to get you out of your comfort zone. Get your more... socialized. The was the point of the group. To share what you want with anonymous groups of people. This has two effects. First you can verbalize things which helps getting them out of your overthinking mind. Second, since it is anonymous you can have no fear of having it come to bite you in the because, and let's be serious here, your social circle is so small you don't have any chance of running into them again. The other point is that you're socializing. You're learn social cues and you're picking up on things.

The affirmations might be lies. They might not be. They're an attempt to get you to think differently. Take a second look with out your own preconceived notions of your self. They should be seen and used as little pieces of hope that shore things up. They set the tone for the day. For the slight chance of you getting an interview you will have the confidence not to screw it up like you usually do.

There is a rhyme and reason for everything that your therapist is want you to do. By not doing these you have only yourself to blame for the mess you're in.

Your problems. You figure out the solution. When you want help find it and actually use it. Until then... Don't bother us with this drivel.

Exactly... its clear she'd rather rant about everything than face the fact all her problems are both imaginary and self imposed.

I'm convinced she doesn't want help... she thinks the world should conform to her warped perspective rather than her making the changes she needs to make.

Unless she WANTS to change... then NOBODY walking this earth can help her. She's happy wallowing in her misery.

Yes she's got some real issues... but most people with those same issues are willing to try to better themselves within the range of their capacity, whatever that might be.

I say if she wants to be unhappy and alone... she's got it... she's worked hard to run everyone off that's tried to help her.

And she's been a huge success at it.

I don't lose a wink of sleep at night over it either. As an adult everyone is responsible for their own actions... and the fruit of those actions.

I really think you need therapy. There can be something in your subconscious mind that happened to you in your past pertaining to men. You've also probably tired to suppress it so much that you nearly forgot that it happened. There is no reason why you should be terrified of men. Men tend to be very sincere to women, it doesn't have to be regarding a sexual gesture or reason behind it. If they feel you are beautiful, they want to be nice so that they're noticed. Just attend a couple therapy sessions! You should be fine. :)

I'm a psychology major so I kind of know these things ;)

I really think you need therapy. There can be something in your subconscious mind that happened to you in your past pertaining to men. You've also probably tired to suppress it so much that you nearly forgot that it happened. There is no reason why you should be terrified of men. Men tend to be very sincere to women, it doesn't have to be regarding a sexual gesture or reason behind it. If they feel you are beautiful, they want to be nice so that they're noticed. Just attend a couple therapy sessions! You should be fine. :)

I'm a psychology major so I kinda know these things ;)I believe some people just can't be helped... and the OP's one of them. Maybe not when this thread started... but right now I do wholeheartedly. She doesn't WANT therapy. (been there doesn't take it serious).. she DOES want to be unhappy. If she can't complain about everything and everyone then her own existence is meaningless to her own mind.

I really think you need therapy. There can be something in your subconscious mind that happened to you in your past pertaining to men. You've also probably tired to suppress it so much that you nearly forgot that it happened. There is no reason why you should be terrified of men. Men tend to be very sincere to women, it doesn't have to be regarding a sexual gesture or reason behind it. If they feel you are beautiful, they want to be nice so that they're noticed. Just attend a couple therapy sessions! You should be fine. :)

I'm a psychology major so I kinda know these things ;)

Thank you for adding your advice. However, I highly suggest reading the entire thread to gain more information about the original question, follow-up questions, and the poster. Most threads contain more information that is covered in the op.

In this case, she has been to therapy and there are other extenuating circumstances that affect her perceptions.

I really think you need therapy. There can be something in your subconscious mind that happened to you in your past pertaining to men. You've also probably tired to suppress it so much that you nearly forgot that it happened. There is no reason why you should be terrified of men. Men tend to be very sincere to women, it doesn't have to be regarding a sexual gesture or reason behind it. If they feel you are beautiful, they want to be nice so that they're noticed. Just attend a couple therapy sessions! You should be fine. :)

I'm a psychology major so I kinda know these things ;)


I'm a Psych minor - did you actually read the entire thread and the other threads the OP has started?

I really think you need therapy. There can be something in your subconscious mind that happened to you in your past pertaining to men. You've also probably tired to suppress it so much that you nearly forgot that it happened. There is no reason why you should be terrified of men. Men tend to be very sincere to women, it doesn't have to be regarding a sexual gesture or reason behind it. If they feel you are beautiful, they want to be nice so that they're noticed. Just attend a couple therapy sessions! You should be fine. :)

I'm a psychology major so I kinda know these things ;)
I have a graduate degree in psych and am a professional counselor. She IS receiving therapy, but resists everything that is being tried or said there or here. Please read the entire thread before responding. Thank you.

