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View Full Version : Should I get engaged to this guy?


sosoooo
Aug 3, 2012, 10:41 PM
We're very close to get engaged. We're dating for 2 years and both just turned 29. I was married once for a short time at 18. Now my problem is I've dated like 6 guys (all that my parents know), and there were always talks of marriage. I didn't want any of them. This guy, I know for two years and my parents are very hopeful I'll marry him... I don't want him anymore :(
And this scenario has been happening way too many times. I make men fall in love with me, find a flaw in them and boom, I don't want to get married.
This guy, I'm not even sure I love him anymore. He is kind, loyal, respectful, hard working, smart, good looking, flexible, stable, loves me too much and never ever wants to hurt me. He has accepted me with all my flaws including my moodiness. I'm trying to solve the problem with hormone therapy and I'm much much better now.
He has flaws too: He has weak personality, whatever I say, that's what he also wants. He had serious issues communicating, but he's gotten much better. He acts childish a lot. He can't really decide much for himself. He has never been independent in his life and his mother is the only financial source in their house (although he works, he just got a house and doesn't help with the house). His mother treat him like a toddler, doing every single thing for him from cooking, washing, ironing, making breakfast, making lunch boxes,. He wants me to be strong and work long hours. I like to help him financially but somehow forcing me to work has turned me off since I work two jobs and I do get tired.
I just don't know what to do. On one hand, I'm scared to marry him. On the other hand, this process has been repeated way too any times :( can anyone help me please?

f010244
Aug 4, 2012, 12:31 AM
I married when I was 20, by 25 I was divorced. Now it will take a miracle for anyone to talk me into it again. For me the paper does not mean anything and it only adds problems-courts have to get involved if the marriage falls apart.

I understand your concerns about finding flaws in every guy, everyone has flaws, including you, that's no secret and you did mentioned flaws that you both have.

If the guy tells you to work longer hours cause he needs money, then the hell with that guy.

You and your family need to get the subject of marriage off the table and out of their heads. I am 27 now, been single for 2 years and I am no happy, no drama, no issues.

Life your life, finding jerks is so easy, finding a good guy takes a lot of time and effort. Work on yourself first, you mentioned something about your moodiness, take care of that, and then find a guy that's worth your time.


Drop the guy and tell him to go back to mom, she apparently is still willing to do the distance for him. Let her deal with him.