My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. She is very high strung, has panic attacks, and very over the top about her dog which died on fathers day. Her father died a few months before that. Lately everything I say is wrong and she takes out all her frustrations out on me when she's nice to everyone else. She doesn't work, is on disability because of her loss of dad and dog, her mom and sister rely on her but yet she goes to the gym and walks 3 to 4 times a day. I always seem to irritate her. She says I try to help when I can't help her. Yesterday she says she needs a break. I was devastated and begged her not to go. This may have been wrong but I couldn't help the way I felt, I love her. She said for the time being, that we shouldn't be friends on Facebook. All her friends including herself deleted me completely. But she says I can text or call if I need her and that she loves me. My head is all over the place. I'm not a stupid man but unsure what this means and I'm confused. She says there is no one else but I don't know what to do. She contradicts herself by saying she's never going to move here but then says she doesn't know for sure. I'm the one with the career and established. She even told me not long ago that I was the one she was meant to marry. She had an abortion once and is messed up about that and had every relationship end badly. I come in second to her dog and she cries uncontrollably when she talks about him. If I say anything negative to her about the dog I'm an . She's mean to me. She replaced her dead dog with a new dog and that damn dog has a Facebook page. Am I just to blind or stupid? I erased all pictures of her and deleted every text and video she sent. Everything she despised about the way she was treated in the past she does to me. Everything is OK for her but not for me. Now I give her the break she wants and got rid of all the memories. We have seen each other and been intimate. But I can't get it out of my head about the way she went about all this. I'm prepared for the worst but have hope. Where do I go from here?

I cannot tell you what to do. But let me share my story. My wife sounded a lot like what you described. Nice to everyone but me, over the top, big issues about small things. I irritated her. Fact is when you love someone you do not want to accept the truth or the possibility of something negative.

For 3 months I begged my wife. For 3 months she rejected this. Everyone told me when all this started I should give her a cold shoulder. And you know what. I should have listened. Now that I am ready to move on with my life, my wife wants back in. It's just how it works. Do not ask me why. My love clouded my judgement, prevented me from seeing the bigger picture.

Figure out why you want her, or to be with her. I might have become synical. I no longer believe in the one, soul mate etc. I believe in common sense. That any relationship can work if both partners are willing. Both. Not 1. Both.

I destroyed myself, begging, pleasing. I have been through hell. I ended up with a mental breakdown. Do not do that to yourself.

If she wants to go, tell her then go. Do not beg her, ask her to work it out. If I followed that advise I would still be with my wife. Or not. Irrelevant really. Life goes on.

Personally,I think you've dodged a bullet.

Let her have her ''break''(break up in my book) and get your own life back on track,one day at the time.

You did the right thing when you erased and deleted everything,now go no contact and leave her to her life.

Relationships are about working through things and overcoming difficulties together.

If that isn't happening it's not a relationship;it's a mess.

Ask yourself what kind of advice you would give a friend were they in your situation...

I cannot tell you what to do. But let me share my story. My wife sounded a lot like what you described. Nice to everyone but me, over the top, big issues about small things. I irritated her. Fact is when you love someone you do not want to accept the truth or the possibility of something negative.

For 3 months i begged my wife. For 3 months she rejected this. Everyone told me when all this started i should give her a cold shoulder. And you know what. I should have listened. Now that i am ready to move on with my life, my wife wants back in. It's just how it works. Do not ask me why. My love clouded my judgement, prevented me from seeing the bigger picture.

Figure out why you want her, or to be with her. I might have become synical. I no longer believe in the one, soul mate etc. I believe in common sense. That any relationship can work if both partners are willing. Both. Not 1. Both.

I destroyed myself, begging, pleasing. I have been through hell. I ended up with a mental breakdown. Do not do that to yourself.

If she wants to go, tell her then go. Do not beg her, ask her to work it out. If i followed that advise i would still be with my wife. Or not. Irrelevant really. Life goes on.


I appreciate what you've been through, but you have also posted that you are/were addicted to porn - what part did that play in the break down of your marriage and your mental breakdown? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=3211848