abrn023
Aug 29, 2012, 05:58 PM
Ok, this is going to take a little explaining, but I need to say the whole story if I'm going to get legitimate advice.
First of all, my girlfriend and I had been dating for a year and a half before we broke up. We broke up one other time, like 6 months ago, because I thought I wanted to be single. I realized I didn't actually want that though, and it took a lot, but I got her back. Now we just got to college, were both at the same one, and not even a week in, we break up. She initiates it, but I don't really fight for it. The reason we broke up, is because I had stopped doing the little things the past few months, and she felt like the only way for us to have a chance, was for me to go and date other people. Neither one of us really wanted to break up. This wasn't a good decision, but the night we broke up, we decided to have sex one last time, since the plan was to not have sex with anyone else for the months or year we were on break. We were both each others first. So anyway, the next day we're acting like friends and stuff, but we decide to go to different parties, just to get some space between us, and then we were going to have lunch the next day. So I call her the next morning, and ask her when she wants to go to lunch, and she blows me off. I then find out that she made out with a guy, and I lost it. I'm a really jealous guy, and I guess because of the way we handled it, I felt like we were still dating. I felt like she had cheated on me, and I yelled at her and called her a slut. Because of that blow up, our deal of no sex went out the window, and now I don't even know if she's going to want to ever get back together. This was a week ago, and since then, I've talked to her, and she says she forgives me, but I don't know if she really does. She's already done everything but sex with this guy, and it's absolutely killing me inside, because I still love her and never wanted to lose her. So my plan right now, is to leave it alone for a few months, maybe 5-6, date some other people, and hopefully be friends with my ex after a month or so. And I'm going to try and get over her. I'm going to try and forget about her, and push her out of my mind for now. But after these months are over, if I still feel as strongly about her as I do now, then I'm going to try and win her back. Not if I still have some feelings, because I know it will take me years to completely get over her, but if I'm still having this feeling of intense love for her, then I think that would be a sign to me, that she is the one and I need to get her back.
So basically what I'm asking is two things. Is trying to get back together with in a few months if I still love her a decent idea? I know waiting at least a year might be a better idea, but honestly this has been the longest week of my life, and even a few months is going to seem like a lifetime. And second, if I do decide that I want to get her back several months from now, how should I go about doing it? I know it's going to be tough, but if I still feel the way I do now, I would do almost anything to show her how much I love her.
Any advice is appreciated, even if it's something I don't want to hear. Thanks very much
First of all, my girlfriend and I had been dating for a year and a half before we broke up. We broke up one other time, like 6 months ago, because I thought I wanted to be single. I realized I didn't actually want that though, and it took a lot, but I got her back. Now we just got to college, were both at the same one, and not even a week in, we break up. She initiates it, but I don't really fight for it. The reason we broke up, is because I had stopped doing the little things the past few months, and she felt like the only way for us to have a chance, was for me to go and date other people. Neither one of us really wanted to break up. This wasn't a good decision, but the night we broke up, we decided to have sex one last time, since the plan was to not have sex with anyone else for the months or year we were on break. We were both each others first. So anyway, the next day we're acting like friends and stuff, but we decide to go to different parties, just to get some space between us, and then we were going to have lunch the next day. So I call her the next morning, and ask her when she wants to go to lunch, and she blows me off. I then find out that she made out with a guy, and I lost it. I'm a really jealous guy, and I guess because of the way we handled it, I felt like we were still dating. I felt like she had cheated on me, and I yelled at her and called her a slut. Because of that blow up, our deal of no sex went out the window, and now I don't even know if she's going to want to ever get back together. This was a week ago, and since then, I've talked to her, and she says she forgives me, but I don't know if she really does. She's already done everything but sex with this guy, and it's absolutely killing me inside, because I still love her and never wanted to lose her. So my plan right now, is to leave it alone for a few months, maybe 5-6, date some other people, and hopefully be friends with my ex after a month or so. And I'm going to try and get over her. I'm going to try and forget about her, and push her out of my mind for now. But after these months are over, if I still feel as strongly about her as I do now, then I'm going to try and win her back. Not if I still have some feelings, because I know it will take me years to completely get over her, but if I'm still having this feeling of intense love for her, then I think that would be a sign to me, that she is the one and I need to get her back.
So basically what I'm asking is two things. Is trying to get back together with in a few months if I still love her a decent idea? I know waiting at least a year might be a better idea, but honestly this has been the longest week of my life, and even a few months is going to seem like a lifetime. And second, if I do decide that I want to get her back several months from now, how should I go about doing it? I know it's going to be tough, but if I still feel the way I do now, I would do almost anything to show her how much I love her.
Any advice is appreciated, even if it's something I don't want to hear. Thanks very much