HI... I'm new here and just desperate for advice.

I've been dating my girlfriend for about a year now. From the start things have been rocky with us. My parents don't like her, and my friends don't think she's good enough for me. Well, I try to always follow my heart and stuck with it. Let me tell you a little bit of background: She's Asian decent as well as me. Asian culture have cultural rules and regulations concerning how you interact with elders or people in general. Well, (I Hope no one takes offense to this) she's my banana. What I mean by that is she's Asian on the outside (yellow part) and American on the inside (white part). She grew up totally different than me. My parents taught me the Asian culture, and how to act. With her she was never taught that. She can hardly speak her native langange.

Well months into the relationship we noticed out views on general issues are complete opposites. Then we realize out communications is well below par. I'm the type of person that doesn't like to give up. I'm the type of person that would exhaust all means to find a resolution.

Now the problem. 1 week ago she came down from L.A to San Diego to see me. It was great when she got down here. Well she joined me and friends at the pool hall. After we were about ready to leave the pool hall, I gave her enough money to cover the tab. She looks at me and states "I don't want to get involved." I got a little irraited, and paid for the bill. What her comment meant is my friends and I usually always want to cover the whole bill never letting the other person pay. So we sometimes push our money up to the cashier. Well I thought I would beat them to the punch and ask my girlfriend for a favor to go pay with my money. I didn't think I was going to get that response.

As we were driving, we got into a discussion about it. She stated that she didn't want to get involved in our quarrels over the bill. I understand her point, but I looked deeper at the meaning. If she can't do this simple little favor for me, what if something big comes up? Then she states that she wasn't in the mood. I got frusrated. Well she has this line stating "Why do you try to push your views on me, and not understand where I am coming from?" Well, I hate that line she pulls on me. Well in the heat of battle, I cut her off mid sentence, and basically mocked her and said the line for her. She was pissed. She dropped me off at the car, and took off back to L.A. She hasn't called in 1 week, while I e-mailed her once, and called her about 3 times. She hasn't returned my calls.

So my question is am I wrong in how I feel about the favor? Or am I just over reacting and just let it slide? I know I was wrong about the mocking thing, and I have said I'm Sorry. Now I feel the next time she calls, she's going to call it quits.

P.S Sorry so long, been holding this issue inside all week. It's nice just to type and get it all out. Thanks for reading.

I think it might just be a simple little thing that has become a big thing.

You said you understood her, but then you needed to further explain. Why? As if explaining would give her some enlightenment?

Yes. She could have done the favor. Absolutely.but I really don't think this is the walls falling down kind of stuff.

Now she's pi$$ed. I get it. Did your email or calls say "im sorry" and maybe had some flowers attached? You might feel in the right, but I think you made this a bigger issue than it needed to be... and I am NOT one to say a guy should grovel at all costs.

She came to see you. You gave her attitude for a little thing that could have been just a little thing.

Maybe she was tired from the DRIVE DOWN TO SEE YOU. You know, the effort she made for you?

Time for you to buck up. Get a dozen flowers, drive up to see her, tell her you are sorry you were a jerk.

If that doesn't solve it, well then she's being the jerk.

Learn to compromise.

Great relationships require a lot of work and sometimes a lot of patience, AND sometimes it requires you to shut up. Even when you know you are right.

you choose your battles.