I want to know if it's legal in Illinois, USA and in Toranto, Canada.

Me and this guy really like each other. We text 24/7 and are going to skype next week. In the past questions that have been answered it was said that guys at the age just want sex. This guy has only dated one girl. The most they ever did was hug. He hates the feeling of rejection so he doesn't ask to go steady until he knows that they like him back. He hasn't even had his first kiss yet. I haven't had mine either. He's about to turn 18 in octorber and I'll still be 14 me and him are both very shy people and the farthest things would go is probably a kiss. He said he wanted to wait until I was 20 until we did anything intimate. He's a really sweet guy and he cares a lot. I just want some answers thanks. :)

THere is something wrong with a 17 year old guy that would have him even considering dating a 14 year old... there is HUGE diffwerences in maturity levels even a year apart during those years... 3 years is a VAST difference during your mid-teens.

I wonder why he can't find a girl that's at his own maturity level.

That's not saying anything bad about you... its just the reality everyone goes through during that phase of their life.

He's a very shy kind of guy. When I met him he looked about 15 or 16. Then I found out he was actually 17. He's asked out 7 girls only one of them said yes he said he doesn't like the feelings of rejection so he doesn't even try anymore unless he knows they like him back. He knows I like him because I texted him instead of my friend about how amazing he was and etc. Would it be wrong if we wait till I was 20?

THere is something wrong with a 17 year old guy that would have him even considering dating a 14 year old....there is HUGE diffwerences in maturity levels even a year appart during those years... 3 years is a VAST difference during your mid-teens.

I wonder why he can't find a girl thats at his own maturity level.

Thats not saying anything bad about you....its just the reality everyone goes through during that phase of their life.

Ok... take what you just told me about him, which is what I suspected... and keep in mind someone THAT socially awkward might always be that way while you on the otherhand will continue to mature and soon find yourself in a situation of "why am I dating this loser?"


When he is 20 and you are 17, there will still be a gap in maturity levels.. and still a big one... just not as huge as now... if you take that to when YOU are 20 and he is 23, that will not be such a hage gap.

All in all... there is something creeepy about a 17 year old that even considers a girl that much younger... and his friends (by that I mean people his own age) will endlessly taunt him for cradle robbing.

Again... thats a figure of speech... not something meant to be bad about you. I see nothing but problems here, and in a year... potiential legal issues will arrise for him.

If you are smart, and I think you are (because you thought to ask others)... you will not get involved with this guy... there is just too many things that I feel are wrong with him in this situation. And nothing you can do will help any of them... and it puts you at risk.


For example a 40 year old woman that cases after a 18 you old guy... is cradle robbing, or vice-versa... Both legal adults.. but there are a number of moral and other issues in that situation...

All right sweetheart. I don't care what you say, sex is on his mind and if he says otherwise he's lying. Keep that in mind. Do your parents know you're dating a 17 year old? You're still a minor and living under their roof. It's ultimately their decision if you can continue.

I was trying to avoid saying that exactly... but C0bra_M3nace is spot on with that statement... at being 14 and he 17, you will be VERY suceptible to being talked into it or pressured into it by him.

I was trying to avoid saying that exactly...but C0bra_M3nace is spot on with that statement...at being 14 and he 17, you will be VERY suceptible to being talked into it or pressured into it by him.

Yanked the words from my mouth Smoothy.

I seriously fear what will come when she gets into the state of mind "I can't lose him". Guys that chase younger girls, and I point this opinion to the ages of 15-18, are typically manipulative. They know that a naïve young girl will do whatever they please once they've "fallen" for them.

Talk to you parents. Please.

Yanked the words from my mouth Smoothy.

I seriously fear what will come when she gets into the state of mind "I can't lose him". Guys that chase younger girls, and I point this opinion to the ages of 15-18, are typically manipulative. They know that a naive young girl will do whatever they please once they've "fallen" for them.

Talk to you parents. Please.

Also there is the aspect of "look at me, I'M dating an older boy" and the mindset young people have before they have fully matured in that they have to do anything because someone else wants them to in order to please them... or to keep them.

These are why there are laws on the books that prevent adults from messing with girls that are too young.

And personally, the laws don't go far enough because even at 16 they are far from being ready to be in the presence of someone much more mature who WILL manipulate them. Its not IF but WHEN... because there are a few real; constants in this world, Death, Taxes, the sun rising in the AM, and young men doing everything they can to get into a girls pants, including lies, pressure and intimidation.

Those are things you can ALWAYS count on.

Also there is the aspect of "look at me, I'M dating an older boy" and the mindset young people have before they have fully matured in that they have to do anything because someone else wants them to in order to please them...or to keep them.

These are why there are laws on the books that prevent adults from messing with girls that are too young.

And personally, the laws don't go far enough because even at 16 they are far from being ready to be in the presence of someone much more mature who WILL manipulate them. Its not IF but WHEN....because there are a few real; constants in this world, Death, Taxes, the sun rising in the AM, and young men doing everything they can to get into a girls pants, including lies, pressure and intimidation.

Those are things you can ALWAYS count on.

Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to smoothy again.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Legally, there are no laws governing dating. But YOU need your parent's permission to date.

Any sexual activity is off limits.

But I agree with the others, this guy needs to grow up and not prey on impressionable teens.

No I'm not dating him. I don't think I will until I'm older, like twenties older. I thank everyone for their advice.

Alright sweetheart. I don't care what you say, sex is on his mind and if he says otherwise he's lying. Keep that in mind. Do your parents know you're dating a 17 year old? You're still a minor and living under their roof. It's ultimately their decision if you can continue.

No I'm not dating him. I don't think I will until I'm older, like twenties older. I thank everyone for their advice.

Good for you then... I hope you actually DO wait until then.

Trust me, at 20 you will not be the same person you are today... and may not even like the same things... but by 20, many of the things we told you you will KNOW are very true... and besides... the opposite sex is a HUGE distraction from education which is more important than you can imagine at this time... and those next five or six years will go by like the blink of an eye.

Keep in mind... the only person you are fooling is yourself if you decide to do it anyway and try to rationalize it in some way.

If you don't have girls you know that have already been pregnant and had kids while in school... you will in the next year or two... and their life ALWAYS takes a turn for the worse afterwards... and their chance of an easy life and good job is magnitudes more difficult than it will be for those who were smarter in how they behave. And yes that holds equally true for the Honor Role girls as it does for those juse barely passing. I knew one girl that was ALWAYS on the Honor role... until she got pregnant, then dropped out... she got her GED years later but the last time I saw her she was working as a waitress.

Heck of a change for someone who had all the chances of a bright future. Ruined, over something she undoubtedly knew better than do.