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View Full Version : Why are guys so shallow


smcthatgirl2
Mar 7, 2007, 03:05 AM
every afternoon I go on an afternoon bus to home with a few of my friends. On the buds is a boys school and they like to show off all the time by singing and being loud etc . One of my friends is really pretty and she has kind of big boobs. Ever since she has broken up with her boyfriend all the guys on that bus just seem to want her. Guys aare so shallow. I have never met a guy that actually cared more about a girls personality, they only care about looks. I just feel like I'm never good enough and no one ever notices me. I'm not like hideously ugly or anything I'm OK looking nothing special but I just never seem to be able to get a boyfriend. I no that sounds really desperate but most of my friends and people younger than me have had boyfriends before and I have never had one. What is wrong with me? I'm so tired of men, all they care about is model type girls. I'm afraid that I will be alone forver and no one will ever like me. I'm not a hermit, I go out and I'm friendly, a bit shy but still nice. No one is ever interested , I'm just so tired of being alone. Wats wrong with me?? =( please help

Capuchin
Mar 7, 2007, 03:11 AM
I assume you are young, at that age guys do care about looks, and relationships never last too long. When guys start getting to the age where they start thinking about the rest of their lives, then they will start to treasure personality much more.

You will get male friends who will become attracted to you as they get to know you. Don't worry about it too much now.

smcthatgirl2
Mar 7, 2007, 03:15 AM
I no I shouldn cause I am only a teenager but still it starts to get frustrating when everyone else has a boyfriend and you don't. I'm not ugly I'm normal so I don't see what the problem is , what's wrong with me?

Capuchin
Mar 7, 2007, 03:17 AM
Nothing is wrong with you, You're talking about adolescent boys, a lot of things are wrong with adolescent boys.

Feel comfort in the fact that when they get older and (slightly) more sensible, they will see your inner beauty.

Use this time to concentrate on your studies, become a better person, create strong friendships, these will all make you more attractive to a prospective suitor in the future.

Krs
Mar 7, 2007, 03:28 AM
i no i shudnt coz i am only a teenager but still it starts to get frustrating when everyone else has a bf and u dont. im not ugly im normal so i dont see wat the problem is , wats wrong with me??
Hey listen sweety!
Nothing is wrong with you. Im 27 and happily married.
When I was between the age of 15 - 19, I was mostly single, while all my friends had boyfriends...
These days they are mostly all single and some of them even messed up big-time... I meet my man when I was 19, before that I used to get hurt and annoyed wondering why my friends have boyfriend and I don't...
Now I know the reason... I respected myself... most of friends didn't!

cherrybubblesss
Mar 7, 2007, 02:36 PM
Well first of all NOTHING is wrong with you :) I have the same problem as you though, it feels like guys don't even give me a second glance.so I guess I'm not much help,but just know that the right guy will come along!

mrsmoz
Mar 7, 2007, 03:53 PM
Awww hunny! Nothing is wrong with u!! Most teenage boys are a nightmare, yes they are interested in pulling the prettiest girl with the biggest boobs and blah blah blah! I was a bit of an ugly duckling in skool and never got male attention but I was so busy having fun with the girls I didn't care! Boys do grow up and when they do they will realise its not all about looks! Its great when you meet someone who likes you for your mind and yes you will 1day. Don't take ne notice of the boys on the bus, it's the boys who always do there homework and that are always nice and friendy you want to go for, they grow up to be intelligent, sensible and will have a better job and more money and will always look yummy!
Don't no if this helps at all!! Hope it does!! Take care :) xxxxx

Jezz182
Mar 7, 2007, 04:28 PM
Take this from a boy. NOT ALL guys are shallow. Don't feel bad about your looks. I have a friend who's GF isn't hot, and there are a lot of girls he knows that have much bigger breasts than his GF. You said this bus picks up guys from an all boy's school? Maybe the just need some female company. Yes, a lot of guys like the girls with big boobs. To teenage guys (ahem) boobs are considered the best part of a girl. Try talking to one of the sensible guys. He may even tell his friends how great you are!