I have a graduate degree in psych and am a professional counselor. She IS receiving therapy, but resists everything that is being tried or said there or here. Please read the entire thread before responding. Thank you.


Does a graduate degree trump a minor? Darn! But I sat closer to the front of the class than you did -

I am reminded of a dear friend. I see her often, but not as often as I used to. Any time we went out, the two of us, a group of us, there was ALWAYS a man who was "staring" at her, de-humanizing her, embarrassing her, upsetting her, staring at her breasts, her rear end, something else. The rest of us never had that problem, and none of us bark at and chase cars.

The less attention males paid to her the more she felt insulted.

Someone one of us works with sent a round of drinks to our table. She refused hers and sent it back because she was insulted, and he was making sexual overtures toward HER which apparently the rest of us didn't see/understand/recognize. Talk about being delusional.

It was (and is) entirely her perception.

One of my friends was in a national ad campaign - and yet "men" in general are focusing on this other person? I highly doubt it. Past history? As far as I know there is none.

I really think you need therapy. There can be something in your subconscious mind that happened to you in your past pertaining to men. You've also probably tired to suppress it so much that you nearly forgot that it happened. There is no reason why you should be terrified of men. Men tend to be very sincere to women, it doesn't have to be regarding a sexual gesture or reason behind it. If they feel you are beautiful, they want to be nice so that they're noticed. Just attend a couple therapy sessions! You should be fine. :)

I'm a psychology major so I kinda know these things ;)

I'm going to reiterate everything you've already been told. Reading the entire thread really is important. Had you done that you'd know that the OP (original poster) is in therapy, and rejects everything her therapist asks of her, just like she's rejected all the suggestions we've made on this thread.

If only it was so easy as to say "I'm a psych major and you need therapy". Trust me, we've already tried that, and she's already doing that, and it's not working.

This issue isn't as easy as telling someone to seek therapy. The issue is with the poster, and until she gets out of her own head and starts to listen, there's nothing anyone, not even a therapist, can do.

Does a graduate degree trump a minor? Darn! But I sat closer to the front of the class than you did -
I'm shorter than you are and sat in the front row. HA!

(As long as everyone was giving info on their psych credentials, I thought I would throw mine into the ring.)

You all got me beat... I just had one year of it in High School

You all got me beat....I just had one year of it in High School
*sigh* Well, we like you anyway -- and you have had an interesting lifetime of figuring out people.

I have a teenager, that should trump any psych degree. I have to be a psychologist every single day!

Sadly I took 1 year of law, a year of accounting, then I got a job as an underwriter and went back to college a third time. That time I did get my degree. What do I have to show for it? I work in retail for minimum wage. Yay me! :(

I have a teenager, that should trump any psych degree.


With some teens that can help a person qualify as a psychotic... but I'm certain not in your case.

With some teens that can help a person qualify as a psychotic....but I'm certain not in your case.

LMAO! There are times when psychosis sets in. Teens are a class among themselves. Thankfully he does have a good foundation, and a mom and dad that are always there for him. But teens are teens. Sigh.

Read her other posts and observe the dates and spelling and you will see a person who has been off the meds for sometime, and the regression is obvious.

I doubt the OP even knows it, let alone admits it. So lets be careful, and direct her back to reality and that has to start with the proper support and guidance.

Read her other posts and observe the dates and spelling and you will see a person who has been off the meds for sometime, and the regression is obvious.

I doubt the OP even knows it, let alone admits it. So lets be careful, and direct her back to reality and that has to start with the proper support and guidance.


I'm the first to admit I'm frustrated.

Do you have any suggestions? I'm sincere, not being sarcastic. Every suggestion is met with "No, because ..." Delusional or not delusional, now what happens?

This situation, I believe, requires one-on-one therapy. I've seen WG work miracles. Maybe everyone but WG should back off.

I don't know. I'm out of suggestions. I suspect other people are, too.

Finally, a positive response in her other thread: "yes i can follow direction and i could put the dvds on the shelf and the books too i think."

Read her other posts and observe the dates and spelling and you will see a person who has been off the meds for sometime, and the regression is obvious.

