Couple Married in NY, separated 10 years, she lives in NJ, he lives in NY. What state do I file papers.

The state in which you reside.

The place of marriage has nothing to do with it. Which are you, the husband or the wife?

I am the wife. I work and live in NJ and earn more money, own property and have full custody of our son. My husband livs in NYC, has an apartment, earns less and has never paid child support. Since NJ recognizes divorce by default I think I should proceed this way. I do not want to spend money on this divorce.

File in NJ, doubtful he will object and ask for a move.

Do you already have child custody and child visit and child support settled> I assume you must since you said he was not paying the support.

The state in which you reside.

The place of marriage has nothing to do with it. Which are you, the husband or the wife?

I am the wife. I work and live in NJ and earn more money, own property and have full custody of our son. My husband livs in NYC, has an apartment, earns less and has never paid child support. Since NJ recognizes divorce by default I think I should proceed this way. I do not want to spend money on this divorce.

File in NJ, doubtful he will object and ask for a move.

Do you already have child custody and child visit and child support settled> I assume you must since you said he was not paying the support.

My husband and I never had any legal agreement. He does not contribute money but spends excellent time with our son.

I am the wife. I work and live in NJ and earn more money, own property and have full custody of our son. My husband livs in NYC, has an apartment, earns less and has never paid child support. Since NJ recognizes divorce by default I think I should proceed this way. I do not want to spend money on this divorce.

My husband and I never had any legal agreement. He does not contribute money but spends excellent time with our son.

I am the wife. I work and live in NJ and earn more money, own property and have full custody of our son. My husband livs in NYC, has an apartment, earns less and has never paid child support. Since NJ recognizes divorce by default I think I should proceed this way. I do not want to spend money on this divorce.


There is no choice here for you IF you plan to be the Plaintiff. It's your State of residence. You file where you live. Your money, his money, that does not matter when it comes to jurisdiction.

I suspect if you don't spend money now you will pay later - a meeting with an Attorney should also be step #1, before you decide whether to represent yourself.

In short, you cannot file in a State where you do not reside. NY recognizes divorce by default, so I'm not exactly sure what you are asking in that regard.

File in NJ, doubtful he will object and ask for a move.

Do you already have child custody and child visit and child support settled> I assume you must since you said he was not paying the support.

We have never had a formal agreement for child custody or support. I have always made more money and have been generous to him. Up until recently I even paid for his health care. He has been an excellent father to his son. He adores the child and spends every free moment with him.

Does this matter that there is no formal agreement in place If I elect to do pro se divorce by default in NJ where I reside?