Shine
Mar 9, 2007, 02:01 PM
Nothing is wrong with you! I see many boys and girls that feel the same way, I teach high school. I know it may seem like everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend, but they don't. You should be happy with yourself and don't think for one second you are not something special, because you are! High school boys and even college boys sometimes are just plain dumb and haven't grown up! And as cliché as it sounds you will find someone who likes you for the right reasons. I have found that love comes when you are least expecting it. So focus on having a good times and school and everything will work out.

smcthatgirl2
Mar 23, 2007, 05:51 AM
I know that not everyone has a girlfriend or boyfriend but it just feels like I'm the only one that never has. There must be something seriously wrong with me. Everyone I know has at least had one but me Ive had none! I'm not completely ugly , (I'm no model) but still I mean what's wrong with me?

Capuchin
Mar 23, 2007, 05:53 AM
Hey! Have you read what we've all been saying? Nothing is wrong with you! PLENTY is wrong with boys your age! Trust me I know! I USED TO BE ONE!

smcthatgirl2
Mar 23, 2007, 06:04 AM
Hahaha yeah I no I no . Your probably right

Capuchin
Mar 23, 2007, 06:06 AM
I'm definitely right. You will find someone when you're a little older, I'm certain of it :)

Krs
Mar 23, 2007, 06:45 AM
Yes 15 yr old boys (no offence) but it's the truth! They are at that age, where there is just ONE thing on their mind.. just ONE

talaniman
Mar 23, 2007, 06:47 AM
Just because you haven't been discovered doesn't mean you won't. Stop dwelling on it ,be patient and please learn to spell and write in English, for us older people.

Krs
Mar 23, 2007, 06:49 AM
Yep Tal is right, STOP dwelling on it and stop putting yourself down... ITS HIM AND NOT YOU

Capuchin
Mar 23, 2007, 06:50 AM
See! It must be right because we all agree! And that never happens!

smcthatgirl2
Mar 23, 2007, 07:05 PM
Yeah I guess I've just got to forget him. It's going to be hard because I see him all the time but I have to try , it's killing me. Just knowing that someone couldn't care less about you hurts. But I've done nothing but be nice to him, he's got the problem and I just have to try and stop thinking about him

Matt3046
Mar 23, 2007, 07:06 PM
We just are. Why are women so deep?

Matt3046
Mar 23, 2007, 07:09 PM
You have to be positive and proactive. In this world you will always have to go out and get what you want. A positive attitude helps. Go workout, its good for you, and there are people there.

smcthatgirl2
Mar 23, 2007, 08:26 PM
Hmm yes I'm not quite sure why women are so deep.

Its not like I take everything seriously, I don't .I always have a laugh its just when it comes to matters like these ,they aren't taken lightly, well I don't take them lightly at least!

I don't personally think we are more deep than men, just more willing to show it and accept it.

Yes I have tried working out. I go during the week for walks with my friend which is always fun but we always end up talking about our relationship problems and it usually ends in tears!

I do have to admit that I over analyse things. But seriously what are you supposed to think when someone treats you like this. I mean the first thing that pops into your head is that you havve done something wrong and I usually stick with that even if it may not be true!

Matt3046
Mar 23, 2007, 09:51 PM
This is what I mean by not being positive, Yeah life can be lonely, but you can not wait for someone else to validate you. Trust me you don't even want to hear about my life.
But you know what helps me, it sounds kind of cheesy but some hobbies, really help.
I know that it can be very tough to be young. But let me tell you I am 35 and I have been around the block a few times. Those girls, you are referring to do not age well. And trust me there are so many mean and spitefully, not to mention crazy women,(and men) out there, sooner or later you will find someone who appreciates you. But don't base yourself worth on what someone else thinks. So just relax, take care of yourself, stay in shape, and be positive,(no one wants to be around a downer). In a few years you won't even remember this time in your life, enjoy your friends, and enjoy being young. But do not ever let anyone pressure you into doing anything that you know your parents would not want you to do (drugs, sex etc) Drugs ruin lives. And you have plenty of time for anything else. So just have fun, people like to be around fun people.