I doubt the OP even knows it, let alone admits it. So lets be careful, and direct her back to reality and that has to start with the proper support and guidance.

I agree, but I'm at a loss as how to go about support and guidance.

We've suggested all we can suggest, supported all we can support, and all we've gotten is negativity, unwillingness to listen, and whenever we don't agree with her, we get suicide threats.

I'll bow out, because I really have nothing more to add. I don't think anyone on this site can help this OP until she's willing to actually help herself.

I can feel bad for her, and hope she gets well, but I can't risk myself for her. I don't want to put myself into the position of once again losing sleep over someone on this site because they won't listen, and want to end it. Been there, done that.

I thought I could help. I tried, as did many others. The OP won't listen. So what's next? The only thing I can see anyone suggesting is that the OP get back on her meds. Maybe then we can help. Until then, I see very little anyone can do.

It's up to her, and only her. :(

Alty out.

Alty out.


- And I hope she doesn't take other people with her when she kills herself.

- Judy out.

When you look at this person, they may be trapped, but coming here is reaching out, and as frustrating as they may be to us just imagine how frustrated she is in her world.

Hope she comes back about the meds though, that's the missing piece we need to know. Call me a softy or whatever, but the thought of giving up on a valuable human being is not an option. We all have value, even if we are trapped in a very dark place.

When you look at this person, they may be trapped, but coming here is reaching out, and as frustrating as they may be to us just imagine how frustrated she is in her world.

Hope she comes back about the meds though, thats the missing piece we need to know. Call me a softy or whatever, but the thought of giving up on a valuable human being is not an option. We all have value, even if we are trapped in a very dark place.

Not disagreeing with you at all Tal. In fact, I agree 100%. She does have value. I'm not leaving this thread, or this OP, because she doesn't have value. I'm leaving before I say something I can't take back, and before I make things worse. I've been biting my tongue through every single one of this OP's 141 posts. Pretty good considering that it's me, but I do have a breaking point, and I've reached it with this OP.

In other words, I can't help her. I've accepted that I can't, and in order to not get too emotionally involved, I've chosen to leave.

If anyone can get through to her, you can, so she's in good hands. I'm not leaving her without support. I just can't be that support anymore. I can't keep trying and getting no where. I'm not good at it. :(

LOL Alty, no one will ever question your big heart at all, least of all not me, because we all want a good outcome.

I don't question that from any one that responded on this thread.

hello. people falsely belive that if oyu think negative, you LIKE it and want it and do it on purpose and i don't know where they get that but it's not true at all. i odn't 'get' anything of value out of it. i feels i am just telling the truth instead of lying like therapist suggest i do.

I don't think you like being negative. I think it is a protective shield and that protection is what you are getting out of it.

You don't like lying to yourself. I respect that. So instead of telling yourself what you see as a 'lie' what can you say that is positive and truthful to you? Let your therapist know that you need different affirmations than the ones she is giving you.

Telling the face in the mirror that you love them and promise to do right by them doesn't have to be a lie, make it a commitment.

Yes and yes. I agree
She ONLY responds to who she wants to. She DOESN'T like ANY of the answers she is receiving from anyone! My hat goes off to Tal, who seems to be VERY tolerant of her behavior.

Guys...I hate to say it, but I think we are wasting our time here. Especially when I see that there are others how NEED and WANT our help!

I cannot responds every single person. They write a lot and there's 11 pages of posts be for real. Your making assumptions and theyare wrong anyway. I respond to some now and some later. I respond to alty anddidnt like what she said didn't I. stop reading into everything and wrongly at that.

If theyneed and want your help feel free to go give it to them

Lena, how old are you?

Were you sexually abused by a man, ever?

I am 32

Yes. It is embarrassing. I toldmy therapist about this and she was embarrass I could tell so I don't bring it up no more

The first step to overcome a problem is to FIRST ADMIT YOU HAVE ONE. THe second is being willing to take the steps needed to change.

As long as you think you are the only normal person and its everyone else thats wrong...you aren't going to get better.

And thats true not just for you, but for everyone else as well.


I never said I was normal in anyway shape or form. I said everyone else is normal. I know I have problems

I don't think you like being negative. I think it is a protective shield and that protection is what you are getting out of it.

You don't like lying to yourself. I respect that. So instead of telling yourself what you see as a 'lie' what can you say that is positive and truthful to you? Let your therapist know that you need different affirmations than the ones she is giving you.


