What are the chances I can get my one true love back? Does it sound like he still cares?

A little over 3 yrs. Ago I met the love of my life. He was in a bad marriage she had cheated on him as did his first wife. I was in a bad relationship. Of course we thought we could be friends and nothing would happen. But we fell in love. (We spent a lot of time together he was my boss and had to train me.) Months went by and nothing happened we just talked. I enjoyed working more than being at home and he felt the same.

My friend scared me and said men never leave. So I told him he had until Aug. 15 to leave. It was taken care of by Aug. 13. However I was scared having never lived on my own went from living at home to living with my boyfriend I was with for 13 yrs. I never left. We stayed together for a little over a year. He said I'm not forcing you to leave because I'm not going to have you throw it up in my face yrs. Later. So at different points he would break up with me. He would say he doesn't have feelings we have nothing in common etc. I believe he would do this because I wouldn't leave. I would send emails, text, and call. I would say I'll leave etc. He would take me back I wouldn't leave and it would repeat. We talked about living together and being together forever in Sept. He broke up with me last Aug. and I did notice it was getting harder to get him back. I told him I wanted to rent one of his apt from him. I did and we got back together in Sept and I took the apt. I didn't fully move in or stay there every day. So in Oct. he said it was over he had meet someone and wanted to see where it would go. I moved everything out of the apt overnight and emailed him he can have his apt back and I went home.

I decided in Nov if I was ever going to have a chance I'd need to move so I told him I wanted my apt back which he never tried to rent. He said OK. I then saw his car at his girlfriend and said I saw your car there I don't want the apt. Communication was really strained from the first time I dumped the apt until I said I was taking it in Nov. Then strained again until Dec when I took it and actually moved in. Our contact greatly increased the longer I was in the apt. We texted up to 20 times a day. At one point he called me 3 times in a week to talk. This went on for the first 4 months. I just assumed he didn't have the girlfriend anymore. Then I ran into him with his girlfriend kid at the store. It became really strained after that. I took some advice and quit texting etc. That lasted for 40 days. During this time he emailed me my bills (all my utilities were in his name). He is a creature of habit he sent those the same way on the same days every month. Now when he wasn't hearing from me he sent me one bill at a time and put in smiley faces and a sentence or two. I took it as him missing communication with me.

I eventually saw him and he seemed all nervous shocked to see me. I started texting some again but it has never gone back to like before. During this whole situation he had always? Me about my seeing my ex, staying at the apt, and if my bills are lower for a month why. This summer I started working in the office again. When it's been just him and I he hangs out with me the whole time flirting, teasing, talking about old times etc. I don't think we can deny the connection that has always been between us. And if we aren't alone he finds work related things to come out and talk about. It’s like when I'm there he has to be in front of me.

One particular day when he was out there talking to me his girlfriend walks in. He quickly pushes her out the door. Later when I say something to him about it he said it was a shock to him and it wasn't planned. He said it will never happen again and something will be said. He said you just don't walk in here like that. We work at a public place where people can do that. I found it odd how he dismissed her like that. I asked him if he is happy with her and he said yes. I then sent him an email saying the following behaviors give me hope that you still care. (I believe he was entering my apt when I wasn't there to look around. I think he read my journal about him. I know he was in my mailbox before.) None of that bothered me if he needed proof I was living there and that I loved him.

Well I just found out he moved in with his girlfriend! They have only been together since Nov. He usually seems rational he has 2 kids so I was shocked that he made such a quick choice with kids being involved. He has continued to do a lot of the things that I say give me hope. I don't understand if he has any feeling for me and is just afraid because what I put him through or what?? I don't see if he is so happy with her why he is doing nice things for me and worried about my life? And if he is so worried about me how do you move in with someone knowing your heart is partly with me still?

What are the chances I can get my one true love back? Does it sound like he still cares?

I'm sorry, but this is a blog, not a question, with a lot of irrelevant information.

He's with another woman. Leave him alone. Maybe he loves you, maybe he doesn't. It doesn't really matter.

You were the "other woman" when he was married. Do you want to be the "other woman" again? You need to develop some self respect.

If he cared he'd be with you. It's as simple as that.

(I have come to learn to be suspicious of men who have a past which consists of first wife cheating, second wife cheating - either he has problems which cause him to choose inappropriate wives... or he's lying.)

I find it amusing that he complaints that wives #1 and #2 cheated on him - and then he cheated with you. Interesting.

Unless he's the only man in town I'd move on.

I guess I always blamed it on myself he left and got a divorce. I stayed living with my boyfriend but it was just a roommate type situation. I couldn't get myself to move out. So he became the other guy for a little over a yr. Then he met someone and gave up. I'd never be his other woman again! We haven't hugged kissed etc since he has been with her. I just can't figure out if he still cares and is just afraid or what? I can't let go because I figure if I had the courage to leave when he did we would be together.

Why does it matter? It's done.

What does it matter if he cares for you UNLESS you DO intend to become the other woman.

No he doesn't care, you were just an office thing and a renter. He has a girlfriend, has for some time and lives with her, so the fling is over, and you really need to get beyond it, or get another job, and apartment.

Sorry but you were more into it than he was. Now coming intoyour apartment without you know, or without notice, and going through your things is totally unnacceptable, and CREEPY!

