I made a custody agreement for convenience, as my mother has had my son (which I had as a teen) since a very young age. I want to rescind the agreement due to current circumstances.

Circumstances:

The child has been on probation and in a PINS program for 2 years now. Notihing has progressed, he is only getting worse.

He is now in foster care, it was the last resort.

Problem is, we are now going through the family court system and my mom is causing a lot of trouble for me. I don't think she should be involved anymore considering what she is doing.

I received court summons in the mail and it's full of BS. She is being vindictive and lying.

Not only do I want to rescind the agreement, but I'd also like to know if the court papers can be modified due to the lies and hearsay contained within the statements she made. It's complete lies and I can prove it, and she can't prove any of it's true. I don't want a judge to look at it and take it as face value, nor do I want to have to discuss it in court.

The main purpose for rescinding the custody agreement is that she wants to be involved (for the wrong reasons... which is money) and I don't mind her being a resource for the child (as I am unwilling to be a resource), not at all, but if this happens I need my parental rights terminated. I am working on this, but in the meantime, I want her out of the loop. I do not want her involved in the court proceedings.

Please help.

I made a custody agreement for convenience, ...

Not only do I want to rescind the agreement, but I'd also like to know if the court papers can be modified ....

Did the custody agreement result in a court order?

You would have to be more specific as to what you mean by "court papers". Those are generally more difficult to rescind.

I'm curious to know what your mother is lying about.

In one thread you are trying to kill "parasites" by using tobacco. What kind of parasite would you be trying to kill?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/medical-conditions-diseases/how-much-tobacco-can-one-consume-combat-parasites-692688.html

In another you appear to be a person with a serious prescription drug problem ending in you having an abortion.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/medications/dont-judge-me-xanax-when-pregnant-672091.html

Along with this thread... https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-law/they-responsible-medical-bills-591399.html

Then you ask about using alcohol to lose weight... https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/nutrition/can-alcohol-help-you-lose-weight-579398.html

And the most damning is that you want to prevent social workers from talking to your child(ren) alone at school.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/how-do-prevent-any-social-worker-agent-speaking-child-alone-school-631191.html

For all intents and purposes it appears that your mother is not causing problems for you, but you are causing problems for yourself AND your mother.

Care to come clean?

You can't just rescind a court order. If an agreement was signed off by a court then a court has to issue a modification.

You can't modify court records, but you can have your own evidence or statements added to the court record.

but you can have your own evidence or statements added to the court record.

AND, her mother can use the OP's posts here as HER evidence to support her stance.

I mean rescind the custody agreement.

The problems involve her saying things she has no clue about. The paternity of said child was never established and she is naming names who have nothing to do with paternity. I know who the child's father is, and I don't appreciate her speculating, and I don't know why a court would accept her accusations... why not ask ME? Among other things.

Like I said, I don't have a problem with her being a resource but I'm perturbed about the lies in the court affidavits. I don't understand why they didn't come to the source (me) but ran with whatever she said. It makes no sense.

You can't just rescind a court order. If an agreement was signed off by a court then a court has to issue a modification.

You can't modify court records, but you can have your own evidence or statements added to the court record.


Can you tell me how?

And what I want rescinded is the custody agreement. I just want the court docs modified or amended.

Can you tell me how?

And what I want rescinded is the custody agreement. I just want teh court docs modified or amended.

You go to the court that approved the agreement and submit a petition to modify. As for court records you submit you comments to be added to the court record. Though that is usually done during the hearing.

You go to the court that approved the agreement and submit a petition to modify. As for court records you submit you comments to be added to the court record. Though that is usually done during the hearing.

I don't believe there is an actual custody agreement as the child is under the care of the state. OP wrote that child is now in foster care. So the state is the one holding the current custody.

I dont believe there is an actual custody agreement as the child is under the care of the state. OP wrote that child is now in foster care. So the state is the one holding the current custody.

Good point! Any agreement that may have existed was cancelled by being put in foster care. And given the other issues the OP has, I don't see them getting the child out of care.