We sit down and tries to think of affirmations and then shejust give them to me. I have to take my medicin every day and cannot even stick to that sigh.

I have come up with only the things I like to do like reading and learning on YouTube. She said they are not consider affirmations though

I have been saying this literally for months. I believe this person posted before under another screen name.

She posts her suicide threats which now include throwing herself under the subway and/or parking her car with the headlights out on a highway - taking other people along with her.

I have a real good idea why she can't find employment, but that's another issue.

I think this has turned into a chat site, something AMHD has always discouraged. It will be interesting the next time I post something and am reminded that this is NOT a chat site.

Someone else wants to be responsible when this person kills someone and has announced her intentions in advance and instead of shutting down shop it turns into a discussion?

I also see a lot of dislike of men (not that she doesn't dislike women, children and domestic animals of all kinds). Probably part of the paranoia. Then there's the whole self hatred thread running through the posts.

OP certainly dislikes me and is responsible for a large percentage of my "dislikes." Want to know why? Because I believe she had another user name, "conversation" was much the same, that person also lived in New Jersey.

Hmmm -

(Out of greenies for Enigma)


No I dislike you because you're extremely condescening rude and make wrong assumptions stating them as truth. That's why I dislike you. And if your getting lots of dislikes that's your problem. Again don't be blaming me for things especially thing I'm not even doing. You don't have a right to cut in on these folks that's talking and trying to comeup with answers

Several time you tld me you don't like the thing I post don't see a point YET you come back again and again. So if there's really a problem with me go find peoples you think have a reason and need for help tired of communicating withyou and see no point in doing so either so guess we are the samee on that accord. You don't need to arrange a bandwagon of posters to leave the thread just go on your own already

Exactly.....its clear she'd rather rant about everything than face the fact all her problems are both imaginary and self imposed.

I'm convinced she doesn't want help...she thinks the world should conform to her warped perspective rather than her making the changes she needs to make.

Unless she WANTS to change....then NOBODY walking this earth can help her. Shes happy wallowing in her misery.

Yes she's got some real issues...but most people with those same issues are willing to try to better themselves within the range of their capacity, whatever that might be.

I say if she wants to be unhappy and alone....she's got it...she's worked hard to run everyone off that's tried to help her.

And she's been a huge success at it.

I don't lose a wink of sleep at night over it either. As an adult everyone is responsible for their own actions...and the fruit of those actions.


NONE of the stuff you stated in a tangent is anything remote close to what I actually said either. You're repeating your own thoughts and of others even if I state what I really think you call it what you wants anyway. So what's the point? Somebody toldme to give examples and that's what I did. Its ranting to you then. When I tries in life REALLY TRY this is what happen it get screwed around and I am done with it. I did try. Okay just forgetit. Everyone for get it. :( I'm done I had it.

i am 32

yes. it is embarassing. i toldmy therapist about this and she was embarass i could tell so i don't bring it up no more

Do you think, perhaps, this is where the issues with men stems from?

How long ago did this happen? Was it recent, or years ago?

I do believe that you should look into another therapist. A therapist's job is to listen and help guide, not judge and show emotions of embarrassment. You should be able to speak openly to him/her.

Look Lena, we want to help you out as much as we can, so let's just start fresh and move forward.

So, please, when did these feelings of suicide start? Was it before or after you were sexually abused? Was it after your head injury?

When was the last time you took your meds?

NONE of the stuff you stated in a tangent is anything remote close to what I actually said either. youre repeating your own thoughts and of others even if i state what i really think you call it what you wants anyway. so whats the point? somebody toldme to give examples and thats what i did. its ranting to you then. when i tries in life REALLY TRY this is what happen it get screwed around and i am done with it. i did try. okay just forgetit. everyone for get it. :( i'm done i had it.

Everything I said is spot on accurate based on your own statementas and your own actions... the last 11 pages.

And yes we can tell a LOT about who a person is and how they actually think based on what they say and how they say it.

I'm not going to take the time to quote any of your comments of them because they are their for your to see as well as everyone else..

Everything you have said and done indicates you don't WANT to do anything to change, there are pages of posts that prove it.

Just like this post you made... everyone else is wrong... YOU are the only person that's right in your own mind. YOu do it with us, you do it with your therapist... you did it with everyone that's been in your life... and that's why you have nobodyt around.

Seriously woman... wake up smell the coffee, smell the roses... and for once in your life instead of blaming everyone... how about listening to them for once. It would be a first apparently for you if you did.

