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View Full Version : What to do when he tries to get in your knickers?


glasgowgal24681
Aug 24, 2012, 03:46 AM
I've been going out with this guy for literally a week. So, last night we were sitting on some sun loungers by the pool and we are making out and he get's on top of me. I probably should have stopped him but I didn't. Oooooops! We went for a walk. After a while we stopped walking and sat down and started making out again. Once we stood up he was putting his hands under my t-shirt at the back (that's fine) and on my bum (also fine) but he the asked if he could put his hands in my knickers! In the street! After a week of going out! I'm only 14 and he's 16 so he's obviously ready for stuff that I'm not (he's told me that already). I do want to (of course being 14 and feeling like a could run 3 miles after he just looks at me) but I respect myself and I thought it was a 6 month rule that then you could mess around not 6 days? I know that when we go out next time he's going to try again... how do I let him know I'm not ready for messing around yet, without sounding like I'm 10? Thanks for any help that's given!!
p.s. I said no.

C0bra_M3nace
Aug 24, 2012, 04:18 AM
You say "No, stop I'm not ready" and if he can't respect that then you need to get rid of him.

What I'm wondering though is where does this 6 month rule come from? You know that's a load of crap right? I sure hope you learn that. If all the 14 year olds at your school, including yourself, fool yourself in believing there's a 6 month rule, you'll all be pregnant with children by the time you get out of high school.

There's a lot of risks involving messing around too. There's plenty of diseases running around just waiting for naïve kids like you to say "Okay, lets do it". I think you need to talk to your parents, about all the things you think you're ready to do. Let them educate you, and guide you, it's what they're there for. If you're not mature enough to talk to your parents and listen to what they have to say. You're not even mature enough to be holding hands with another boy. Especially one 2 years older than you.

MayraCarlos
Aug 25, 2012, 10:52 PM
6 days is to soon, and you are too young, I'm 16 been with my boyfriend for 8months, and barely started having sex, trust me, make sure if you do anything sexual with him you are sure that he's serious about you and he loves you, because if hea just with you for fun you'll be disaapointed in the end

joypulv
Aug 26, 2012, 02:47 AM
It's easy to not sound like you are 10. It's actually a sign of responsibility and maturity and self respect to say 'I barely know you, it's way too soon, and I am absolutely not letting you or anyone get that close to me yet.'

ScottGem
Aug 26, 2012, 05:14 AM
I do want to (of course being 14 and feeling like a could run 3 miles after he just looks at me) but I respect myself and I thought it was a 6 month rule that then you could mess around not 6 days

First, Letting him put his hands up your shirt or on your "bum" are NOT fine. They are signals to him that you are willing to go further. They are teases to him. The time to draw boundaries are at the beginning.

Second, sex is not recreation. Its something to be shared between two people in a long term committed relationship. Not sure where you got the 6 months rules, but that's not enough especially at your ages. At 14 in most areas of the world, you are jail bait.

As noted, if his hands start roaming again, you stop him immediately. You tell him you are not ready for this and you ask him to respect that or leave.

saltlifek
Oct 6, 2012, 12:09 PM
If you aren't ready you aren't ready, that isn't your fault. If he can't respect that then get arid of him. Now of course dating a 16 year old, he's probably going to do a little more sexual activity than you are, might want to go for someone your own age. Just tell him that it'll be worth the wait, and if he really loves you he'll wait. Guilt him :)

LOLlover
Oct 9, 2012, 01:56 AM
NO,NO,NO
It is as simple as that,if he tries anything on you that your uncomfortable with say NO firmly to get the point across from the beginning.If he knows this from the start he should understand more quickly.If he disrespects this rule in anyway dump the sleeze bag like a sack of potatoes.No is the answer never a question,as soon as you doubt yourself yourself respect falls.so stay positive and be an independent woman.

Fr_Chuck
Oct 9, 2012, 08:41 AM
There is no so many month rule, many boys will do it on the first day if the girl will let them, and some girls do.

At 14, there should be about a 3 or 4 year rule, unless you are ready to get pregnant.

First you don't get into a situation, you consider what could happen. Next you say NO, and say it loud and make sure he knows it. If he still does not stop, you hit, knee or kick him where it hurts, to make sure he fully understands

guardion5star
Oct 15, 2012, 12:15 PM
You tell him no and to give you time as you are not ready to get pregnant and if he doesn't listen to you break up with him before this gets out of hand. I mean dating at 14 seems really young too me but it's your life just don't go running around getting pregnant. And there is no 6 month rule it should be 3-4 years at the least. If you ask me you should do it when your married but who listens to me. Just be careful no condom is 100% percantor birth pill.