No it will take more than filing a motion in court if the child is in foster care. The social services will have required changes or things that need to be done to even be considered, there will be home visits, counseling and more required.

I have long ago not believed this was even close to true since there are too many strange posts, unless all of these strange things they do is the reason they lost the child.

I dont believe there is an actual custody agreement as the child is under the care of the state. OP wrote that child is now in foster care. So the state is the one holding the current custody.

NO, the custody arrangement was made up before the child went into foster care. This was around November of last year (prior we had an informal guardianship agreement, had no problems until child got into trouble/probation/PINS, etc). Child entered foster care in June this year.

The purpose of the custody arrangement was because my mom was taking care of him and it was needed.

The custody arrangement did not allow for her to put him in foster care, I had to sign the papers to do that.

All the custody arrangement was, was a basic document allowing her to legally do certain things (but it was limited in some ways, as I explained about placing in foster care-she didn't have that right).

It was voluntary, and there was no issue with it, it was what was needed to be done.

At this point though, it is causing me problems as she is trying to butt in far too much. As stated, I don't mind her being a resource for the child if he is to ever get out of foster care, HOWEVER, not with this simple custody arrangement. I want a complete termination of parental rights before I'd even consider it due to the drama she causes.

I want her OUT of the court proceedings, and I want to rescind the custody order.

Foster care is wanting to get him back home, I have court date after court date to deal with now. I DO NOT want to deal with her BS too along with it.

How do I do this?

And PS: I don't want the child back, he hasn't lived with me his whole life basically and I'm not willing to be a resource. I am working on terminating parental rights. I want nothing to do with this.

Again the custody agreement was rendered void when the child was placed in care.

Again the custody agreement was rendered void when the child was placed in care.

So why is she still involved and is getting served the same court papers I am getting served?

Because if the children were to ever get out of foster care if she had the custody before they went in, she would be the one to get custody after they come out. If they come out
But until they come out,(if they do) there is really nothing you can do about custody orders

I'm curious to know what your mother is lying about.

In one thread you are trying to kill "parasites" by using tobacco. What kind of parasite would you be trying to kill?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/medical-conditions-diseases/how-much-tobacco-can-one-consume-combat-parasites-692688.html

In another you appear to be a person with a serious prescription drug problem ending in you having an abortion.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/medications/dont-judge-me-xanax-when-pregnant-672091.html

Along with this thread... https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-law/they-responsible-medical-bills-591399.html

Then you ask about using alcohol to lose weight... https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/nutrition/can-alcohol-help-you-lose-weight-579398.html

And the most damning is that you want to prevent social workers from talking to your child(ren) alone at school.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/how-do-prevent-any-social-worker-agent-speaking-child-alone-school-631191.html

For all intents and purposes it appears that your mother is not causing problems for you, but you are causing problems for yourself AND your mother.

Care to come clean?


No, OP is never going to come clean. She is going to come back, all righteous indignation and sarcasm along the lines of intending to open another account with another username to get accurate advice. There are certainly issues in OP's life. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/how-do-prevent-any-social-worker-agent-speaking-child-alone-school-631191.html

No way is she getting custody. I can imagine what live and in person sounds like!

(Great research, J9 - I recognized the user name.)

No, OP is never going to come clean. She is going to come back, all righteous indignation and sarcasm along the lines of intending to open another account with another username to get accurate advice. There are certainly issues in OP's life. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/how-do-prevent-any-social-worker-agent-speaking-child-alone-school-631191.html

No way is she getting custody. I can imagine what live and in person sounds like!

(Great research, J9 - I recognized the user name.)


Come clean?

OK, sure. Even though it's not relevant.

I was raped by my father's friend as a teen. My parents are religious and refused to let me have an abortion or give up the child. I didn't have the resources to have an abortion anyway. It was 1996, there was no internet (well nobody had it back then anyway), I lived in an extremely rural area, I had no transport, and no money. I had NO choice. My parents knew of the rape and did NOTHING, didn't let me do anything, and still remained friends with the guy. I was abused, OK? It's easy to say 'call the cops'... 'tell someone'... but when you are abused like I was, that's not an option.