I have a life as do other people, and we took the time out OUR lives to try and help you and all we get from you is dismissive comments and absolutely no acknowledgement that we are right...

Personally, like Alty I've had it as well, and I have better things to do with my time since you have no desire to listen to anyone and I have no desire to listen to someone so absolutely convinced they are the only person that is right and yet listen to how screwed up everything is for you.

News Flash... if YOU was right about everything and everyone else was wrong then your life should be working out splendedly for you.

Nobody should have to give you ANY money or ANY help... because YOU would have it all under control.

And like Alty, I'm going to do what I should have been doing since the first page of this thread... something else... anything else.


I have no desire to waste my time listening to someone rant from their soapbox.

If you really wanted help... we offered it, but you rejected everything everyone has said...

And with that I'm going to go do them before I say what's really on my mind as well.

Counselors do not get embarissed or upset, You could tell them about a orgy with two men and a goat and they just listen. They do not judge.

It is you that are assuming how others feel. If you can not be honest with your counselor, don't waste your time or theirs. Not telling the truth will not get you any help at all.

You obviously do not want to hear the truth, and have made your own world, which has warped views and values.

You need very professional help, and most certainly need to be back on your meds

Everything I said is spot on accurate based on your own statementas and your own actions.....the last 11 pages.

And yes we can tell a LOT about who a person is and how they actually think based on what they say and how they say it.

I'm not going to take the time to quote any of your comments of them because they are thier for your to see as well as everyone else..

Everything you have said and done indicates you don't WANT to do anything to change, there are pages of posts that prove it.

Just like this post you made...everyone else is wrong...YOU are the only person thats right in your own mind. YOu do it with us, you do it with your therapist...you did it with everyone thats been in your life...and thats why you have nobodyt around.

Seriously woman....wake up smell the coffee, smell the roses.....and for once in your life instead of blaming everyone...how about listening to them for once. It would be a first apparently for you if you did.

I have a life as do other people, and we took the time out OUR lives to try and help you and all we get from you is dismissive comments and absolutely no acknowledgement that we are right.....

Personally, like Alty I've had it as well, and I have better things to do with my time since you have no desire to listen to anyone and I have no desire to listen to someone so absolutely convinced they are the only person that is right and yet listen to how screwed up everything is for you.

News Flash...if YOU was right about everything and everyone else was wrong then your life should be working out splendedly for you.

Nobody should have to give you ANY money or ANY help...because YOU would have it all under control.

And like Alty, I'm going to do what I should have been doing since the first page of this thread.......something else...anything else.


I have no desire to waste my time listening to someone rant from their soapbox.

If you really wanted help...we offered it, but you rejected everything everyone has said...

And with that I'm going to go do them before I say whats really on my mind as well.

I never said I was right about everything I said you puts words in mymouth like you're doing now. If anyone on a damn soapbox its you. So SPEAK FORYOURSELF on here and not for me because you're not in my damn head.I'm tired of being knockdown left and right each time I give effort on something. You twist it around to blaming everyone and all these other things. I am done.
Whatever. You people can have the world. I couldn't careless to live here anymore.

Counselors do not get embarissed or upset, You could tell them about a orgy with two men and a goat and they just listen. They do not judge.

It is you that are assuming how others feel. If you can not be honest with your counselor, don't waste your time or theirs. Not telling the truth will not get you any help at all.

You obviously do not want to hear the truth, and have made your own world, which has warped views and values.

You need very professional help, and most certainly need to be back on your meds

I did thebest I could at explainingwhat ihave try with therapist andwhy I feels it didn't work. I didn't say I was right I said this is what I tried to do to demonstrate what I have try. That's it. You people have form your own thoughts muchof it based on thoughts that I never even said. . I did the best I can in the therapy and goes there to talk to her and did my bests here being honest aboutwhat I thought of the thing she was having me domaybe I should have lied. I don't know. Anyway I am very very tired of arguing with these people it is not about not hearing the truth I was trying communicate and it don't work no matterwhich why I try it. I don't belong here I know that now. I will feel very relieve when I don't have to wake up and try to fits in and make things work in the world I had no business being a part of in the first place. I would rather go blow my brains oout then spend another minute trying to do anything anymore. Bye

... bye


This person posts more after she leaves forever than anyone posts when still active on the site. She'll be back with another user name.

(Out of greenies - well done, Smoothy.)

This thread is CLOSED