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View Full Version : He tricked me knowing what was going on.


Steph4353
Aug 12, 2012, 09:56 PM
I'm 13, and there was this guy... He was 16 but he told me he was 14 about to turn 15. He flirted with me, called me beautiful, played with my hair, the whole 9 yards. He was the 1st guy to treat me like that and I fell for it, like an idiot. Well, after he was certain I really really liked him. (I called it love but people say I don't know what love is. Well, I as 13-year-old loved him) he started pressuring me. He wanted to kiss, and I had my first kiss with him. Then he slowly progressed into rubbing my butt, and then he tried to pressure me into oral. That's when I stopped. I got spooked and stayed away from him. I visited my Dad, and my older sister (16) whom I hadn't seen for a few months.

When I visited, I saw my sister sitting on that guy's lap. He had been dating my sister while he was 'dating' me, and he knew about it. He winked at me and made obscene movements to my sister. I was devastated. I really had feelings for him, but he was "exclusive" with my sister.

I have no idea what to do. My sister has no idea, and just days before he tried to pressure me into sex. He lied about his age to me too. Should I tell my sister? Should I confront him? Should I just ignore it, and get over my feelings for him?

My Dad is letting them both live in his house and they are having sex and talking about getting married, and planning out baby names. Its not so much my feelings, it's that my sister deserves better, but I don't think she would believe me. I am pretty sure he's being with other girls too. I have no idea what to do.

Homegirl 50
Aug 13, 2012, 07:56 AM
How old is your sister that your father is letting this boy live in the house with your sister?
You need to stay away from him and tell your dad what happened.
Do you live with your mom? You need to tell her too.

C0bra_M3nace
Aug 13, 2012, 08:44 AM
How old is your sister that your father is letting this boy live in the house with your sister?
You need to stay away from him and tell your dad what happened.
Do you live with your mom? You need to tell her too.


I visited my Dad, and my older sister (16) whom I hadnt seen for a few months.


I sure hope you're exaggerating when you say he lives with them. I don't think any sane father would let his 16 year old daughters boyfriend "move in". Do you simply mean that he "practically" lives there, as in, he's just there a lot?

Steph4353
Aug 13, 2012, 09:44 AM
No, he legitimately lives there. My sister is also 16.

ScottGem
Aug 13, 2012, 09:51 AM
First, I would tell your sister. If she is having sex with this freak, she needs to know he made advances towards you. If your sister doesn't dump him then tell your father. And if he doesn't kick him out then call family services. Your father should not be allowing 16 yr olds to live together. And any guy who would pressure a 13 yr old to give him oral is a predator.

Homegirl 50
Aug 13, 2012, 10:33 AM
I agree with ScootGem and I would add your father is not providing a safe environment for you by allowing this creep to live in the house. He needs to be told what happened.

joypulv
Aug 13, 2012, 10:34 AM
I agree with the others - the sooner the better.
Talk to your sister when he isn't there, and if she doesn't believe you, don't get frustrated, just say it's sad that she won't.
Congratulations on being a cautious and articulate 13 year old. It sounds like you will be a wise adult. You already have a lot of wisdom for your age. Try not to feel bad about falling for his advances - we all fall for charm and compliments at times, it's natural.

Steph4353
Aug 13, 2012, 01:12 PM
I'd like to thank all of you guys for your help and advice. I told my sister, and she talked to him about it. He denied all of it, instead saying that I had come onto him.

My sister believes him... I told her that I was sorry to hear that. I'm not sure how to bring this up to my Dad, what should I say? How do I start the conversation? If you guys could help it'd be much appreciated, Thanks.

joypulv
Aug 13, 2012, 01:19 PM
Timing is a lot. Find a time when he isn't just in from work or is tired. Start by saying you have something serious to tell him and ask if he will sit down or turn off the TV or stop what he is doing. Then say that the guy came on to you (at school, wherever, for X amount of days or weeks) and never once mentioned that he was dating and living with your sister and dad. Tell him that you told your sister and she didn't believe you. Tell him that if any teachers or administrators at his or your sister's school find out he is living there and sleeping with your sister, they can have HIM, your dad, charged with endangering a minor, your sister, and possibly both 16 year olds might be in trouble, depending on what state this is in.

What state is it?