I didn't want the child. To be honest, I hated him. I do hate him. Still. My parents put me through this and I really don't care, I want the kid and my parents out of my life. This was/is an awful experience and something I am sick and darn tired of reliving.

My other issues are benign and have nothing to do with this. The CPS thing was an open and shut case, it was a matter of basically mandated reporting, my child said something off the wall questionable that had no truth to it, and I was cleared of any wrongdoing almost immediately.

Anything else you'd like to know?

Edit: And that's what I was talking about when I mentioned my mom putting erroneous info in the court papers. She's trying to protect the rapist. I don't know if there's a statute of limitations on rape, nor do I really care at this point because I've moved on aside from it being thrown in my face again, but that's one reason why I am angered about her statements to the court.

I didn't want the child. To be honest, I hated him. I do hate him. Still. My parents put me through this and I really don't care, I want the kid and my parents out of my life. This was/is an awful experience and something I am sick and darn tired of reliving.


And this hated child is the same child you are trying to get back into your home?

And this hated child is the same child you are trying to get back into your home?


No, I said I didn't want him back, he hasn't lived with me his whole life basically. I DO NOT want him back. I want my mom to back off, that's the whole point. Where did I say I wanted him with me?

What you need to do is start making decisions that are healthy for all parties involved. For one thing it may be better if your child is adopted out. Then your child will not be exposed to such a caustic environment. When you go to court you need to expose the rapist and your feelings. By doing what you are now you also are covering up for him. What that says to the world is that is was OK. Was it? Surely not. There is no SOL for rape of a child. You need to not only set the record straight (find the courage) but also make sure this person is limited for the rest of their life from doing it again.

The only way your even going to begin to heal inside is by setting things in motion to make it right. Start by making positive decisions that will be best for everyone.

OK, sure. Even though it's not relevant.

I was raped by my father's friend as a teen. My parents are religious and refused to let me have an abortion or give up the child. I didn't have the resources to have an abortion anyway. It was 1996, there was no internet (well nobody had it back then anyway), I lived in an extremely rural area, I had no transport, and no money. I had NO choice. My parents knew of the rape and did NOTHING, didn't let me do anything, and still remained friends with the guy. I was abused, OK? It's easy to say 'call the cops'...'tell someone'...but when you are abused like I was, that's not an option.


Yeah its relevant. It puts a whole different light on your predicament. It would have helped if you had shared it with us. However, I do have some issues. First, yeah you did have an option. You went to school, right? You had access to a phone, right? You had doctors monitor your pregnancy right? You had ample opportunity to tell someone you had been raped. And you said "as a teen". How old were you and what state was this? It is very possible he was guilty of statutory rape. In that case, unless your state has a SOL on statutory rape, you have a slam dunk case. All you need to show is that you were underage when you conceived and that he is the father (DNA will prove that). If that is the case, then he may still be able to be prosecuted.

The second question is why are you involved at all in the CPS issue? You gave up custody. The state has taken the child from your mother. Why are you involved?

And this hated child is the same child you are trying to get back into your home?

She has maintained, from the first. That she doesn't want the child. Considering this was a child of rape, I can see the possibility of getting a TPR.

She has maintained, from the first. That she doesn't want the child. Considering this was a child of rape, I can see the possibility of getting a TPR.


Then I've completely lost track of the nature of the dispute - let me read backwards.

I thought the concern was keeping the child away from her mother, rescinding the custody agreement.

EDIT: Okay, I've got it. OP wants her mother out of the equation. She wants to revoke the custody agreement with her mother because of her mother's lies, believing that will give custody back to her and then she plans to terminate her parental relationship with the child she hates.

I was on some other track - to nowhere.

