For quite some time now my partner has been 'stuck in a rut' as he calls it. We're expecting our first child in October and we're both fairly young and struggling with what we're to do with our lives and our current situation. He's been extremely depressed for at least the past month, though I believe it's been longer than this, and I'm not sure how to help him. I try comforting him as much as I possibly can, we don't spend nearly as much time together as we should, we live 30 minutes away from one another and he works full time, do to financial obligations we are unable to move out at this moment in time, I know he is stressed out financially, and worried about quite a bit. Is there anything I can to possibly help him more? Every time I try to get him to tell me how I can help, he doesn't really seem to know what will help him and I just feel so useless. I really can't stand seeing him this way, we both need eachothers emotional support right now. With him feeling so depressed, I'm not getting the support that I need being pregnant, and with me not knowing how to help he's not receiving the support that he needs despite my efforts.

I would imagine all of this is stressful. Babies are expensive and unfortunately a lot of people don't give it much thought before they find themselves knee deep in it.
Your main concern right now is the baby you are carrying. Put your efforts into that right now.
How old are the both of you?

I would imagine all of this is stressful. babies are expensive and unfortunately a lot of people don't give it much thought before they find themselves knee deep in it.
Your main concern right now is the baby you are carrying. Put your efforts into that right now.
How old are the both of you?

I am 19, he is 22. Neither of us planned on having a baby, I was on birth control. Conception happened, naturally, the one time we did not use a condom -_- I just want more than anything for us to get back on track with our relationship, I keep trying to be nurturing and comforting towards him, I try so hard to make him smile and I just feel like all my efforts result in failure. I haven't really felt like he's wanted me in months and while he says this isn't the case, his actions tell me otherwise. I'm just so lost and confused, I don't know how to help.

You can't at this point. Maybe he did not even want a baby and now he's going to have one. But your concern right now should be your baby, not him.
You two are young and this is going to be tough, but it is no longer about you or him. It's all about the baby.

I'm trying to be strong, I do care for my son immensely and I only wish for him to be happy and healthy. I want him to have the life I was not able to have, mainly I want him to have the family I wasn't able to have. I care for my partner and I try my best to be as supportive as I possibly can, I do feel as though he cares for me as well, sometimes its just hard to really know how much :/

My partner and I are quite young, 19 and 22. When we first got together he was very excited, talked openly about wanting to move in with me after about four months, and wanting us to live together. He was very affectionate towards me. I got pregnant very quickly into our relationship and he was very much taken aback by this, scared as I would have imagined he would be. Through out the duration of my pregnancy I've been noticing more and more of a decrease in not only intimacy (kissing, touching, holding hands, hugging, even sex), but in his knowledge of what he wanted with me and with life. It's been very difficult for me, being pregnant, to make sense of all of this. His lack of affection makes me feel as though he is no longer interested in me and wanting to be with me, his lack of certainty makes me wonder if we have a future together or if its one he's even still wanting. I did recently discuss this with him, how his lack of affection makes me feel and think, etc, and since then I have noticed he's been trying to be more affectionate. He tells me he's depressed, that he's very fearful, that he isn't ready, and that he isn't where he wanted to be at this point in his life. He works constantly, no longer goes out much, and genuinely feels rather alone since he moved closer to me and doesn't see his friends as much or go out and be a 'normal 22 year old' as much. Before, I could discuss moving out with him and he seemed not only excited, but happy about it, now I get more of a "i've never had a space of my own before" response out of him and it really just confuses me. He tells me all the time its not me, it's the fear of it that gets to him, 'the concepts', as he would say. When we first started dating him and I both had similar views on a family and marriage, and now that we're expecting our first child, things have obviously changed quite a bit. I've made it very clear the type of future I want with him, and I've also made it clear that it's not a future I expect to be living soon, just one that, upon several years of us being together, I expect us to be heading towards. He's mentioned having more kids with me at another point in the future, and I've made it clear that in order for that to be a reality I wanted to be married, graduated from college, and us living together. He says he wants all of this with me, just not right now. And I can't help but wonder, is it really JUST the fear, or is there something more that he isn't telling me?

As I said, take care of yourself, get through this pregnancy. Your boyfriend will either come around or he won't.

I merged these two threads. They are the same just a bit more information