smcthatgirl2
Mar 24, 2007, 12:32 AM
Yeah I get what you're saying. I know that having a boyfriend shouldn't validate me but it would make me feel better about myself, that I am actually loveable! Lol I hope I meet someone nice I'm so tired of shallow guys. I would never be pressured into that sort of thing I know better than that. I would never take drugs or be pressured into sex! Yes I know I am trying to forget him but its hard to do. I'm not a downer but I'm not as happy as I once was. I haven't been truly happy in quite a while.

sexiibabii
Mar 25, 2007, 05:34 PM
uhmm heyy I'm 14=).. personally I don't think anything is wrong with you I know exactly what you mean when you say boys are shallow... the boys I hang around really only care about if your pretty or you have a nice body.. I know I'm not ugly I'm not saying I'm gorgous but I wissh boys cared more about what's inside... I have come to a conclusion that during the teenage years boys are extremely immature and don't no how to act anything but immature so I'm patiently waiting until they mature I don't no how long I can wait but I'm going to try don't let what they do get to you and how you feel about yourself... you knowing and saying that you are not ugly is a great thing a lot of girls can't say that about themselves a lot of girls think there ugly and think there is so many things wrong with them but my mom told me once that all the bad things you see about yourself most likely its because you pay attention to it... teen age girls want to impress people.. well some of them and if your concentrating on looking good or what ever you are going to try to point out the bad things but most likely other people don't see what you see... as your looking for the bad things to change there looking at the good things... so don't be so quick to think something is wrong with you your not alone going through this there are a lot of people going through it (me) lol... but yeah I hope this helps.. at least a little biit=)

smcthatgirl2
Mar 26, 2007, 12:36 AM
lol thanks for your advice! I totally agree with you. It just seems like they are never going to grow up! It helped a lot thank you =))

sexiibabii
Mar 26, 2007, 10:21 AM
Your welcomee=)<3

Rockabilly1955mama
Mar 28, 2007, 11:21 AM
Ohhhh sweetie tell me about it! I've never in my life met a guy who falls for a woman because of her appearance. Guys are dogs, they don't know that they want. But as you get older, you'll find out about them.

smcthatgirl2
Apr 22, 2007, 12:53 AM
I sure hope so!

crue_boo
Sep 1, 2007, 11:37 PM
hey awwwwwe!
I dont know how old you are but im 16..and luckily i found someone i love and not just like ....so ive passed all this .
Im sorry to tell you, guys will be shallow forever......... immaturity is a big part of shallowness...and we all know guys stay that way even if they do improve. BUT probably 50% of the other guys are well rounded, respectful, and onlooking guys. Haha no offense guys but it is hard to find someone whos not with you for your tits or your butt...but the time will come. (this doesnt mean the men who do love you for you dont appreciate the good traits you do have).
It seems to me like you are interested in 1 guy in particular and you are pissed that ..[probably by the sounds of what you posted].. "once again" your friend who is probably more open than you are gets way more attention than you and always steals your chance at #1. Tell me if im right.
When i was in elementary school, I got all the @$$ I ever wanted, but those 2 week flings werent worth any of my time. They only brought fights, oddness and unnessescary drama for us little 8th grader friends. My friend Amanda and i dated all of my guy friends.. and there were a lot.
Honostly... I think young dating is pure BULL because everyone knows you're just going to break up...so...what is the point? Lust? Sex? If thats not what YOU want to be dating for...please wait until someone comes to you and tells you something sweet, that doesnt include "you're hot". And you sound to me like you think you want that..and i thought the same thing.... but.. why would you want someone to only want to be with you because they want to look at you..brag about your big tits..or just plain have sex with you. Its actually more degrading than being single is. If people only looked at me for my looks ..then how am i supposed to feel about me inside... how am i supposed to know if they really love ME for me... not ME for the hot chick.
Not to brag but I could get some hotties whenever and wherever i wanted...ive had some big buffers who were way too old for me and hotter than the effing sun.. but you know what i didnt even like these guys...i just thought they were hot. I thought i had my whole concept of dating right... but then.. i met this boy, a nice looking young think boy who actually weighs less than me..and i fell right in love!!! Ive been with him for a whole year and 3 months!! ITS SO NICE to be with someone who loves YOU (not your body) and needs YOU (not your body)...and wants to call you, because then you know theyre not lookin at your body :p . What i am slooowly getting at...is that.. there is NOT A THING wrong with you.. theres something wrong with male hormones...and if you're jealous because a guy likes a girl for her tits...you are not missing out.. i thought it was so great.....and then i bumped into the real deal. I dropped all the big hotties for my baby (Hes so sexy but very small :D )