Yeah its relevant. It puts a whole different light on your predicament. It would have helped if you had shared it with us. However, I do have some issues. First, yeah you did have an option. You went to school, right? You had access to a phone, right? You had doctors monitor your pregnancy right? You had ample opportunity to tell someone you had been raped. And you said "as a teen". How old were you and what state was this? It is very possible he was guilty of statutory rape. In that case, unless your state has a SOL on statutory rape, you have a slam dunk case. All you need to show is that you were underage when you conceived and that he is the father (DNA will prove that). If that is the case, then he may still be able to be prosecuted.

The second question is why are you involved at all in the CPS issue? You gave up custody. The state has taken the child from your mother. Why are you involved?


The CPS issue was something totally different. I have 2 children who live with me, that I love and are well taken care of. My school-aged child said something that got misconstrued and as a matter of "mandated reporting", I got reported. The whole story is really stupid, all it was was a misunderstanding. I'm an organic gardener and some idiot took something my child said and somehow thought I was growing pot. STUPID. I wasn't, I don't do illegal drugs. Anyway, over and done, not an issue, I was cleared of any wrongdoing and the case was closed almost as fast as it was opened. The reason I asked the question about CPS is because I don't trust cops or authority and surely no one would advise talking to a cop without a lawyer, so I was worried about someone talking to my child without myself or a representative present.

As for the rest of your post, no, I didn't have options. No, I was not in school. Yes we had a phone but my parents checked the itemized bill religiously and if anything was out of the ordinary, there was an inquisition and beatings to follow. I was abused, K? When you're in that position, then you'd understand. Yeah it sounds so easy looking back from the outside but to actually be there, you just don't know what it's like. It's incredibly rude to blame a victim of abuse and rape, by the way. Why go there? It was 1996, I don't need a lecture or a would have, should have, could have. I don't think you understand the extent of the abuse I went through nor do I care to rehash it.

I have to go through the process of proving paternity because the foster care system wants support, so whatever happens there I guess we'll see. If he can be prosecuted, then maybe he will be. I don't know if I care to go through with that. I can't answer that with certainty right now. It would be like reliving it all over again and I'm not sure I care to.

Then I've completely lost track of the nature of the dispute - let me read backwards.

I thought the concern was keeping the child away from her mother, rescinding the custody agreement.

EDIT: Okay, I've got it. OP wants her mother out of the equation. She wants to revoke the custody agreement with her mother because of her mother's lies, believing that will give custody back to her and then she plans to terminate her parental relationship with the child she hates.

I was on some other track - to nowhere.


Sort of... I just want my mother out of it all together. She can have the kid back BUT only under the circumstance that my parental rights are terminated, which is what I hope will happen with the upcoming court proceedings.

Sort of....I just want my mother out of it all together. She can have the kid back BUT only under the circumstance that my parental rights are terminated, which is what I hope will happen with the upcoming court proceedings.


I'm an adult victim of rape - not the same, of course, as being raped and having a child while in my teens BUT have you thought about taking action against your rapist?

I realize you have other children. Is there any way your rapist can harm them OR other children - if that's his sexual interest?

My concern was that my rapist NEVER touch another woman.

It's incredibly rude to blame a victim of abuse and rape, btw. Why go there? It was 1996, .

Who blamed you? Certainly not me. And while I have never undergone the type of abuse you talk about, I do have some understanding. I know an abused child often thinks they deserve the abuse. Not that it was true, but that type of feeling fosters a cycle of abuse.

I don't know what you were like in '96. I can understand that you felt you had no options, but you did. And you need to understand that. If you parents were religious, didn't you go to church? Wasn't there a clergyperson you could talk to?

As to "why go there", because a rapist generally doesn't do it once. There is no telling how many others he might have raped or might still rape. It will also give you closure and help you heal. If you tell us what sate you were in and how old you were when you conceived we can tell you whether there is a chance of still prosecuting.

Finally, I was referring to the CPS case regarding this child. If the child was place in foster care, there is a CPS case. Are you saying you are involved in that case because the state is seeking reimbursement?

