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View Full Version : Speak up or play it cool?


ace1978
Mar 5, 2007, 02:57 AM
Here is a quick rundown of my situation. I was dating this girl really seriously for about a year. The problem was, she and I live about an hour apart. Due to our jobs, we couldn't really move closer at the time. We saw each other on the weekends but this soon became tough because we don't share mutual friends and a lot of times she or I would have something going on with our friends and wouldn't even see each other for two weeks. This became to hard to manage the relationship so I decided we needed to break up. This broke her heart! Mine too! After a couple months apart, I couldn't take it! I missed her so much and she missed me. We ended up getting back together. This time it lasted for about six months, then again, same thing. Conflicting schedules, no time, so this time we mutually decided it wasn't working again and broke it off. Here's the thing: we have some of the most unbelievable chemistry together, both physically and emotionally. We laugh constantly and have a great time together. We've now been broken up again for about three months but we talk maybe twice a week or so. We've decided to be friends because we really do care a lot about each other. Well as fate would have it, I'm now getting a new job and moving within 10 min. of her. When we talk, she says that she's happy and enjoying her freedom, but when I told her I got this job and I'm moving pretty close to her, I could tell in her voice, she was very excited! She began asking all kinds of questions like, when I was moving, she seemed very excited. So finally to my question. I am having lunch with her in a couple of days for the first time in three months. I really want to get back together because even though we've broken up twice, it was basically geographical and not because of big relationship problems. However, as I said, she says she's enjoying her freedom and I don't want to seem to anxious! So do I play it cool and keep playing the friend card just hanging out more when I move and see how it goes? Or do I tell her I want to be with her again. I'm 28, she's 25. I hate playing games, so I kind of want to just tell her I want to be with her but I don't know if that's the best move. What I definitely don't want to happen is not say anything, she meets someone, and I'm too late because I held my tongue. Please help!! Do I hold my tongue or tell her how I feel?

Krs
Mar 5, 2007, 03:04 AM
I think you need to speak up you are 2 adults and I hope it works well for both of you

Jiser
Mar 5, 2007, 03:09 AM
I think you need to speak up you are 2 adults and i hope it works well for both of you

Perfect! Communication is the key, tell her how you feel.

Krs
Mar 5, 2007, 03:19 AM
Absolutley communication is the KEY to a GOOD strong relationship

talaniman
Mar 7, 2007, 11:39 AM
I think you have a lot more emotional investment than she does and your both at different places in your lives. Communication may close the gap, but you having a life without her would balance your side at least. Go slow and use this time to get to know each other as you have missed out on a lot because of the distance. Pouring your heart and life story on her would be premature and overwhelming. Go slow.