hi guys thank you for taking some of your time for me... I am going through a phase with a girl and I am bit confused about what should my next step be
- I am dating this girl for more than 1.2 years
- we both love each other but due to her suspicious and telling me the part of truth after weeks made me go mad . Cmon we have to accept that guys do get bothered with this .
- she was heart broken when I broke up with her .
-she has lots of ego I have never seen this much in any of my ex
-we din speak for 1 month
-she called me and we just started talking randomly she wanted to get back but I told her I won't be mentally at peace and I don't want to harm you too
- she started hanging out with people I didn't like before
-went to booze with a person whom she had a crush before me
-i should accept I got jealous but more concerned cause this people only believe in smoking drinking and smoking up all night they are basically useless people.. the whole college knows.. and though I was reluctant on getting back I want to avoid problems.. even it considers giving a second thought for the relationship..
-then I asked her to meet me after lot of talks she got convinced but she was hell bent on not getting back.. she said you also left me for a month (kinda revenge attitude or satisfying ego attitude )
-once I bumped into her in a restaurant where she was having a cocktail with the guy she had a crush on before me ,she got up tio hug me but at the same time she was ballracked I guess . I hugged both of them andi so wanted to be calm but couldn't help it . I told her meet me after 15 minutes
- but she was so adamant of not leaving that guy but she was readyto talk to me for 15 minutes . But I was like we will meet later on
- she refused and I was adamant I don't know what was I thinking but I was hell bent to talk to her that time
-when she met me outside for 10 minutes I just tiold her I asked her if anythingis going betweenthem she said no , I told her that I miss her and hugged her she too passionately hugged me and we were cozy for few minutes (thinking was that to make me feel good and shew me off )
-later I joined them and the guy was into his cell an it was too embarrassing for her and she just wanted to leave.. after paying the bill she wanted to just leave but I didn't . I tried stopping her but she that I have come with him and go with him.. and when she got in the car she abused me saying she was having a good time and I screwed it..
- she was very pissed with me . But I just couldn't control talking to her she left and then I told that guy to tell her to meet me near her building but she didn't turn up I called she didn't pick
-i thought I should work with patience . I told one of out mututal friend she spoke to her and her reply was like I was not in a mood to talk cause he was so adamant . I do have a soft corner for him but this behavious is pissing me of .
-the same day in morning she wanted to meet me at my home but later on she was like let it be I forgot we r not dating
-this guys and my ex talk a lot on what's app it seems cause their chat timing comes the same aropund 1 and 3 in the night..
-that guy also broke up after 5 years of dating 2 months back
-he was telling me to talk to her on the phone during that incident cause it would just make things worse . I agreed but I just couldn't leave that place..

questions
- its been over 2 days this incident happen
- I want her for good
- I get impatient about what to do
how to get her back.. if you give me an idea at this haywire time I can put it to use .

I think you are behaving obsessive and controlling. How dare you go up to her when she is with someone else and demand to speak to her.
Leave her alone.

She said that I had chances of getting back if I didn't bump into her in that restaurant... she is really pissed over it.. but after few days we spoke for a while but she is holding that thing in her mind .I accepted my mistake.. I wann make it up to her .I apologized . I sent her copy of sketch I made she liked it.. but she is telling me to move on.. I don't wanan be needy.. I don't behave like a needy dog with her on the phone I know where to draw lines... but what can you suggest me??

My suggestion is leave her alone and move on. And stop being so needy and controlling or you will ruin the next relationship too.

Why are you so needy and think you have to control everything? Who deprived you during your childhood?

We were again in talking terms after I broke up with her . She asked me to give a second thought I gave it a try after 2 days and she denied of getting back , looked like she wanted to take a revenge . But after few days she was talking to me again she was being good and missing me but I bumped into her in an restaurant with her ex crush whom she met before me

She was having a cocktail with him . I met them with a smile but she intiated for a personal talk . I probably lost my control and insisted her to meet me after the lunch.. but she got pissed and annoyed . That day was bad . I told her I'm going to regret this day after 2 days but just couldn't go from there.

Now she is really pissed over it I spoke to her after 3 days and that thing is still there she told me if that didn't happen she would be dating me still.. I don't pour my emotions on the phone but I accepted it.. and now what can be done.. I love her !

she said that i had chances of getting back if i didnt bump into her in that restaurant ... she is really pissed over it ..but after few days we spoke for a while but she is holding that thing in her mind .i accepted my mistake ..i wann make it upto her .i apologized . i sent her copy of sketch i made she liked it .. but she is telling me to move on .. i dont wanan be needy .. i dont behave like a needy dog with her on the phone i know where to draw lines ... but what can you suggest me ????
Leave her alone and move on. This is what she is telling you to do.
You are still trying to control things. Leave it alone.

"Broader analysis?"
I expected a coherent and well written summary. This is just a much too long string of anecdotes. Please try again, without the play by play, and with some insight into where the relationship stands.

I was dating this girl for more than a year , first I broke up for valid reasons and after a month she wanted me back giving it a thought I told her we can get back again but she said no (looked like revengful cause I had hurt her ego cause I broke up ) I want to work out things between us . After that I maintained no contact rule she called me up late in the night to share a good news and before cutting down the phone she said she is finding it difficult to forget me ( through out the call I was calm she asked me why are you sounding that amazing ) I didn't reply anything when she said that . Now should I wait for her or move on?? Really want to work out things cause time have healed our wrong notions and damages.. it would be great to have your advice..

