seemenow45
Aug 9, 2012, 11:41 AM
I have been in a relationship for 2 yrs with a man who lied to me about being married. He told me he was divorced when we started dating. Actually before we were even sharing how we felt about each other. He told me he was locked into a confidentiallity agreement and couldn't say he was divorced. I believed everything he told me and boy where there some whoppers of lies. Some were actually manipulative lies. He was very worried about my friendship with another man who I had dated before him. I found out the truth and confronted him, he lied and then eventually came clean several days later. I feel used, hurt, angry, sad, like I lost my best friend and lover because of the lies. Sort of like being thrown into hot coals and stabbed.
He was married to an abusive woman who has borderline personality disorder, anorexia, bulemia and is plain mean. He said his marriage was over long long ago and he stuck there because of his son who is autistic. He also said that he did not believe in running away he tried to fix her again and again only to have nothing change. So he basically checked out of the marriage after she cheated on him several times. He met me fell in love and said he never wanted to loose me. So he spun the lies to keep me in his life.
Now he has left her, and is in the process of getting a divorce and he wants me in his life. He says forever. He said he knows that it will take a long time to earn his trust back but he wants to move forward. I am afraid he will leave me, lie, or cheat on me. I have pulled away a little because I am hurt. I did start to date another man (the one that he is very jealous of again) this guy is very nice, sweet, loyal, loves me and would never cheat. I care for him but not the way I do for the liar. I am really confused. Not sure whether to trust again and risk it all or leave and try to make a new life. I am torn and confused.
I can understand not wanting to be with the abuser and protecting his son but why lie?
Do you think there is hope that he will stay true and this will work or should I walk away.
He was married to an abusive woman who has borderline personality disorder, anorexia, bulemia and is plain mean. He said his marriage was over long long ago and he stuck there because of his son who is autistic. He also said that he did not believe in running away he tried to fix her again and again only to have nothing change. So he basically checked out of the marriage after she cheated on him several times. He met me fell in love and said he never wanted to loose me. So he spun the lies to keep me in his life.
Now he has left her, and is in the process of getting a divorce and he wants me in his life. He says forever. He said he knows that it will take a long time to earn his trust back but he wants to move forward. I am afraid he will leave me, lie, or cheat on me. I have pulled away a little because I am hurt. I did start to date another man (the one that he is very jealous of again) this guy is very nice, sweet, loyal, loves me and would never cheat. I care for him but not the way I do for the liar. I am really confused. Not sure whether to trust again and risk it all or leave and try to make a new life. I am torn and confused.
I can understand not wanting to be with the abuser and protecting his son but why lie?
Do you think there is hope that he will stay true and this will work or should I walk away.