LJDK
Jul 26, 2012, 12:19 AM
Hi.
It has been ages since I last posted here. I had a happy marriage. It was off to a rocky start. In this process I have grown a lot as a person. So did my wife.
We battled through drug addiction together. I can ramble on, but let me summarize my situation.
Married 1.5 years. Were engaged 1.5 years. Things were going great. Months passed, no drugs, no violence (she used to hit me with her fist etc.)
3 months ago she said she wanted a divorce. I asked why... she said she misses being single. Partying etc. I begged her to stay.
2 months ago I eventually found out she was cheating on me with a guy from her work. The very guy that she insulted behind his back... telling me every day what an Ahole this guy is.
I still begged her, lets work on our marriage. Another month passes she says she hasn't stopped cheating and she wants a divorce. Parents, priest and shrink intervenes. We have a group gathering. We talk.
We had to make a call. I said I want to work on my marriage. She said nothing. Staring at the wall. Crying. But not saying a word. Everyone was trying to talk sense into her head, when I realized its pointless. Told them to just leave her alone. We split. She moved in with her mom.
I filed for divorce about 2 weeks ago.
Now she constantly messages me, phones me and drops by my house. Telling me how much she loves me, she wants to start dating me, she made a mistake. Blah blah blah.
We were married without a prenup or whatever. So mine is hers, hers is mine. I convinced her that we leave the pensions out etc.
My predicament is that until the divorce is final she can start fighting for my money and other stuff. So I am trying to maintain a friendly relationship with her. But its becoming increasingly difficult with her wanting me back now. I want to cut all ties with her and move on with my life. But I am scared things turn ugly before the divorce is final.
A Small part of me wants her back. Simply because dating is so much effort with little reward. Most of me do not want her back because I was begging her to stay, work on it while she was still cheating behind my back.
Having friends is simpler. And frankly I have lost a lot of self confidence during this process. Any advise will be welcome.
It has been ages since I last posted here. I had a happy marriage. It was off to a rocky start. In this process I have grown a lot as a person. So did my wife.
We battled through drug addiction together. I can ramble on, but let me summarize my situation.
Married 1.5 years. Were engaged 1.5 years. Things were going great. Months passed, no drugs, no violence (she used to hit me with her fist etc.)
3 months ago she said she wanted a divorce. I asked why... she said she misses being single. Partying etc. I begged her to stay.
2 months ago I eventually found out she was cheating on me with a guy from her work. The very guy that she insulted behind his back... telling me every day what an Ahole this guy is.
I still begged her, lets work on our marriage. Another month passes she says she hasn't stopped cheating and she wants a divorce. Parents, priest and shrink intervenes. We have a group gathering. We talk.
We had to make a call. I said I want to work on my marriage. She said nothing. Staring at the wall. Crying. But not saying a word. Everyone was trying to talk sense into her head, when I realized its pointless. Told them to just leave her alone. We split. She moved in with her mom.
I filed for divorce about 2 weeks ago.
Now she constantly messages me, phones me and drops by my house. Telling me how much she loves me, she wants to start dating me, she made a mistake. Blah blah blah.
We were married without a prenup or whatever. So mine is hers, hers is mine. I convinced her that we leave the pensions out etc.
My predicament is that until the divorce is final she can start fighting for my money and other stuff. So I am trying to maintain a friendly relationship with her. But its becoming increasingly difficult with her wanting me back now. I want to cut all ties with her and move on with my life. But I am scared things turn ugly before the divorce is final.
A Small part of me wants her back. Simply because dating is so much effort with little reward. Most of me do not want her back because I was begging her to stay, work on it while she was still cheating behind my back.
Having friends is simpler. And frankly I have lost a lot of self confidence during this process. Any advise will be welcome.