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nicolehill2112
Sep 2, 2012, 12:45 PM
I am 18 years old, my fiance' is 19, and I am currently pregnant with his child. After a few months of learning about our options, we have decided that we want to give our baby up for adoption. We already have a family who has agreed to a completely open adoption with no visitation limitations. I was just wondering what I need to do to start myself towards signing the adoption papers. (who I need to contact, if I need a lawyer, etc.) This is my first child and no one in my family knows what I need to do, so I am really hoping someone on here does.

ScottGem
Sep 2, 2012, 01:11 PM
You need to draw up a contract with this family. This contract will spell out what they will do for you and what you will do for them. Your part is fairly simple, you turn over the child to them. However, there is NO such thing as " a completely open adoption with no visitation limitations". There is no way you can visit with the child anytime you want. It just does not work that way.

So you need to have such things specifically listed in the contract. For example, you may specify that you can visit one day a week during her first year. Then alternate weekends afterwards. I'm just throwing out examples. DO NOT rely on their lawyer to draw up a contract that will protect you. You can have their attorney draw up a contract, but you will need your own attorney to look it over and offer changes.

I can tell you now, that if you expect a completely open adoption this family will back out. When a couple goes to adopt, they expect (and the law supports them) that the child will be theirs and you will have no legal rights to that child except what is listed in the contract. And even then, since they would be the legal parents, a court may not support you, even if it is in writing.

Personally, I think you are making the right decision in giving the child up for adoption. But I think you should do it completely. I think you have unrealistic expectations of what an adoption will mean.

nicolehill2112
Sep 2, 2012, 01:59 PM
The family the child is going to is my biological mother and her husband who have other children of their own. She was pregnant not too long ago, but ended up losing the baby. They then decided they wanted another baby. After finding out that I am pregnant, they suggested to me that they adopt the child, as a way to help me and also have a child. I am definitely not worried about them backing out or not giving myself and the father fair visitation. They live a few hours away so we wouldn't be able to visit too often, but I know they would never oppose when we could visit.

ScottGem
Sep 2, 2012, 02:24 PM
OK, that sheds a slightly different light on things. But what happens when you call up and say we want to visit next weekend and they say, Oh but we're going away". It is going to happen, even in the closest of families. So you still need your own lawyer to review the contract.