Who blamed you? Certainly not me. and while I have never undergone the type of abuse you talk about, I do have some understanding. I know an abused child often thinks they deserve the abuse. Not that it was true, but that type of feeling fosters a cycle of abuse.

I don't know what you were like in '96. I can understand that you felt you had no options, but you did. And you need to understand that. If you parents were religious, didn't you go to church? Wasn't there a clergyperson you could talk to?

As to "why go there", because a rapist generally doesn't do it once. There is no telling how many others he might have raped or might still rape. It will also give you closure and help you heal. If you tell us what sate you were in and how old you were when you conceived we can tell you whether there is a chance of still prosecuting.

Finally, I was referring to the CPS case regarding this child. if the child was place in foster care, there is a CPS case. Are you saying you are involved in that case because the state is seeking reimbursement?

I am not aware of any CPS case with this child. If there is, it's just regarding his behavior and involvement in probation. Maybe I don't know about it since my mom has custody, BUT the court documents did say that there is no ongoing CPS case (because she's listed as a resource, so they check into that). They checked me too, because I'm a potential resource still as I haven't terminated my parental rights so they still see me as a potential resource at this point, and there's no open CPS case against me either.

As for my parents, they were alcoholic religious freaks. No, we didn't go to church. They kept us isolated, completely. We couldn't leave the home, we couldn't use the phone, we didn't go anywhere without them present. It was my life, I didn't know if it was normal or not because how could I know? I didn't know how other people lived. I figured it was a little strange but I didn't know. Anyway, it's been 16 years, I'm not interested in rehashing it. There's no way in hell I'm going through a rape trial. I was sexually assaulted as an adult (not fully raped, just sexually assaulted) and I did go to the cops and they treated me like complete garbage, and I just dropped it. I wasn't putting up with that. Not going to now either.


And heck no, this person, or ANY person for that matter, has any access to my children. I am vigilant about that. They've never even been babysat their whole lives, I trust no one when it comes to my kids. It makes me sick that my parents just didn't care and still remained friends with this scumbag, I wish I knew why. If I had one wish it would probably be to know WHY.

And heck no, this person, or ANY person for that matter, has any access to my children. I am vigilant about that. They've never even been babysat their whole lives,. I trust no one when it comes to my kids. It makes me sick that my parents just didn't care and still remained friends with this scumbag, I wish I knew why. If I had one wish it would probably be to know WHY.


So your parents knew you were raped, knew the person - and did nothing? And remained friends with him?

Honestly, I'm beginning to understand where you're coming from a whole lot better.

If I can ask another question when you had the baby, why didn't you put him up for adoption?

Okay, two more questions - if someone is looking for you as a source of income and also your mother, what about the father?

If I can ask another question when you had the baby, why didn't you put him up for adoption?


She answered that, her parents wouldn't allow it.


I am not aware of any CPS case with this child.

Then I don't understand. Who is looking at either of you as a "potential resource"? If the child was taken away it had to have been done by CPS or some other government agency.


As for my parents, they were alcoholic religious freaks. No, we didn't go to church. They kept us isolated, completely.

Then I have to ask; who took care of you during the pregnancy? Where was the child delivered? When did you finally understand that your life was not normal? What did you do about it then?

She answered that, her parents wouldn't allow it.


I'm thinking she was in the hospital, in her teens, social workers around, maybe a chance to say something to someone. Her parents didn't have to allow it. And then she went "home" to live in the same house with parents and child before she made the break, got married, had other children.

She answered that, her parents wouldn't allow it.



Then I don't understand. Who is looking at either of you as a "potential resource"? If the child was taken away it had to have been done by CPS or some other government agency.



Then I have to ask; who took care of you during the pregnancy? Where was the child delivered? When did you finally understand that your life was not normal? what did you do about it then?

He wasn't "taken away" per se, we went through 2 years of him having major behavioral issues (well, more like a lifetime, but at least 2 years of serious and legal trouble), being on probation, drug use, and being in PINS program. Everything that was tired to help him had failed, so the last option was to voluntarily place him in foster care. I had to sign papers to put him into foster care because the custody agreement I have with my mom didn't allow her to do that.

