Ive been with my boyfriend for 5 months the first time my daughter met him she was all right, she met him twice then we broke up and got back together a couple of weeks later, since then she has always cried when his come near her, he doesn't smack hper or treat her badly, he tries so hard he will try play peek a boo and other games and she will giggle smile, but as soon as he sits next to her she cries, he will put her to bed for me and let me sleeping in the mornings, when ever I'm not around she's the perfect child for him, she won't cry she will do what she's told ill even walk in and see her having a full conversation with him, but then she will start crying like whining crying, she will go to sleep with him on the lounge and watch TV with him but when ever I'm around she cries when ever me and him cuddle she cries which I can understand she's had me all to herself for 10 months, I really don't know what to do and his trying so hard, he only ever tells her off if she smacks me or says swear words, and he does get frustrated with her crying he has called her a sook in some occasions but other then that he treats her good I don't know what to do I just want us to be able to be happy and he wants nothing more then to be that father figure to her

What's a sook?
We can't possibly know if he is trustworthy with her or not. One strong smack when you weren't around could be behind all of this. Or it could just be that she is still scared by him as a man, and a new man around the house. Or she is possessive of you. But with the first one always a possibility, and please don't say you 'know he would never do that,' because he does get frustrated by her crying.

It's your job to stay around more and to make him leave and not be the babysitter until all this is resolved.

A sook is a kid that cries a lot

I've only left her with him on 3 occasions, she speaks to him on the phone and calls him daddy when his not around she tells him she loves him but she still cries I ask if she likes him she tells me yes, we don't live with him we do spend a week or a few days there, she will say I love you to him as well and give him a kiss and a cuddle but there are some times were she don't cry but that's not very often, at his house she doesn't have any toys except for a couple, I will keep in mind about the whole he might of smacked her, the only thing his ever done is accidentally make the bath too hot one she said hot he added cold water

You shouldn't be leaving her with him AT ALL. Even if he's the sweetest guy in the world, which he isn't.
Some of what she is doing is parroting you or doing what she thinks you want her to do.
Mostly he is still something of a stranger, especially since you don't live together!
You might as well be dropping her off on the moon.

You've only been with him for 5 months. You can't trust him to be alone around your child. As a teacher, I can tell you that your child is showing you that something is wrong. Believe it or not, a parent cannot visit their child in my school (entire district), until they have been fingerprinted through the FBI. That should give you a clear reason as to why no one should be alone with your child that you do not truly know.

A sook is a kid that cries a lot

I've only left her with him on 3 ocasions, she speaks to him on the phone and calls him daddy when his not around she tells him she loves him but she still cries I ask if she likes him she tells me yes, we don't live with him we do spend a week or a few days there, she will say I love you to him aswell and give him a kiss and a cuddle but there are some times were she don't cry but that's not very often, at his house she dosent have any toys except for a couple, I will keep in mind about the whole he might of smacked her, the only thing his ever done is accidently make the bath too hot one she said hot he added cold water


She's two years old - she's just repeating what you say!

He's bathing your child, this man you've only known for 5 months, a man who makes your child, at best, uneasy?

He corrects her when she uses swear words? Is that what I read? Where is your two-year old picking up that language?

I would never force or even encourage a child to be in the presence of someone who makes her unhappy. Never.

I have always based my judgement with people through my children. They can feel things that we can't. If she is crying around him, there is something wrong. Your child should always come first. My biological father is an alcoholic and wanted to meet my son. He was 2 at the time and WOULD NOT go near him, he has never heard me bad mouth his grandfather or anything, he could sense my discomfort and reacted. He is now 4 and has not seen him again. As a mother, I feel the need to keep my child from anything that they are uncomfortable with... I pray there isn't anything more serious going on and I do hope you keep a very close eye if you continue to have him around.

Children, we all were! Your child comes first, even before you boyfriend. Maybe your boyfriend scared her suddenly. Or maybe she's not use to him. Either way, maybe after you marry him she might feel better, having a dad! But your child does love this guy, talk more and more to her, have the closest bond with God then your child. Best of Wishes!
Kaoru Kamiya
Mother of 2

Children, we all were! Your child comes first, even before you bf. Maybe your bf scared her suddenly. Or maybe she's not use to him. Either way, maybe after you marry him she might feel better, having a dad! But your child does love this guy, talk more and more to her, have the closest bond with God then your child. Best of Wishes!
Kaoru Kamiya
Mother of 2


Not everybody who posts here believes in God. Not everyone who posts here believes in your God. Please - if you want to post about God and religion, move over to the religious boards.

You are actually suggesting that this person MARRY the man who, fore whatever reason, frightens her child. Maybe she's an easily-frightened child. Maybe he's a molester. Your suggestion is that she MARRY him and develop a closer bond to God? I absolutely cannot believe you posted this. She's afraid to be alone with him now but after her mother marries him and she has a "Dad" all will be well?

Irresponsible and foolish advice.

How old are you?

EDIT: I read your other post - you are obviously playing games in Junior High with nothing to say on an adult board. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/does-he-hate-me-667579.html

Sorry for the misleading advice. This is an opinion.
My daughter is also using this account.
I am sorry for being forgetful of other's.
I just try to give hope.
The last thing that I'd want to do is offend someone.
I do not want to say anything bad about her boyfriend. Maybe he's good, or bad, who knows?
JudyKayTee, my daughter is crying since she believes you are blaming her.
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Maybe Askmeheldesk.com is not such a friendly place for my daughter, I guess I'll never go on this website again. I would like to aplogize again. After all, I do not want others to get hurt for what they believe. This really hurt me.
Kaoru Kamiya (mother is using account)

Maybe Askmeheldesk.com is not such a friendly place for my daughter, I guess I'll never go on this website again. I would like to aplogize again. Afterall, I do not want others to get hurt for what they believe. This really hurt me.
Kaoru Kamiya (mother is using account)
If your daughter wants to use this site, she should get her own account which is simple to do and free (as you know). Otherwise, it is very confusing, as Judy pointed out. Also, I am sorry for your upset, but we prefer religious comments to be posted only on the religion boards. I encourage both of you to give this site another chance.