So im sorry for rambling...ive just had quite a day..you will probably find a lot of my ramblings from today on like every topic on this site :P .... Good luck hon and honostly.. lol you really are not missing out....:cool:

smcthatgirl2
Sep 10, 2007, 01:11 AM
Hahaha thanks for your advice! Seriosuly I understand everything you said, and your right, I know. Buttt somehow I still don't believe everything. Honestly it gets really depressing when you go unnoticed again and again and its happening right now. I like someone and it just seems like nobody likes me enough to do anything about it. Its not like I expect him to ask me out, we have only talked a few times, but still I feel like if I really was that special then why am I still alone time after time. I really just can't see myself ever being with someone

Jus10
Sep 10, 2007, 08:54 AM
Not all guys are shallow my friends think I can do better than the girl I have now and they are wrong if any thing she could do better than me. I have done some things in the past that she cried for 2 days she should have left me but I was lucky enough to get a second chance and I love her now more than ever plus we are engaged and 11 weeks pregnant. So I consider myself the most lucky guy in the world to sleep next to her every night. What Im saying is if you date some one just for looks then then yea you're a but there's plenty on nice guys out there were just hard to find.

Miss lovley
Sep 10, 2007, 12:31 PM
I have the same problem with guys.
Eaither they only want sex or nothing to do withme

bebo1
Sep 11, 2007, 02:07 PM
Awww sweetie, I'm srry that we're shallow it's just that many of us are just brain washed by the media and what we see in movies and in the movies the guy always get the smokin hot blond with humungo boobs they just immature than girls (by 2 yrs I belive) give it a while you'll find a man I'm sure :)

jman18
Sep 11, 2007, 04:15 PM
All right here is what I think I am 17 year old boy and I have never had a girlfriend before well nothing you can really say a long term relationship like the longest was like 2 weeeks but anyway I use to ask myself this question over and over again what is wrong with me why don't I have a girlfriend I am not ugly not even close... I think I very good looking and alof of people say so too the only thing with me is that I am very shy but anyway the point is if you keep on asking yourself this question what is wrong with me then your thoughts attract something that will make you feel like there is something wrrong with you... and honestly not all guys are the same even though I am good looking all I look for in a girl is that she makes me smile everyday by just thinking of her that's all I want the looks aren't even a thing I reallzy care for so just hold on to the thought that some people are meant to meet certain people and you are probably one of them you are not suppose to meet anyone who will use you you are suppose to meet someone that is tight for you so hang in there and if you ever need to talk to someone just let me know

forevertrue1066
Sep 13, 2007, 02:18 PM
You kidding? There's nothing wrong with you! Guys are just immature and shy and blah blah at this age and they won't realize you or whatever quaility you have until your older and or never at all. Just give it sometime!

gallivant_fellow
Sep 15, 2007, 05:32 PM
Guess what, girls are the same way. Now I'm 6'3 and filled out, but when I was in Jr. High I was little and skinny. Not only did girls ignore me, some made fun of me. But, that didn't make me think all girls are shallow. Of course people are going to go after the best looking person, especially in the teenage world. You should rephrase to "Why are teenagers so shallow?" I can answer that. It's because they're young, have raging hormones, and no need for a loving relationship.

P.S. When people get older, the girls who used to be hot many times turn average at best, and the average girls often explode with hotness.

artlovernd
Dec 30, 2009, 07:38 PM
Don't worry, one day you'll meet the right person. But at the moment there are still going to be boys that will judge you or not want to date you because you don't fully fit their standards. I bet they're no better looking themselves, so try not to mind them. If you think about it, all humans are like that - we all tend to notice and be attracted to good looking things. If you were in a place full of boys you'd probably be noticing the cutest guys as well. "The eye sees the appearance and judges, but the heart looks deep for personality" usually people let their eyes do the bidding, and don't pay attention to the personality because you can't actually see it. So all in all don't pay attention to them and, wait a little for the right person to come along