I'm 17 years old, and this past summer, I made a huge decision to lose my virginity. It wasn't like I planned it out, but my parents decided to go to the lake for the weekend. So, my 19-year-old brother and his girlfriend (who, until recently, both lived with us) decided it would be okay to let my boyfriend stay the night. After drinking (quite a lot), we all decided to go to bed, on separate ends of the house. Well, things got intense, and I ended up having sex with my then boyfriend of 11 months, almost a year. At the time, I really thought it was something we were supposed to do after dating for so long, and knew that my friends were doing it. About 5 weeks later, my mom happened to see a text from me to him, saying that I was really wondering if we made a huge mistake. (Yes, we used protection. No, I did not get pregnant or anything.) She completely freaked out, which she had every right to do. I was not allowed to see him, or have any contact with anyone, for about two weeks. Since then (it's been almost two months since the incident), we've slowly returned to 'normal' around my house, but my relationship with my parents is completely different. No matter what, I can't figure out any way to gain an ounce of trust back. After I was allowed to go back out on dates, my boyfriend and I haven't really been having as much fun as we used to, before we had sex. Our relationship is incredibly awkward, and we recently went back to school. I'm not the kind of person to hug or kiss in front of people, and get really grossed out by PDA. We're both straight-A students, he's a hockey player, and I am a show jumper (horseback riding). We're not those creepy couples you see lurking around school, both of us are fairly popular, and I just don't feel comfortable feeling like I have to say "I love you" and hug every time we say goodbye between classes. I told him this, and I said it very gently. However, it still hurt his feelings, and things have been super awkward since then. Any suggestions on trying to get things back to normal would be great. Also, if you're thinking about having sex and you're under age or not ready for the adult responsibilities, such as the possibility of having to raise a child, DON'T. I won't be having sex again until it's someone I know I want to spend the rest of my life with. I wish my boyfriend and I could return to that innocent relationship we had before. Now, only the two of us, and two friends know that it happened, one my best guy friend, and the other his. They haven't told anyone, and I know they won't, but I just feel very awkward when talking to them about things now. I don't know how to get myself out of this rut I'm in, and it definitely wasn't worth it. Also, it's really painful, just as a side note. I didn't bleed, but if you're not with someone you can trust to take care of you, and stop when you say to, I think it would be even worse than it was for me.

You two will never have that innocence again sorry to say. Have you talked about what you two did?

I hope other young people will read this. Sex changes the dynamics of a relationship and often in ways you're not prepared for.

Yes it changes many relationships, and no at this point it may be months or longer for parents to feel they can trust you. Or it may at this point, changed your relationship with them forever

Yes, we've talked about it, but I don't really know how to explain to him how I feel. It's not that I feel I can't talk to him, it's just that I don't want to hurt his feelings and make him think I'm saying I regret it. Which I do, but he says that he doesn't regret it... It's such a complicated situation, and I probably sound like any other teenage girl on here, or anywhere for that matter. I've tried to be very realistic about high school relationships, knowing that chances are, I won't be marrying anyone I date in high school, and even college. The problem with him, is that he used to be the kind of guy to joke around, laugh a lot, and have fun, but now he's just quiet and distant. He hasn't ever said anything along the lines of it being my fault, but I keep feeling like it was all me, and that I took something away from him that he can't get back. I don't know how to get him back, and even if/when we break up, will he be like this with other girls? I don't want that for him, or for anyone else he gets involved with. Thank you both so much for your replies, maybe they weren't exactly what I wanted to hear, but I definitely needed it! How come it always seems like I end up typing a novel on here?

We all learn lessons, most of us learn them the hard way. This is one of those lessons that shouldn't be learnt the hard way, but many many teens do. Take this lesson and run with it, because you could have learned this one much harder. By harder I mean in the form of a child.

Your relationship will never be the same with your boyfriend nor your parents. You should have been honest with them from the start. You know that now, but maybe it's time to start. You'd be surprised at how far being 100% honest with your parents will go, no matter the severity of the situation.