Homegirl 50
Aug 13, 2012, 01:23 PM
Sorry to hear your sister is so foolish and the guy such a jerk, but your father still needs to know. What he tried to do you was inappropriate and your dad needs to know.
Do you live with your mom? She needs to know as well.

Steph4353
Aug 13, 2012, 01:40 PM
Well the situation is really complicated. I technically live in Iowa but my Dad lives in Florida. I was down at my mom's aunt's house, staying with extended family in Pensacola. I was seeing him while I was at my aunt's, although she didn't know about it.

I'm going to tell my mom, because she is coming to get me in around three days, but I don't want to tell her until we get back to Iowa because I am sure she will freak out.


I was vague about it, but I asked my Dad why he let my sister's boyfriend live in the house and he says my sister's boyfriend's mom gave him custody of him. I still think it's really gross that he lets them share a room, and sometimes my little sister(She's eight) could hear them having sex at night.

Talking to my step-mom revealed that my sister and her boyfriend had previously been kicked out, on account of them doing Spice (I think that's a synthetic marajuana). Well now they are back again. so I don't want to rock the boat and ruin things because I know they all love him, and I think I would seem like a home-wrecker.

I didn't know my Dad until recently.

Homegirl 50
Aug 13, 2012, 02:10 PM
Social services should be called in and you don't need to be in that mess. You need to stay away from his house. That is not a safe place for you or that young child.
Your aunt needs to know what went on too. I think you need to tell your mother when she gets there. Something should be done about this.

LOLlover
Aug 13, 2012, 02:56 PM
Look also may be show her this site and all the answers you have received and maybe she will see more clearly

ScottGem
Aug 13, 2012, 02:58 PM
Do you love your sister? Because if you do, you need to get her away from this guy. Frankly, at this point, based on what you have told us, I would make a call the Family Services you can make it anonymously.

The age of consent in FL is 18. I would call and tell them you know of a 16 yr old living in the same bedroom with her boyfriend with the father's permission.

Homegirl 50
Aug 13, 2012, 03:00 PM
I don't think the sister wants to see , she does not want to believe her boyfriend did this.

Steph4353
Aug 13, 2012, 03:19 PM
Thank you guys, so much. This has really helped me, a lot. I think I am going to report it. I hate to do it, but I also think it is the best thing to do. I didn't know the legal age of consent was 18... Is it illegal even if they are both under 18?
My sister has talked to me about him, and I had to keep my lips crushed together because she was telling me gross things about what they do.

I told my Dad, and he's done nothing. He's not mad at him at all. I mean, if some guy tried to take advantage of my daughter like that, I would be mad. But I guess because he hasn't known me all my life means things are different.

Homegirl 50, I understand. I think she doesn't want to believe that the one guy she truly loved (from what she's told me) cheated on her.
One other thing, I know this is completely my sister's business, but when she was 13, she had sex with a 20 year old guy and had him put in jail. It was in the newspaper. She's definitely not new to sex.

I just am worried. And grossed out that my Dad allows that. I was supposed to stay with my Dad until my mom could get me but now I am at my mom's cousin's house.

They keep bothering me about visiting, especially my little sister, but I really, really don't want to see my sister's boyfriend. Or my sister.

I don't want to visit, am I wrong for that? And I'm scared to report it, I've never done something like that. How do I even do that?

joypulv
Aug 13, 2012, 04:17 PM
WAIT!
"Florida's age of consent is 18, though the law contains a provision allowing 16- and 17-year-olds to consent to having sex with someone age 16 to 23."
I found that in a Tampa newspaper from last year. I had a list for all 50 states ('Romeo and Juliet exemptions') but can't find it.
So don't call social services just yet. The family uproar needs to be worth it and this might not be effective.

Homegirl 50
Aug 13, 2012, 04:38 PM
You need to stay away from there. Tell your aunt and your mother and let them handle it. You let your aunt know why you don't want to go back there.

Steph4353
Aug 13, 2012, 06:37 PM
Okay thanks. I won't say anything unless my little sister sees more of the sex. She's only eight. It isn't right.

And I will talk to my mom tonight, and also my aunt. Thanks guys.

Homegirl 50
Aug 13, 2012, 06:42 PM
In the meantime, you stay away from there.

Steph4353
Aug 13, 2012, 06:43 PM
I will. No visits. I think it's the best thing to do. I can't thank you enough for helping me out with this.

Homegirl 50
Aug 13, 2012, 06:45 PM
We wish you well. Keep us posted.