If he cares it would mean there is a chance to fix what I messed up. Maybe he would realize I'm the one for him and end it with her. I know I will never know but I wish I knew what the future holds. If I knew there was a 0% chance for us I could get over it. But by his kindness I have a hard time believing it. Tues. is my last day living in his apt. But we will continue to have a working relationship. I really only work with him in the summer which helps. I'm not crazy about the thought of quitting my job. But it is hard usually when you break up you don't continue to see the person etc.



QUOTE by JudyKayTee;
Why does it matter? It's done.

What does it matter if he cares for you UNLESS you DO intend to become the other woman.

I just don't see why he is so worried about me if he doesn't have feelings. He questions me about seeing my ex, my bills, if I always stay at the apt. The one day he was concerned about me driving on my bald tires called me outside to show me. Just the other day I said my car was making a noise he came out and climbed under my car in dress clothes to look at it. He comes and shovels my snow all winter but none of his other apt. He takes care of all my bills so I didn't have to pay a connection fee and take time off to get everything switched over. I write checks to him and he mails out all my bills. If they need an actual reading he leaves work and goes over to let them in. He does most of my paperwork for the office. Anything I give him he does. I could go on and on about the things he does for me. We just aren't in a relationship. I don't know if I'd do all that stuff for an ex that wouldn't leave until I met someone else!!




No he doesn't care, you were just an office thing and a renter. He has a girlfriend, has for some time and lives with her, so the fling is over, and you really need to get beyond it, or get another job, and apartment.

Sorry but you were more into it than he was. Now coming intoyour apartment without you know, or without notice, and going through your things is totally unnacceptable, and CREEPY!

I just don't see why he is so worried about me if he doesn't have feelings. He ? me about seeing my ex, my bills, if I always stay at the apt. The one day he was concerned about me driving on my bald tires called me outside to show me. Just the other day I said my car was making a noise he came out and climbed under my car in dress clothes to look at it. He comes and shovels my snow all winter but none of his other apt. He takes care of all my bills so I didnt have to pay a connection fee and take time off to get everything switched over. I write checks to him and he mails out all my bills. If they need an actual reading he leaves work and goes over to let them in. He does most of my paperwork for the office. Anything I give him he does. I could go on and on about the things he does for me. We just aren't in a relationship. I don't know if I'd do all that stuff for an ex that wouldn't leave until I met someone else!!!!


Did you post to get advice or to argue and/or defend yourself? If you only want to talk to people who agree with you, talk to your friends.

None of that really matters does it? I mean he has a girlfriend he lives with. Maybe you are being groomed as a mistress?? Or maybe he is just a good landlord, who knows. For sure you are being kept as a back up in case this female does leave because he knows he can get away with it.

None of these speculations and assumptions means a hill of beans because he is with some one else.PERIOD! And you are just an ex he is nice too.

You seem to have made many assumption that have NO facts to back them up.

I'm not trying to defend myself etc. Of course I came on here hoping someone would say yes he still loves you but is afraid because what you put him through. Straighten out your life and he will probably come back. No one wants to hear he doesn't care. It's just hard. I screwed up first by getting involved with a married man while I had a boyfriend then again by not leaving when he did. I have to live with that for the rest of my life. It sucks it looks like I'm the only unhappy one in this situation. His ex is with the guy she cheated on him with and he is with his new girlfriend. I think another one of our problems was the age difference I'm 16 yrs younger. I think it scared him that I would leave him someday. When he first knew I was interested he said he kept ? Himself why I would like him. His ex wife is 10yrs younger. His current girlfriend is only like 2-3 yrs younger. I think maybe my ? Should've been how do I move on?? It's just so hard because of all the contact he has had with me. Makes me want to have hope. Had he broke up with me and not contacted me only for work related things maybe I would've moved on by now. I also wish he wouldn't have rented me his apt when he had a girlfriend. It's hard part of me wants to say don't speak to me the other part would miss the contact. We were together for 2 1/2 yrs. I told him more than I ever shared with anyone.




QUOTE by talaniman;
None of that really matters does it? I mean he has a girlfriend he lives with. Maybe you are being groomed as a mistress?? Or maybe he is just a good landlord,whoknows. For sure you are being kept as a back up in case this female does leave because he knows he can get away with it.

None of these speculations and assumptions means a hillof beans because he is with some one else.PERIOD! And you are just an ex he is nice too.

You seem to have made many assumption that have NO facts to back them up.

I'm not trying to defend myself etc. Of course I came on here hoping someone would say yes he still loves you but is afraid because what you put him thru. Straighten out your life and he will probably come back. No one wants to hear he doesn't care. It's just hard. I screwed up first by getting involved with a married man while I had a boyfriend then again by not leaving when he did. I have to live with that for the rest of my life. It sucks it looks like I'm the only unhappy one in this situation. His ex is with the guy she cheated on him with and he is with his new gf. I think another one of our problems was the age difference I'm 16 yrs younger. I think it scared him that I would leave him someday. When he first knew I was interested he said he kept ? himself why I would like him. His ex wife is 10yrs younger. His current gf is only like 2-3 yrs younger. I think maybe my ? should've been how do I move on????? It's just so hard because of all the contact he has had with me. Makes me wanna have hope. Had he broke up with me and not contacted me only for work related things maybe I would've moved on by now. I also wish he wouldn't have rented me his apt when he had a gf. It's hard part of me wants to say don't speak to me the other part would miss the contact. We were together for 2 1/2 yrs. I told him more than I ever shared with anyone.


Let me say this once more - IT'S OVER.