Now, I have to go to court for several things: support, establishing paternity, and terminating parental rights, and I'm not sure what else at the moment. I have literally reams of court papers, I don't remember what everything in there is.

The aim is to return the child to family (or someone), not to keep him in foster care. THAT is why people are listed as possible resources-for the purpose of getting the child out of foster care. In order for someone to be a resource, they do a background check to make sure you're not wanted, or a sex offender or have any CPS cases open or that have been founded. Myself and my mom are listed as potential resources, and we have both been cleared.

I'm thinking she was in the hospital, in her teens, social workers around, maybe a chance to say something to someone. Her parents didn't have to allow it. And then she went "home" to live in the same house with parents and child before she made the break, got married, had other children.


You have to understand how I grew up and the extent of the abuse I endured. I don't know why you're being so cruel, but please stop because it's very offensive. Would you say the same things to Jaycee Dugard? I spent a lifetime of being conditioned and abused. It's easy for people who had normal lives to think 'oh, why didn't you just do this or that'... it's NOT that easy. I had no one, I had nowhere to go and like I said, I was so conditioned... even when there were times I could've technically told someone, I had this huge fear of my parents, and not only that but I knew they'd deny it and all my life I believed that no one would believe me over them because they were adults and I was just a dumb kid... this is something they instilled in me. I honestly thought that if I had come out with anything related to the abuse and rape, that they'd kill me. That's how scared I was. We knew as kids, you better keep your mouth shut OR ELSE.

But that still means that he is in the system and being monitored by CPS or some govt agency.

But that still means that he is in the system and being monitored by CPS or some govt agency.

Well yes, he has a caseworker, all I'm saying is that he wasn't forcibly removed and that I nor my mom is under any CPS investigation. It was a voluntary placement. No one is in trouble besides him.

[QUOTE=SmilingInside;3233540]You have to understand how I grew up and the extent of the abuse I endured. I don't know why you're being so cruel, but please stop because it's very offensive. Would you say the same things to Jaycee Dugard?QUOTE]


You are comparing your situation to that of Jaycee Dugard?

No one is being cruel. You came here and posted. You omitted a lot of information. If you don't want to address this any longer, then retain an Attorney instead of seeking advice here and stop posting.

I realize it is important to you to remain victimized in your own mind. Maybe that works for you. I don't know.

Cruelty would involve copying portions of your other threads, and no one has done that.

So - your attacker is still out there, perhaps attacking other people, perhaps endangering children. You got pregnant. Your parents thought it was your fault. You lived in the same house with your child, escaped - and left him behind (because you hate him).

You have got to agree on some level that this is very hard to understand.

Back to Jaycee Dugard - didn't she escape with her children, the children fathered by her rapist?

Well yes, he has a caseworker, all I'm saying is that he wasn't forcibly removed and that I nor my mom is under any CPS investigation. It was a voluntary placement. No one is in trouble besides him.

I never said there was. But you kepot saying there was no CPS case when clearly there is. A CPS case doesn't mean someone is in trouble. It means that CPS has intervened and is monitoring the situation or taking some action.

You have to understand how I grew up and the extent of the abuse I endured. I don't know why you're being so cruel, but please stop because it's very offensive. Would you say the same things to Jaycee Dugard? I spent a lifetime of being conditioned and abused. It's easy for people who had normal lives to think 'oh, why didn't you just do this or that'....it's NOT that easy. I had no one, I had nowhere to go and like I said, I was so conditioned....even when there were times I could've technically told someone, I had this huge fear of my parents, and not only that but I knew they'd deny it and all my life I believed that no one would believe me over them because they were adults and I was just a dumb kid....this is something they instilled in me. I honestly thought that if I had come out with anything related to the abuse and rape, that they'd kill me. That's how scared I was. We knew as kids, you better keep your mouth shut OR ELSE.