Call her and if she says no again, leave it alone.

Forget it guy, I mean truly forget it because she is dangling the bait in front of you and when you reach for it she yanks it back. It's a revenge teasing for dumping her, plain and simple.

Walk away, don't look back!!! This is nothing but sport for her. And no need to keep making repeat threads of the original.They are all here. Edited of course.

Your choice is up to you of course if you want her back or not, but if you do you can't do it the way you are doing it

Didn't realize this is the same girl from your last post.
You need to leave her alone. You are way past desperate. Get a life and stop sniffing after this girl and picking up every crumb she drops.

After breaking up she had it with my friend who is just an aquintance . He also broke up while I broke up . While they were dating . She realized she loves me and he realized he loves is ex ,we patched up . She told me this and I forgived her but told her if you really want this to work out just be there cause there are chances I might go haywire ,I think she told me cause she had afear that I would come to know . But from the next moment it self it seemed she doesn't have a guilt about it . As of nw I'm just taking my sweet time.. I have accepted it , I would have forgiven her , but I am not positive about her future behaviour ! I think its revenge time cause when she goes revengful with other people ( me , her exes ) which had land her into major trouble ! Just want to dump her some day with proper reasons in mind.. slight revenge is okay just to satisfy myself a bit , I won't physically harm her or anything .

This makes absolutely no sense. The only thing I can make from it is that you broke up she went out with your friend, now she's back with you.

What are you doing? Of course you should be afraid of her "future behaviour", because nothing is going to change. You both are just going to run back into the same old routine, same old habits and you're probably going to break up again. Nothing good comes from ex's, they're ex's for a reason.

This makes absolutely no sense. The only thing I can make from it is that you broke up she went out with your friend, now she's back with you.

What are you doing? Of course you should be afraid of her "future behaviour", because nothign is going to change. You both are just going to run back into the same old routine, same old habits and you're probably going to break up again. Nothing good comes from ex's, they're ex's for a reason.

I agree, makes no sense.
But I think IF I am reading correctly that OP want some sort of revenge related to her behavior.
Because of this statement,
" i think its revenge time cause when she goes revengful with other people ( me , her exes ) which had land her into major trouble ! just wanna dump her some day with proper reasons in mind ...! slight revenge is okay just to satisfy my self a bit , i wont physically harm her or anything ."

To the Op if this is the case, then that is a bad idea.
Revenge is not OK, what have you gained from it? Only wasted time and energy, rather than spend that energy on revenge and trying to hurt someone, just say goodbye and part ways.
Spend the time and energy getting on with your life.

I'm getting that OP wants to get back into a relationship with this person and then dump her out of revenge.

Welcome to the world of Junior High.

I do note that this is nothing new: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/should-wait-ex-come-back-move-690674.html

I'm getting that OP wants to get back into a relationship with this person and then dump her out of revenge.

Welcome to the world of Junior High.

I do note that this is nothing new: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/should-wait-ex-come-back-move-690674.html

That was the gist I was getting, I must learn to read the OPs other posts, (slow browser, and I get tired of waiting) and it seems they are in college, acting just that, Junior High.
When will people learn that the time they waste on spite, revenge, and making the other person pay is time they will not get back and could have been spent on something positive?

Superman, I think it is evident this girl should be left to herself, and you need to drop it and find something else to occupy your time.

I think you are acting like a spoiled brat who's itching to get back at her.
You should not have taken her back if your feel this way.
Grow up and leave her because you don't trust her, or suck it up.
Plotting and talk of revenge is childish.

What you say make sense , probably to discontinue myself hurting more I should do something about it.. we both want to be with each other but the moment we meet we just can't stand each other . I guess we should part ways and I should move on...

Now that sounds like a mature, thinking person!

Yeah you make sense . I am putting my mind over matter and I don't feel that miserable any more . I din attend her calls any more.. I want no revenge , I don't want anything for her... I just want myself back . Thank you guys for your support :) I have read revenge backfires on ourselves that is why I am not thinking about it , I have also experienced it.. but as you said its her revengful attitude will she paay it off some day or highly regret about it?

yeah you make sense . i am putting my mind over matter and i dont feel that miserable any more . i din attend her calls any more .. i want no revenge , i dont want anything for her ...i just want my self back . thank you guys for your support :) i have read revenge backfires on ourselves that is why i am not thinking about it , i have also experienced it .. but as you said its her revengful attitude will she paay it off some day or highly regret about it ??


You know the very BEST revenge? You go on, you meet someone you are happy to be with, she is happy to be with you, your life is successful - and the player gets to stand and watch it all happen and wonder what she must have been thinking when she treated you badly.

Best revenge in the world!

Last birthday I was with her 24 hours . We broke up one month back ! I still like her , but I think if she only wants me badly the relationship can work .I didn't talk to her since a week . She is spending time with one guy , he is the new guy in her wats app dp and statuses on fb ! We had a strong relation first I broke then she . What should I do ?

Should I call her or message?

What should you do? Nothing. Nada. No Contact. She's with someone else now, and he can wish her a happy birthday and give her gifts. Save your energy, your money, and your heart for someone who is in your future.

IGNORE her birthday! Let the new guy buy her a cake.