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View Full Version : Can I trust my husband?


Bonnie2202
Aug 2, 2012, 07:25 AM
I have been married for 4 years to my husband and up until now we have had a brilliant relationship. We have 5 kids between us (he has 2 - I have 2 and then we have had a baby together) and we both work hard to have a good life and are best friends. I am a very honest and upfront person and have told him everything about my past and thought that he had too. I met him after his wife had had an affair and left him with the kids - Because I felt "sorry" for him I ploughed everything into him and his kids to help him rebuild his ego and life. However I have since found out that during his ten year relationship with his ex-wife (someone whom I get on with, as its all very amicable now) he was unfaithful on numerous occasions (even when she was pregnant and when they were engaged to be married? ) My husband only finally told me after one of his conquests told me that he had rung her to say I was coming to a party and not to say anything about his past as I don't know about it?! I have no reason to believe he has ever cheated on me and he says his previous relationship was toxic (even the ex wife says they were awful for each other) I do feel that he really loves me but I'm worried that once a cheater always a cheater (which is exactly why he said he never told me!) I feel like I don't know him any more - but then I feel like we are so well suited and perfect for each other. Could it be that he was with the wrong partner - or do you think he has this in him now and I should leave before he does it to me? He seems genuinely remorseful, but I don't know any more.

C0bra_M3nace
Aug 2, 2012, 09:13 AM
I am a believer of, once a cheater always a cheater as well. I feel that, if one can be in love with someone, and be unfaithful so easily, then their conscience could do it again if the desire and opportunity arose. However, some circumstances could make it easier on a conscience to approach cheating and that can be something, in this case, to look into. I think, if a relationship is so 'toxic' that the love is gone, it could be much easier to go about cheating.

With that being said, if his past relationship was truly as 'toxic' as it was made out to be, and he does truly love you. The chances, in my opinion, are much more slim. It really now boils down to the trust and honesty you both share in this relationship.