Hello, this is my first post on this site. I am absolutely in trauma. It has been awful being a mother. My daughters are 10 years apart. Both have used and dealt heroin. They have both been abusive to me. Both have been in jail many times. Both have lost there children due to there using. I have lost 4 grand children. Both continue to be abusive to me. I am 58, one is 28. She is currently in jail. I love her oldest daughter so much. She lives very far from me as if I had obtained custody my daughter would never have given us a moments rest. My daughter is borderline and bipolar. Very hard to deal with. I have refused to talk with her any more. I have tried to help her so many times its exhausting. My oldest daughter is over one year clean (I hope) she and her husband lived with myself and my husband and then my husband got physically abusive with me and I moved out. My daughter and her husband moved with me. She is preganant with another baby. She also lost her two sons do to heroin use. She is very abusive to me. Angry, name calling. I told her and her husband they had to either pay me rent or move out so I could rent the apartment out. She became highly abusive calling me crazy and a psycho. She then said she was going to get with my soon to be x and have me put away. I told her she needed to go. I gave them until October 1. They moved the next day. In with my abuser!! I am so done. This is so painful.

Any one else go through this? I can not allow either of them back into my life it is way too much pain and drama. I am to old for all of this drama. I just want a peaceful quiet life.

Any one have any ideas.

Thanks

Hi, this may be strange but I'm 18 and understand the situation a little. My mother is verbally abusive to my grandmother and myself. My grandmother is 56 and had breast cancer. My mom wasn't very supportive through it, she remained verbally abusive. I've tried to talk sense into her, for her to appreciate my grandmother more. She raised my mom and my uncle while they were both drug users. My mom was 14 when she had me. My mom moved out about 5 years ago and I stayed with my grandmother. My mother's attitude and personality never changed and as much as it hurts, I tell my grandma to cut her out of her life. I hardly speak or see my mom so I wouldn't be an issue. In my honest opinion, as much as it may hurt you and effect you, stop talking to them and keep it that way. You deserve to be happy and keep living your life. You're still young and have plenty of more people you could meet to make them your real family. What makes a family is the love not the blood. I wish you the best of luck with your situation and hope everything will get better for you.

Wow, how much torment should one person have to deal with? You need to remove yourself from these abusive people. If not permanently, at least step back until they can at least be civil. If that never happens, in the meantime, see a counselor so you have some help putting your own life back together.
I do have one suggestion, while you are going through this transition, keep a log of ALL contact you have with your family. And I mean ALL contact. I promise, it will be valuable in the future.