First, I don't see where Judy was cruel in the response you quoted. She was simply stating her understanding.

Second, no I wouldn't say the same things to Jaycee Dugard, but then her situation was different. She was kidnapped and held prisoner. It was only the stupidity of her kidnappers that led to her recovery.

The thing that bothers me, is I can understand why you remained in that environment until you learned better. What I don't get is that once you came to understand that you had not led a normal childhood and that you had been abused, why then did you not do something about it? Why is your mother being looked at as a resource when she abused her own children? Why isn't she in jail or at least not allowed around children?

There has been a new major development in this case and I'm wondering if I should post it here or make a new posting? It's of extreme importance.

There has been a new major development in this case and I'm wondering if I should post it here or make a new posting?? It's of extreme importance.


If it's a continuation of this problem it goes here so people don't have to search out this thread in order to find the background.

If it's a continuation of this problem it goes here so people don't have to search out this thread in order to find the background.


Well I'll give you the gist of it, and hen you tell me whether to post it here or make a new one.

I just found out today that my son had run away from the facility he was at on FRIDAY. They just told me today. He's still missing.

I got a call from some strange number and I didn't answer it, this was on Saturday before I knew about him being missing. Anyway, I called the number back today to try to see if it was him, I left a message and he called back. It was some older sketchy sounding guy who said he had let my son use his phone.

What the heck do I do here? I don't want to do the wrong thing and scare this guy off because it's the ONLY lead on his whereabouts, but I am so unsure about what to do. I can't believe the man actually called me back.

I'm so damn confused right now about all of this... why was I not notified, what to do, what to do about this man who let him use his phone?? I don't know whether it's a good idea to call the police and tell them about the man's phone number or if that's a bad idea because it might lose the only lead we have. I was thinking to give it 24 hours and see if he calls back (the man said he'd have my son call, so I'm waiting). I don't know what the police could even do since the phone was from a different city than where my son is believed to be. I'm guessing the guy is a crackhead and it's probably a throwaway phone, he surely sounded pretty skeevy.

EDIT:My son has a substance abuse issue so I'm sure when he ran off he went straight on the lookout for drugs or alcohol and I'm thinking he probably got mixed up in something real bad here.

Tell the police. Don't wait. No brainer.

Tell the police. don't wait. No brainer.


The police are already aware he's missing... I'm just unsure about telling them about the phone number because what if it causes me to lose the only lead I have?

Tell them

tell them

Half of me thinks that's right but the other half I'm trying to put myself in this guy's place, if the cops call him, he's just going to deny ever seeing the kid and then won't take my calls anymore either. At least he talked to me, I guarantee if the cops call him he won't ever talk to me again and certainly won't give them any info. At least I got info out of him. See the dilemma?

It should be your first priority to give the police this number. They won't call it, they will track it and find out where this person is, then go in person. Hopefully your son will be there and be safe.

If this guy is as "skeevy" as you feel that he is, there may be the lives of other children at stake.

It should be your first priority to give the police this number. They won't call it, they will track it and find out where this person is, then go in person. Hopefully your son will be there and be safe.

If this guy is as "skeevy" as you feel that he is, there may be the lives of other children at stake.


Are you sure they won't call the number? Because if they do, all will be lost. Also, the phone is a cell phone from a totally different city than where my son is, different state even. I'm also assuming it's a prepaid, based on how the guy sounded. How would they trace it?

They trace it by where it last pinged from. I'm not exactly sure how that works, but it would be from the closest cell tower from where the call came from. The area code on the phone may be different, but the ping could actually be local.

It may be a throw away, but you are only assuming that, you don't know for sure.

They trace it by where it last pinged from. I'm not exactly sure how that works, but it would be from the closest cell tower from where the call came from. The area code on the phone may be different, but the ping could actually be local.

It may be a throw away, but you are only assuming that, you don't know for sure.


I called the police and gave them all the information, I don't know what will happen, the cop sounded pretty grim, but I'll update if I hear anything.